I hear you love him.
I hear you loud and clear when you talk about what he means to you, how great things are when the two of you are together, and how much you want to build a future with him.
But when you’re done with all the things you love about him, there’s something else that matters more than anything else.
How does he make you feel?
Does he make you feel insecure, anxious, unsure about where you stand? Does he give you reason to question him, question your relationship, and even yourself?
You can’t build a relationship on a dream. You can’t build a relationship on qualities he only shows you once in a while.
You can’t build a real, lasting relationship that you actually want to be in for the long term with someone who makes you feel like there’s something wrong with you.
Yes, we all know just how much of our own programming and baggage contributes to this feeling, but being with someone who adds to it instead of lessening it can’t be justified as completely our own doing no matter how much we want to believe it might be.
Relationships take two.
Feeling like something just isn’t right about him, about the relationship and about yourself confirms for you there’s something there that isn’t quite right, even if you can’t put a finger on exactly what it is.
Does he add to your life? Does he add to your happiness? Does he improve your quality of life? Does he bring more love into your world, or does this only happen on a good day?
It’s now we’re talking about.
Not when he lives up to the potential you so clearly see.
Not when he comes around and decides he’s ready to settle down.
Now.
After all, aren’t you ready now?
Haven’t you waited long enough?
No, you’re not wrong. Yes, you do know what you’re talking about. And yes, you absolutely do know everything you’re feeling.
Everything.
It’s because you’re sensitive to him, to how he makes you feel, to what you know in your heart of hearts feels right, and what doesn’t, that you can trust that you know something about this.
Don’t talk yourself out of it or try to convince yourself you don’t know.
I know all the arguments out there that no one can make you feel anything you don’t allow yourself to feel. But I also know that you know the difference between being with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, about him, about your relationship (and yes, even the world!) and someone who makes you feel the exact opposite.
Don’t minimize that part.
He needs to have that, too.
How does he make you feel? Tell us your story in the comments. You’re never alone here, no matter what he means to you.
This website was sent to me by a friend. I'm 59 years old I lost my husband when I was 34 and he was 36 to leukemia. Not something I handled very well at that age. With two small kids to raise I just saw I did that that was what I was going to do focus just on the kids and when they got older I just went and had one relationship that was for seven years and it kind of just ended this past February I would assume. I don't understand it I wasn't talk to nicely through the whole thing kind of he treated me good Bought jewelry and clothes but that was not what I was looking for I wanted a soulmate but I appreciated it I never asked for a single thing I did everything I had to do I took care of him and everything he wanted I would go do everything but I have help issues and so does he but I took care of him and he did take care me I just can't understand why things happen I'm a mess we went to the Dominican republic every year and he always said that that was going to be our place he would never ever go there with anyone else and this year life seems to just be falling apart but he continues to tell me it's all my fault I know honestly I didn't do anything I did nothing wrong I'm not an angel I'm not perfect but I didn't do anything wrong it had to do with my help he consider us married and that was fine with me I was happy. So he decides he's going to take some of the woman to the DR but he keeps telling me how he still loves me and he'll never stop loving me and he calls me every day and comes over when he can and be careful Sue and be careful who you meet. I know everything there is to know about this woman but she doesn't even know he I exist that he talks to me and I'm like ripped into 1 million pieces I still love him. He calls me when it's convenient for him everything to his convenience his daughter tells me she knows I did nothing wrong God knows what he tells people but him taking this woman on this trip on more angry or hurt I don't know what I am and I don't know how to handle it all I do was cry. That's how I am and I have always been that way I am very sensitive I cry and I can't control it I can go into a store and it comes into my mind and I can't control how I feel and I cry I have to leave the store I am confused I'm torn I have a love-hate relationship for him And if I don't talk to him I feel like a crazy lady I know it sounds childish but this is where I'm at right now and I can't function at times and it's terrible I can't believe that he was the first one that I let into my heart into my home since my husband died and this happened it blows my mind to even think I actually let myself trust somebody and this is what became of it and I don't know what to do next what direction to go I know I can't get my heart out again I have too much fear that it's going to be ripped and I don't handle it the way it should be handled
Let those precious tears fall, Susan. Your beautiful, sensitive heart has much to grieve. I'm grateful to your friend who pointed you here. You'll find many sensitive souls on here who feel every word you wrote, the million pieces, the crazy making behaviors. I hope you're seeing that you're not alone and that this is a safe place for you to come while you're in the going through. The first step is learning to trust ourselves, to use our beautiful intuitive senses to our advantage instead of using them to beat ourselves up. The next step is to take everything slowly. It's baby steps until we find our feet again and even after that. Be with safe people. If you don't know any, find a support group that resonates with you. You're not crazy and there's nothing wrong with you, Susan. We'll walk through this with you here together.
