Archives for December 2012

I could go on and on. And sometimes I do. Because this one is just that important. It's not about the gifts we give everyone else. It's not about the time we spend looking for that perfect gift for someone else. It's not about anything tangible. It's about you and what you deserve more than anything else in the world. Not just during this holiday season. But every day of the year.

To be loved.

We can't control who loves us, and all too often, we find ourselves with a deep longing to be loved by someone who isn't capable of giving us the love we are looking for from them. But at some point along this journey, we discover that it isn't just about a love that comes from outside of ourselves. It's about a love that comes from within. A love within ourselves that encompasses every dark place within us that doesn't yet understand that there is nothing within us that doesn't deserve to be loved.

We forget that it is in the embrace of our true selves that we find that love we are searching for. It is when we can finally stop beating ourselves up and stop focusing on what is wrong with us that we can finally move on to everything that is right with us. It's such a simple thing, but for so many of us who have had to work so hard to convince someone of our worth, it is anything but simple.

It's about a shift in consciousness.

It begins with an openness to seeing things differently, to being open to hearing something different. Then, it progresses to a gradual change within our level of consciousness to where we finally see that this isn't about getting someone to fall in love with us, to love us the way we've been longing to be loved our whole lives. Instead, it's about understanding that we don't have to do anything to be loved; it's about embracing all that we are and looking deep inside to see if anything needs to change within ourselves so that we can shine through as the person we really are.

So we accept our strengths and our weaknesses; we decide what we want more of and what we could use less of, and we take steps to make those positive changes to bring out the best in ourselves. And then, with practice, with focusing on ourselves like this, we learn more about what we are capable of, what we want to do, what we enjoy and what makes us feel truly alive. We learn more about what we don't want, what we don't need.

We learn about what we are no longer willing to settle for.

And somewhere along the way, we realize this has so much more to do with us and our way of thinking than it has to do with any him. And that's when we suddenly find ourselves liking who we see in the mirror. She's not perfect, but we're able to see past all those things we used to loathe and actually begin to like what we see and see the potential in ourselves for once, and not in another him. And as this becomes a new way of seeing ourselves, with gentleness and acceptance where once there was only loathing and judgment, we begin to attract and start attracting something different. We can see past the man who says and does all the right things, but has no substance to his charm. And we can finally accept someone who actually treats us like gold.

That's the kind of love that is waiting for you, my beautiful friend; when you discover where it all begins, at that place of you and your heart with a love for yourself and all that you are like you never knew before.