No, that’s not a typo. It’s not a place we’re talking about, it’s a person.
You.
You know all those things we keep aspiring to be? All those places we keep aspiring to get to in our level of awareness? All those parts of ourselves we’re working on and trying so hard to overcome? All those things we’re constantly beating ourselves up about and trying to do differently?
That perfect version of ourselves that we're struggling to become.
What if you were already her? We do such damage to ourselves when we’re so hard on ourselves, berating ourselves for all the things we should have done differently, should have known better, should have seen coming, if only we were already there! But what if you were?
What if you already have everything you need to know within yourself, what if within you was everything you needed to be that beautiful, confident woman you want to be? To be that beacon radiating out your beautiful essence of who you truly are. What if all that was missing was simply for you to realize this to fill in that one missing piece?
You!
You see, I received a letter recently from one of our readers who was telling me of a trip she’s taking to a place where I had lived for a while. The memory of this place came crashing back to me, and along with it came the memory that the entire time I lived there it was for one reason and one reason only: to try to convince someone of my worth and why he should choose me.
For almost three long years that was my one and only purpose in life until I finally realized I couldn't make him love me the way I dreamed our future could be if only he would realize it, too.
The experience left my self-esteem and self-confidence in tatters. The memory got me thinking about what I would have done so differently now if only I had realized all that I've learned -and lived- since then.
I now know that I had it all within me even back then, I just hadn't realized it.
And that’s why I’m here to remind you of what you might not realize either.
Be that woman.
Be the woman who’s so confident, who’s so sure of herself and her power. What’s keeping you from seeing that? What’s keeping you from believing that? What’s holding you back from living like her? What’s stopping you from giving yourself permission to be her? Who are you allowing to hold this kind of power over you? Who are you letting define you and limit who you can be and what you can do?
You’re her, my beautiful friend. She’s already there.
Release her; release the you that you know is in there, and go out and create that beautiful life that’s just waiting for you to embrace it. It’s full of all the love in the world that’s ever been there for you, but it only begins when you tap into that overflowing cup of self-love for your true, beautiful self.
You can do this. You know you are this. You might not recognize her when you first catch a glimpse of her when she steps out like this, but trust me, you know her already.
She’s YOU!
Yes you are "her" only some moments in your life
You can not see this or feel it.
I have the freedom to create my life and live it.
But sometimes I go a little to far in trying to be something. I dream then; when I get there
Then every thing will be perfect and I will be happy. For example i am trying to loose weight.
Should I just make myself crazy till I have the "perfect" number
On the scale. What a waist of energy and life experiences.
Accepting the moment. Accepting that this is it today, this is me. And not waiting and
Struggeling for the "perfect" moment.
I can be happy now, why struggle so much for the "perfect" moment.
This article just reminds me !
Exactly, Maris; like all of us, we get this just a little more on some days than we do on other days, but it's the reminder that it's only our thinking - or our feelings - that change from day to day, not the reality of what we actually are! 🙂
The more you can be delighted with yourself the better
Love your use of the word "delighted" here, Jackie; because when you're "delighted" with yourself, this creates such a beautiful picture in your mind's eye of the YOU that you truly are!
I came across an article on TinyBuddha about what our attractions mean about us and it's where I got the word delighted from. Alot of the time when we are mesmerized by another person it's often that they are embodying qualities we love about ourselves but can't admit to consciously. Or they have developed qualities which we have too but have failed to notice and cultivate. So instead of being delighted in the person, work on being that way for oneself. Not from vanity but more from genuine self-confidence and being able to enter into a relationship that is balanced and equal. Many relationships I have seen where the power dynamic is heavily in favor of one person, often have problems, including the less powerful person feeling a blow to self-esteem easily caused by the other.
"So instead of being delighted in the person, work on being that way for oneself" - Exactly, Jackie; thanks for sharing!
Jane, thank you very much for your help. I have spent the last four years rebounding from a seven year relationship with someone with whom I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life. In the excruciating months that followed, I recognized that the foundation on which I had built our relationship was a sandy quicksand formed by a troubled childhood that I had never properly dealt with. I then proceeded to begin the long and painful process of cleaning up my life. While I knew it was a gradual process and that there would not be a single ah - ha moment where I knew I was finished, I was curious how I would know when I was healed. You gave me the present of an ah - ha moment I was not expecting. Once you're healthy enough to recognize you're healthy, you're there. I'm already her. It's just a decision. Now I get to live. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing your story, Ellen. I'm so glad this resonated with you - to give you that "aha" moment - just where you are, just when you needed it! "Now I get to live" - Yes! You've got it! 🙂
Thank you Jane. This is Soooo true. We are wonderful women. We know right from wrong. We know what we want from life. If only we would begin to live that life on our own. Just think how many of the RIGHT people would be attracted to us, because the WRONG people would be too intimidated to approach us. WE would seem to have it all together and THEY only want women who can be easily misled and manipulated. I wish we could protect women from being manipulated and misled, but it is never too late. Start right now, today. This is the first day of the rest of your life. BE smart. LOOK good. THINK before you act. LEARN to say NO. TREAT yourself well and don't let anyone disrespect you. GO to all the places you ever wanted to go. DO all the things you ever wanted to do. You will definitely feel a whole lot better when you learn to love YOU.
Exactly, Carolyn; I love how you put this!