I have been in a 5year relationship with this certain guy nd i love him so much,my problem is that he once cheated me with different girls over 2yrs ago since then he has'nt,nd for the past 3yrs hes been showing nothing bt love,bt i cant seem to trust him because of tht cheating history,bt i love him,i just want to knw if this guy really loves me or playing with my feelings
I'm finally starting to get out there and do the online dating thing, this time going into it being clear about what I want (marriage and kids with the right guy). I feel more empowered but I'm coming up against some questions I'd not anticipated. I wondered if anyone can help me out by offering their wisdom of experience?
Okay, so this dating site allows you to specify on the front page whether you want children or not (I make clear I do; most men simply don't answer the question on theirs; anyhow often I think they don't actually read mine when they contact me as some who don't want children have written to me...), but it doesn't have a section for commitment - it just asks whether you want 'long term dating', 'short term dating', 'casual sex' etc. Obviously I put long term dating, but this means that the marriage question then has to come up through the chatting, either online or when you meet. I want to be as clear as possible about what I want, but without scaring people off.
So, I got into a conversation with a couple of guys about what they're looking for. They then asked me, and I said: " I'm looking to settle down, get married and have kids. Obviously not immediately as it takes time to get to know someone and see if you're right for each other..." One of the guys was really sweet about it and said he's not in that place at the moment and that he's sure I'll find what I'm looking for and that the man will be a lucky guy. The other guy started saying you can't rush things like that and that he thinks I might need to be more open to meet people and look for a great partner first before thinking about marriage and kids. I'm chatting to other guys now, but it leaves me with the question: have I gone too far in being open about what I want? Or is it that my openness really pulled out this guy's ambivalence, and it's more about him? Is he right that this is a conversation to have later on? When I looked at his profile again I got the impression that while he is looking for kids, he's not giving the signals that he wants to settle down any time soon, and so if we had met up and I'd given it some time before raising the subject, this would have happened down the line anyway. However, what if I'd done this with a guy who really was interested in settling down sooner, would I have scared him off by taking this approach before we'd even met?
I'm aware we live in a culture where men are probably now less used to women being direct about wanting marriage when starting to get into relationships, I want to be sensitive to that and not go completely the other way to before and scare everyone off! At the same time I don't want to waste my time as I'm nearly 36 and don't want to be dating for years and years. I'm not desperate to get hitched right now but I want to take a focussed approach to finding a great and compatible partner so I'm not going on endless dates with guys who are ultimately ambivalent about commitment.
Any thoughts ladies? (/men?!)
Can anyone help me out with this? I just wondered what others' experiences are of online dating and putting out there what you want 🙂
Hi Clairey,
I met my husband online (not only that but after 7 years of not dating (I think I had 2? And some online email exchanges and some progressed to phone calls (I disliked going on dates 🙂 ) ; and after I turned 41; and having never been married before 🙂 ).
How about looking for an online dating service that gives you the option to check the box for marriage? The fact that one even has a casual sex option seems to raise a red flag for me.
I hope this question doesn't sound too blunt or harsh, but:
Would your future husband choose that site or another that is more geared to marriage or at least meaningful interactions?
Perhaps look for a site based on faith (which is what I ended up doing after seeing some of the online dating options out there) or
certain common interests
or
e-harmony (I didn't do this one but heard it rather serious).
Also, how fantastic you know what you want and that you are brave enough to be upfront about it!! --Look for someone like that 🙂 🙂
Yes, we never know if a particular person is the one or if something will work out.
BUT there is a huge divide between those who are ready and decided they're willing to take this risk of heart and look for a mate
and
those who are still in the "who knows what could happen" "well, you never know" or "wait and see" or "maybe" or "eventually" periods of their lives.
(And then there is an even bigger divide between those looking to see if someone may be their potential mate, like I was, and those who are not even open to marriage.)
