You sit on the sidelines waiting for something that never happens.
You spend all your energy searching for something that never comes.
And while you spend all your time waiting, hoping, comparing (and then waiting some more), there's a life that's being lost in the process. A life begging to be lived, pleading to be explored.
Not when you find him. Not when you're no longer on your own. Not when you're brave enough or ready enough in whatever way would speak readiness to you.
There's so many roads to the same place.
So many ways to catch a glimpse of some him, to find your path crosses the same path as someone you were meant to cross paths with too. But of all the roads you may choose, I know of no other road that delivers you there quite like the road of actual living.
You're not here to settle for existence. You weren't created so you could simply go through the motions of life. Get out there and do something instead of waiting for something or someone to come for you!
We've been taught so well how to wait. We've been programmed so clearly how to settle for what we think we have to settle for. And comparing ourselves to everyone else who has what we think we're missing, well, that's the easiest one of all.
But how to live, now that's something altogether different.
Most of us have no idea how to do that, much less to do that well. Wait and see. Look around and see what it's safe to do. Don't show up too much and definitely not too loudly or demonstratively if there's something you're actually passionate about.
This world of ours that seems so unjust, so unfair, so stacked against your hopes, your loves, your dreams? Change the part that you have access to. Do something different. Live your own life for yourself, not for someone else who thinks they could possibly know better what that really means.
There's so many things you might regret, Beautiful. But here's one thing I know you won't: Living.
Participating. Acting. Moving. Doing.
Forget all the rest. This is you, this is your life. This is your time to start right now doing something to make it worth living.
Yes, you'll find each other. I've seen it happen far too many times in the face of all kinds of despairing odds that I've absolutely no doubt about that. But don't wait around for it to happen to you.
Don't keep searching endlessly for it to happen that way either. Enjoy the journey. Make it a path worth traveling. You'll both find each other along the way, but it will be so much better a journey if your focus is on the most important thing of all, far more important than the search for another person could ever be, the search for you. The search for your life, for the very essence of why you're here right now, right here in this precise moment in time.
Not someone else. Not why me.
Answer the call. Sure, it's easier to keep doing what you've always been doing. But want to actually change something? Then find the part that involves the doing, the living, the active participation piece.
Life is asking for no one else but you!
What about you, Beautiful? What's calling you out today? I'd love to hear where you're at and what you're all about in the comments below.
So very true- thank you Jane. I’m trying to realise this now and to stop waiting for something that isn’t going to happen, comparing to someone who isn’t there. It’s time for me to find myself and stop looking for him but it’s so hard especially when he’s part of why I’m lost.
It's hard to accept this kind of reality check, Julia. I hear you. Take the parts of you that feel so lost back from him so you can sort them out for yourself. He wasn't who he was supposed to be; he wasn't what he presented himself to be. Of course you feel lost, but if you could lose yourself in him, you can find yourself again within yourself if you remember he's his own person, he's not a reflection of you, nor are you a reflection of him. It gets easier, even as you remember to separate yourself from him, no matter how much we never, ever want to. Little steps. You can do this.