I tend to live in the heart. On the emotional side of life.
Like so many of us, I feel so much. I experience so much on that emotional level, and I love to connect with so many people, to connect with their energy and with what they’re going through. It took me a long time to accept this as my own reality, and with that acceptance came the clarity that allowed me to start seeing the truth instead of the lies that I was mistakenly believing as the truth.
I started to recognize when living this way was serving my life and when it wasn't. And when it wasn't serving my life, once I could recognize that, I was able to make small changes to get myself back on track.
You see, my beautiful friend, while I’m the first to say to follow your heart, love with abandon, follow your dream, I also know that for those of us who only know how to do that, and wind up getting burned in the process time and time again, there’s a little piece I’m adding just for you.
Bring your head along, too!
Because there’s a balance here. Keep your beautiful, soft, open heart. Keep that beautiful emotional side of you. But bring the practical side that your head holds too.
So when he doesn't call or text or skype, you don’t take it personally; you see it for what it is.
Not a reflection of you, not a rejection of you; in fact nothing personal at all about you! But about him and where he’s at.
While your heart is wondering what you did wrong, your head gently reminds you that you don’t want someone who doesn't want to call you.
So when he tells you he doesn't want a commitment, you can make a decision that’s based on reality, not fantasy.
While the part of you that lives in the heart wants to believe so much in the potential of what you think he could be, your head reminds you to believe what he's saying the first time.
We can hang on for longer than most living on those little crumbs of what if? And we can see what we want to see even though we’re the only one seeing it. But in the process, we only hurt ourselves and bring ourselves down to a level that’s never where we belong. Your head will remind you to see it for what it really is - two people on two different pages. That's all it is - it's nothing personal.
So when he disappears, you don’t go searching for him.
Your heart wonders what you did to drive him away, and wonders what you can do to get him back and get back to the way things were. Your head quietly points out that he's actually been gone for a while, and that it really wasn't as good as you remember it being.
Do you see what’s going on, my beautiful friend?
You need both.
That beautiful open-hearted emotional side of you that believes and connects and feels and loves with abandon. And you need at least a little of that practical, logical side of you that provides the reality check that says “you don’t really know him well enough yet” or “it might feel like great chemistry, but you’re just not compatible” or “ this isn't about you; it’s about him”.
You know, all the stuff our soft hearts used to learn the hard way.