In my profile, I checked the box "marriage minded" and wrote , very clearly, first line, that I had a happy full life but wondered if marriage might be in store for me and so here I was writing this profile. I then described some of the things I envisioned us doing together as a married couple and also my life style.
It helped , i believe, that I went in knowing that I didn't want to waste time in long term relationships. I'd been in too many of those and didn't want them anymore (in fact, I realized that I rather be single otherwise and enjoy family and friends and activities), and so I had a firm resolve on that point.
Once something seemed like it could lead to more (like we were emailing frequently and been speaking on the phone or had met for several or more dates already),
I would make clear, in a nice way and not in a pressuring way, that I was only looking to spend further time with someone of a similar mindset.
That didn't mean they had to commit now or "know" anything already, and I often added that I had no idea about them yet,
but it did mean I wanted someone who was looking at me the same way I was looking at them: Do I like this person? Do I respect them? Do we share similar values? Are they kind? Do we have fun? Get along? Share thoughts and opinions? Do they listen ? Do I listen? Am I attracted to them?
And the two big ones:
Could this person be , just as they are presenting themselves now (no idealization or daydreams by me 🙂 ), the kind of person I would marry?
And, if so, do I want to continue to get to know them until I (or they) know either no or yes ??
But Clairey , it sounds like you are doing a good job of this!!
Take that sweet guy's response; that makes it rather clear that guys know how to answer that question. Before you know it, you will start to meet some guys who say, yes, I want to be married too and that is why I am online.
Now take the response about it takes time to get to know someone . That is very true, but it would be interesting to learn what he meant by it takes time.
My husband proposed after almost 2 years , another friend's husband also proposed after that length of time.
So, yes, it takes time, but all along we both knew AND the men knew , it was marriage we were considering and if that did not appear to be a visible near-future possibility , then it was better to end things sooner than later (it also made a difference we were all over 40, but that also was why we were no longer in the "wait and see" and "you never know" periods of our lives 🙂 ).
And then take the response about dating and meeting people and becoming partners and etc...
To me, that says NOT marriage minded at this time and maybe not for a very very long time. I could be wrong , easily :), but for me, I would put them into that open category , the "we'll see" " you never know" "there's time"
And that category is okay. I was in it through my 20's. It was not until later in 30's , that I started to increasingly want to be married and slowly moved out of that category.
So it changed for me. And it changes for others as well, even men.
It sounds like you are going great! I would , however , consider the kind of website you would want your future husband and father of your children to use to find a wife. And start from there , but continue being your honest and upfront self.
This is an exciting time for you!
I hope my comment re the online site didn't sound harsh. 🙂 I was just trying to think from the guy's point of view.
If I was a guy and,like many, didn't have patience or time to scroll through lots of online results and then email with lots of potential dates , etc... and was looking for a more efficient and focused search.
And if I knew I wanted to meet someone special and develop something serious or am thinking of marriage, then I would go to the site that promises that kind of a result and not waste time on the other sites.
Similarly, if I wanted my future wife to have the same faith or enjoy a certain common hobby or interest, then I would look for sites centering around that.
So , think about what your future husband will be like and go from there. No need then to dig deep in some of these other websites. 🙂
Ah thank you SO much EC, this is really helpful to me! And your comment didn't sound harsh to me, it's just taken me a little while to respond because we're probably in different time zones and I'm only now online after a long day (which included a first date 🙂 ). I think you're right, and I plan to try eHarmony and/or Match Affinity if that still exists. I hadn't thought about the very fact that the site has the casual sex option (it is OK Cupid by the way for anyone else reading!), and I've already been avoiding those who select that option even if they've also put long term dating. What I am realising through my powers of deduction ( 😉 - just looking at answers to the compatibility questions they've done and which questions they chose to answer) is that many men seem to be looking for casual sex but select the other options, perhaps so that they feel better about themselves or think they will seem more appealing.
I like how you differentiate between those who are marriage-minded and those who are see-how-it-goes. I feel like I'm starting to get the hang of this and your message is helping me to process this whole online dating thing. I don't have many people to talk to about it and certainly not women who share my particular aim anyway, so people bring their own agendas to all this. I like how you describe how you approached hour conversations with the men you were dating, being up front but not pressuring, that's great and what I am aiming for. The more solid I feel about my choices and intentions, the more prepared I think I am to have that kind of conversation when it's time.
