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Seeing Rejection for What it Really Is (and What it Isn't)

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A golden egg amidst white eggs symbolizing that differences does not equate to rejection.
It's not rejection - it's just two different pages.

I was just five years old when I had my first hard lesson in rejection.

I was about to lose my first tooth and I was so excited to share this experience with my best friend Sarah, so I called her house to tell her.

She was excited too.

Then a few minutes later, as it became even more loose and felt like it might fall out, I called her again to tell her about this very important (at least to two five year olds) update. She once again shared in my excitement.

Then, a few minutes later, it fell out. And so I called her again to tell her this big news.

But this time when her mother answered she was not nearly as excited as her daughter and I were. In fact, before I could get a word in, she told me to stop calling. To say that I was devastated is putting it mildly. My little 5 year old world was absolutely shattered beyond recognition.

Why do I remember this story like it was yesterday?

Why do I now, as I recount the story, still feel like that little 5 year old girl standing on a chair to reach the wall-mounted phone, so excited to share her life event with her best friend, only to be utterly devastated by such an unexpected response?Continue Reading

The Confidence We Were Never Given

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A beautiful young woman is figure skating, building her confidence and enjoying her passion.
It's time to let your light shine!

I've recently taken up ice skating again.

You may remember this post where I mention my aspirations to become a professional figure skater as a young girl. I rediscovered my love of ice skating in my late twenties during my own personal quest to find my passions and create the life I always wanted – and rediscovered the little girl with such big dreams in the process.

As happens with life sometimes, the ice skates went into a box and got put in the back of the closet along with a lot of other things while more pressing priorities (like raising small children) took over the forefront of my life.

But now, I'm happy to say, they're once again seeing not only the light of day, but the beautiful cold smoothness of the ice once again. This time around I'm skating with my kids, and it's an amazingly enjoyable activity for me to do with them.

Whenever the music's playing over the sound system, the disco lights are flashing and I'm gliding over the freshly cleaned ice, I get that feeling like the world's my oyster once again.

Like anything is possible.

And that feeling is the exact reason why I’m always encouraging you to find a form of creative expression that speaks to you. Something you love and can feel passionate about. When you discover this for yourself, you’ll know exactly why!

But that's not what this post is about.

Continue Reading

Am I Not Meant to Find Love?

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A drawing depicting a man and a woman getting married against a white background with a red slash through it symbolizing she is not meant to find love.
I always wanted a husband and family, but what if it's not meant for me?

One of our beautiful readers, Annie, is heartbroken after a recent break up, and is questioning whether she's just not meant to ever be in a loving relationship.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

It's been less than two months when I broke up with my ex who lied to me just about everything and cheated on me with number of people. In fact the 10 months he made me believe he loved me, he never did while I was in love with him.

He was honestly the worst person I've met. He broke my heart, took an advantage of me and it still hurts a lot.

Since then I have slowly started healing but this break up has made me almost lose hope sometimes.

I'm 35 almost 36 and not getting any younger.

I have also met not only one but many wrong guys and although some people always say I'm a relationship type person I seem to be alone year after year.

The last relationship being the tip of the ice berg of him taking advantage of me, of wrong person since I had been alone for a very long time before that also only having short 3 month things with other wrong people.

He chose wrong and it was unfair 'cause I am not like the others.

I'd rather be alone and happy than be trying to find someone through online dating or going to nightclubs and bars to look for someone. I don't need someone to hug me just for fun. If I ever meet someone it is because we share something in our hearts and that now brings me to question my life.

What if I am just not the relationship type of person?Continue Reading

The Advice You Won't Hear Anywhere Else

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Among all the voices that say "leave him", "dump him", etc., there lies the reality of you.

The loving, giving beautiful soul you are that knows exactly what you "should" do. They make it sound so simple, but it doesn't feel anything like simple to you. It feels heartbreaking, and so very sad, and not at all what you want to do.

How do I just walk away from someone I love?

Yes, exactly. How do any of us? It's the question you want to know the answer to.

Oh your friends have so much advice for you. In fact, even complete strangers only have to hear a few minutes of your situation before they have the same advice to offer you. How can you stay with someone who gives you so little of his time? How can you want to be with someone who can't give you a straight answer as to when, let alone if, he might someday be ready to commit to you?

They  make it sound so easy, so simple, but to you with so much of your heart, your life and your time invested, it's anything but easy.

In fact, it's the hardest thing you ever tried to do.

And how can it not be? He promised so much. He gave you so many reasons to believe. He made you feel like he was on the same page as you. He talked about the same things. He said he wanted the same things.

He made you feel like all that was missing was you.Continue Reading

Small Changes, Big Differences

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2015 is your year for finding love.
Let's make 2015 the year to have the kind of love you want!

Welcome to 2015, gorgeous! I hope that you had a wonderful holiday season celebrating love, joy, and abundance in whatever method you've chosen for your life.

As you know, I love the feeling of freshness, change and the endless possibilities for positive transformation that the idea of a new year brings.

But as much as I’ll always be the eternal optimist, I've also come to see the necessity of bringing in that realist perspective as well, and so I know that this idea of making huge changes in our lives all at once can seem overwhelming and a bit daunting.

And it also sets us up for one thing, and one thing only:

Failure.

So today I want to give you a few thoughts that will help you avoid failure this year by changing your mindset right from the start.

The key to any kind of lasting change is something that you've heard me talk about a lot here on the blog:Continue Reading

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