A New Perspective on Valentine's Day

It’s the day I remember all too well. As the entourage of flower and hearts and candy deliveries made their way into the office, the most I could usually hope for was my own Valentine’s bouquet sent from my well-meaning Mom (thanks Mom!)

Or it was a beautiful show of flowers from someone I was with that knew how to do all the surface things, but anything deeper than that was a whole different story.

But what I came to realize over the years, was that typically all of the fanfare hid the fact that there was very little depth behind these outward shows of affection. That the show of roses was about an expectation that’s come to be associated with this holiday, but doesn't necessarily show the real love of a real heart of a real man.

It can be symbolic, but all too often we come to compare our own lack of flowers and chocolates and fancy dinner's at the hottest Valentine's Day spot as just that: something we’re missing. And while we may be missing someone special in our lives on this particular day, it does nothing for us to compare ourselves to those other women who seemingly have something that we don’t.

They most likely don’t.

The reality is that many of those seemingly wonderful relationships that for appearances sake seem to hold everything we long for, are not anything we would truly want. Because on the surface it’s easy for it to seem like everyone else is in a great relationship; that everyone else is happily involved with someone; that everyone else has figured out how to do relationships.

Everyone except us.

And the more we buy into that, the more we focus on everyone else, the farther away we get from ourselves. The real truth is that everyone has their own story, and for every relationship that appears to be blissful, for every couple that seems to be perfect together, for every love that seems to be the eternal kind, there is often a loneliness that we never hear about. Another side of the story that never reveals itself except behind closed doors.

Know your magic.

So while you stand on the outside looking in, thinking everyone possesses some kind of magic except for you, I invite you to come in and see your own magic. Those very special things about you that would tantalize that special man who is looking on the outside as well today, looking for exactly who you are.

We can get so caught up in what everyone else has that we fail to see what we have. What we are. We forget that there is a loneliness even more lonely than what we feel; the kind that’s found in a relationship with someone who has his own reasons for staying, but none of them involve real love. Any woman can wait to be chosen; it takes a woman who knows exactly what she wants and deserves to choose to be with someone who is truly deserving of her.

And whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year, it’s all about having that attitude; knowing that you never need to settle for anything less than the heart of a real man who is pursuing you, who is on the same page as you, who wants what you want, and isn't afraid to be fully present in that relationship with you.

You, my beautiful friend, deserve nothing less than that, every single day of the year!