I'm glad I'm making my mistakes now rather than on the more serious site, but maybe they weren't really mistakes, just interesting to see what happened when I asked that question at that time!
It is time consuming to use the dating site so I agree a more focused site may help. Also I realise now that men flock to you when they see a new user on there, as the rate of new messages has steadily slowed down the longer I've been on there. I've narrowed down to a relatively short list of men I'm prepared to go on a date with and then if I feel like I and my running out of real options after a period of time I will try a more serious site at that point.
Thanks again for taking the time to offer your wisdom and experience! 🙂
I have finished with him now,deleted his number and feel better for it Jane.after watching your videos I did the right thing. Thank you
Honestly... All that I do is drink to deal with this pain and hurt... PLEASE pray that I can move on... Thank you!!!
I have NEVER turned to alcohol before to deal with heartbreak... Now ... This is all that I do....
Hell with it... I'm done trying to reach out to people... Life sucks!!! Goodbye and good luck to all of you trying to reach a love from someone that won't give it....
Connie... hang in there! I was in the exact same relationship for 18 years. I did everything, gave everything and provided for everything... and I got nothing (well, very little) in return. I was afraid that I wasn't "good enough" for anyone else. But, to my surprise, when I started online dating... There were a number of ladies interested in me. In the past 10 months I've dated 4 ladies. Some for only 3 weeks, some for over 4 months. The bottom line is that I will not waste their time (or mine) if I don't think we will have a future together. Don't give up... YOU are worth it and you deserve it. - Tony
Thank you Tony!!! I have been trying to move on and I have met so many nice guys.... Not sure why I cannot move beyond Chris... I really really want to but for some reason... I cannot...
I dated a guy for a,year and half as he was,just out of divorce of 18 years..
He is a very kind and fun guy . We had alot of fun times and did so many things in such a short amount of time . He was always,hesitant tho about how he felt for me and said,he was afraid of a,serious relationship that lead to marriage since he had just got out of marriage. He broke up with me recently stating he felt pressure to figure it out for my sake. That he didn't want to hurt me and needed time to figure things out in his life.. I know he really cares for me and at least he has let me know where he is,at .. he says he's not sure I'm the one and just wanted to take it slow . My desire for more closeness and security pushed him.away . He says he loves me but not in a marriage type of love right now.. he has been going to counseling on his own to figure out why he has a hard time opening up and being vulnerable. . At least hes,trying. Although we broke up , he wants to remain friends. We work out together and went on a,weekend getaway but it ended up being more than friends. . We totally enjoy each others company and have an understanding of each others needs however im.torn because I love him and not sure being friends is,going to make him figure things,out if I'm giving him what he needs . Do I live in the moment and cherish the times together and wait for him to figure his stuff out or do I move on and let him go?
I feel it's just the timing is off for him and I'm left trying to figure out what is best to do for me .. I do love him and I need advice on this.
I know how you must feel Heidi...
What I would suggest is, do not stop living your life, do not make him a priority.
He made it clear he can't make you his priority so do the same.
Go out with friends, travel, study... maybe someone ready will come your way.
Give him space, maybe he will come back to you, mabe he won't. But he knows you, and if he's interested he will come back. If not at least you didn't stop your life waiting.
I've met a guy who was traumatized about his divorce and it took me a long time to realize that there was nothing I could do. No matter how "perfect" I was.
You have to let him do this for himself. And it may take a long time, it may never go away.
I gave up eventualy. It hurts, but I am sure it was for the best in my case.
Take some distance. In time you will know what's best for you.
You deserve to be loved and happy. Now. You don't deserve to wait to see IF someone will get there with you. You deserve to know he is there, now.
Wish you the best!
Heidi, Heidi, Heidi... In case my opinion might help you, here it goes: this is not good at all. A year and a half and he doesn't know if you're what he wants?? That screams: HE IS NOT INTERESTED and he is just using you. He has it good and you're trying to be good enough for him?? What?
No one on this entire planet is any more special than you are. You deserve better. You deserve a man who is excited about you and doesn't keep taking what he can from you without giving the love you want.
You doing the friends with benefits thing is only benefiting him. What about you? Why are you throwing yourself under the bus?
Trust me, he's not that special. Cut this non-relationship short so you can truly free yourself to live life on your terms and find a man who can't wait to be yours.
Sorry if it sounds a bit harsh, but it makes me angry that beautiful, valuable women like you settle for so little.
Heidi... Angel is right... You need to end that relationship. He is using you as a place holder. As a farmer I knew use to say "there's no reason to by the cow when you can get the milk for free". I'm a guy that's been divorced for 13 months and was married for 18 years to a women that didn't love me, that didn't want to contribute to our future together, but EXPECTED me to provide her with everything. We have a 10 year old daughter that is the reason why I didn't divorce her 5 years earlier. I'm not blaming my daughter at all... It was my choice to stay. I just couldn't put her through a divorce at 5 years old. My point is... DON'T stay in a relationship because he can't figure out what he wants... If he wants you and REALLY loves you, he will REALLY listen to you and what you want... PERIOD.
- Tony C
Last month, I met a guy. We had six dates. We fooled around, but no sex. It took me five dates to start realizing that I liked him. Then, after date 6 he had a fight with his wife (he's separated, but not divorced...I know, I know). After their fight, he backed off. Said he needed to really do some thinking and make sure he figured out what he wanted. Said we should be friends...I understand that -- friendship is the best foundation (IMHO) for a relationship. He has texted me every single day since then. Tells me when he's working late, wishes me good morning, wishes me sweet dreams, and we text about other stuff too. Two weeks ago we went to a race (he paid), went to a movie (he paid), and to dinner (he paid). When we were dating, I felt comfortable and at peace. I felt safe and cared about. Now, I want more and am struggling to be a friend without putting too much pressure on him. This is the most successful relationship since college. I'm 44 and he's 47. I still have my online ad up...we never talked about taking them down...but no other guys are responding to me. I'm so conflicted right now. I do not want to wait on him to decide, so if I met someone else that would be okay for me. I also don't want him to think I'm waiting around either. Dating is not easy!!
You might be setting yourself up for disappointment by choosing a man who is not available. The signs are there. Trust your intuition telling you this is off.
Seven years without a marriage proposal. Each year, I thought: "It'll come next year." Then another year rolled over into the next and so on. Or "living together" seemed a good alternative, when really it's not. Your head tries to rationalise it and make it ok, when your heart knows it's not.
Tough as it is, enough is enough. It's felt like he's had a nice free test drive these past 7 years. So it's time to pay for the car or be left by the kerbside. I should have put down my foot sooner.
I feel your pain... I think sometimes we as women give too much and receive nothing in return but hurt....I sometimes feel like all that I have been for the past four years is a place to stay, a nice hot meal everyday, and anything he wants or needs he can get from me, and I so readily gave it to him while I have gotten nothing in return... Sometimes I feel like deep down inside he is thinking what a dumba$$ I am.... He is probably correct... Maybe it is time that us women turn the tables on these types of guys and treat them like they treat us!
I applaud you for finally taking a stand for yourself 🙂 you couldn't have said it any better than that! If marriage is what you you want, then don't settle for less. You deserve all that you wish for and more. All the best dear.
I have been with this guy for four years, I truly feel like I love him, but he makes me feel like he is with me until something better comes along... He will never make a commitment with me. It's sad but I can count on one hand the times he has actually made me feel like he cared...I'm really not sure why that I cannot just tell him I am through.. I have tried so many times to end it with him but then I regret it because there is this huge hole and emptiness in my heart...
By the way... I am 54 years old and he is 52... I just totally feel like I could never get over loving him...
Dear Jane,
I may be relating to this article. He is so nice to me but I feel like somtging is missing. He said to me that we're not on the same page and he is not yet ready to get married. We have the relationship for six months now and it is still early to discuss such matter. Bit I dont feel that we are progressing in the relationship and he just wants what we have right now. I feel like this not what I want but he is really nice to me and I like him so much. I dont know what to do and how to react. Hope you could give me advice. Many thanks.
This isnt easy to say,I was in what I thought was a honest relationship with his brother,we were so very happy until I found his up coming wedding plans under his bed.I couldn't believe my eyes.to make sure I rang the church,the minister said it was still on. I had a stiff drink then lost it to be honest. He told me it was cancelled.anyway that was the end of that.I was heart broken. I loved him so much.yet I was to blame. After meeting his brother at his a few times who came across as so very genuine, I took one of his cards as he is does proffessional photos. I rang him one day to ask him to speak to his brother for me.I told him what had happend. He said I didn't deserve that and said I could call him anytime. He told me loads about his brother,saying he was always a womeniser.I was still in a very bad place.I was drinking to ease my pain.then one night I texting him and he asked me to go to his and talk. I did think it was the wrong thing to do but after a long think,I went.he was so understanding and knew what I was going through,as he's brother had treated women badly before and knew what he was like. He said I could stay and he'd sleep on the soffa. I stayed. Felt abit scared.because he didn't sleep on the soffa after all.we didn't do any think.he just held me and I went to sleep.long story short we started getting feelings for each other. I felt so safe with him.were been together about six months now with a two month break.the thing is,I feel something is wrong.we talked of commitment,we was going to get engaged new year.it never happens and he didn't even mention it.yet he keeps saying we will and that he loves me so much but I have found out he's been losing to me and he really dont care about my feelings,when I get upset with him about what he's doing and how it makes me feel.its always my fault. Were not kids I'm 52 he's 59.I've had really I'll health for a few years now.so I dont work.I just dont understand why someone can treat you this way if they say they love you,I've just also found out he has three phones,hidden from me.I love him so much but I feel I am losing my mind now.I dont feel I even want to be here anymore.I dont cheat,lie I may not have a lot but I have spent my last money on him loads of times,cooked for him ect. He dont do flowers or buy cards.never as.please help me.even when I finish with him.he says if that's how you feel ok then.like he ain't even bothers if were together or not.
This realization has been the crux of getting a clear picture of what I want. I has taken me almost two years to fully understand this.
It's quite interesting to see how I feel with a guy that's not it. I feel the same thing I had always felt, but now I immediately balk as opposed to stay like I used to.
How interesting is it that we are so attuned to our feelings but have never learned to actually listen to them and understand them.
Childhood trauma does that to you. I'm so glad to be in a much better place right now. I am so proud of myself for doing the choosing now and dropping guys when they don't measure up with no regrets. I wouldn't even have dreamed of it in the past because "who do you think you are?" Pesky little crappy messages I heard when I was a child. Well now I know: I am me and I can do better than that.
Good for you Angel!
I really like your sentence: "How interesting is it that we are so attuned to our feelings but have never learned to actually listen to them and understand them." How often I have felt that 'rejected'/'unwanted'-type feeling in the past and thought it meant I needed to work harder or that I was doing something wrong, when in fact it's a signal that someone isn't good for me! How liberating it is to start to understand this now! 🙂
If he doesn't make you feel 100% safe emotionally and physically, question whether you want to stay.
well for starters i'm single & i'm getting to know this guy who i see weekly on the train, he gave me his number last month n i've been waiting for him to txt me but when i last saw him on the train he said "sorry i haven't been texting as i have a busy life but i would like to have a coffee with you sometime" when we both get off in the city he kisses me on the cheeks & gently hugs me goodbye.
after i've said goodbye to him i feel happy n i have a smile on my face. i feel this guy makes me happy n i've met him last October n known him for 6 months. last month i was the 1 who was txting him tue - fri basis n others thought i was stalking him but i wasn't.
is it ok for 2 friends to be kissing on the cheek n hugging goodbye? he's 25 and i'm 27 n he's upto my shoulders in height. should i txt him? he makes me happy when i see him or if he was to txt me i would have a smile on my face.
i want to text him without being pushy, but i don't want my rents to find out about it. Should i txt him or wait for him to do the txting first even though he makes me happy n it happens weekly?
IMHO...it is okay to kiss friends on the cheek and hug goodbye. I do that with my friends. If you want to text him, text him; however, if he's not responding or responding very infrequently, then I would back off. (P.S. I am in the same boat with a friend. Good luck!)
CJ when i text him in the mornings from 7:47am - 8:30am he would reply straight away. the last txt convo i had with him is me: "how are u" him: "good", on his last msg he would say something like "i'm gonna work now, we will talk later" i would say something like "that would be great. cyas :)" on my first txt after he gave me his number i said "i just got to work safety, hope u have a great day" n he would reply "thanks"
he's the most politeful friend i'm getting to know ever. he would tell me to take a seat. i've had fantasies about him n i. he goes to the gym. if i txt during the night he would reply in the morning. i would like to have lunch/coffee meet with him soon. me n this guy have 6 things in common.
thanks CJ, good luck to U too