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He Says He Wants to Take It Slow

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Speedometer showing too fast signifying a relationship.
Are we moving too fast?

Beautiful Ollie writes in to tell her story of her boyfriend who came on very strong in the beginning, but now wants to take a step back and slow things down.

Here's what she wrote:

I am a single mum of an 8 year old.

I met this guy for a coffee 2 months ago (we're both in our late 40's). We talked for hours, I never felt so comfortable and connected with someone, it was incredible.

The same afternoon, he came over to my place (I invited him) to show me some of his legal documents as he is in the middle of fighting custody of his children with his ex and I work in the legal area. He just needed to understand some forms.

While I was going through the documents, he played with my daughter. They had a blast together.

For the following days, he would text me first thing in the morning, ring me midday to see how my day was going, texting me before going to bed for a chat and goodnight. He popped by once or twice a week to say 'hi', play with my kid and have coffee with me.Continue Reading

First He Pursued, Then He Dropped Me Like a Hot Brick

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
I opened my heart to this man.

Today I’ll be answering a question that beautiful Jenny sent in. She tells her heart wrenching story of betrayal from a guy who pursued her, told her everything she wanted to hear, only to suddenly pull away, growing cold and distant.

So what happened?

Here's her story:

OK, well here I am in my late forties and I was discarded by my husband three years ago. Devastation followed.

Two men since that and they were not the right ones for me as they eroded my self-esteem hugely so I ended it with both of them. I recently lost everything, my home, job, financial status due to my ex-husbands stupidity and running away leaving, me to deal with everything.

The guy who moved me warmed to me instantly, we seemed to have a connection right from the start.Continue Reading

I'm Having a Hard Time Moving On

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I know I need to let go, but it's hard to move on.

The letter this week comes from our gorgeous friend Gigi, who's finding it hard to move on and let go of a guy she felt she had immediate physical chemistry with.

Here's her story:

I began dating a man right before Christmas.

We both agreed to just see where things went, but we had an immediate physical chemistry. So we had sex on the second date.

We saw each other three to four times a week for HOURS at a time. Not always sex, so I began to really like him.

Then I asked him if he was seeing anyone else because I wanted to make sure we were still on equal footing. He said he was and assumed I was. I told him that I was communicating with other men, but had not actually gone on any dates with them. I assumed this was a casual date or two with this other woman because he said he wasn't in a place to get exclusive as he was trying to find a new job.

For two weeks I continued to see him and sleep with him- basically hoping he would choose me. I got needy and wondered if he was with her...tried not to mention it to him, but I"m sure it was obvious by my moods.

He told me that we needed to stop having sex because it was messing with my mind. He didn't think it was right. Then he said it wasn't fair to HER to go out with her and then come home to me. He had taken HER to parties and out with his friends and his grown kids.

I felt like a slut.Continue Reading

How Do I Get Him Back?

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Lonely woman missing her boyfriend while swinging in the park in the morning
I just want it back the way it was.

There's nothing more heart wrenching, more gut wrenching, than hearing from you when you’ve lost him, when he’s gone. There's nothing that speaks more to my heart and to the heart of every other woman who’s been there before. It all comes back.

The longing.

The trying.

The hoping.

The planning.

The desperate attempts to get him back.

But what if we could attempt it without being desperate? What if we could draw strength from who we are, from everything we know we could be if only our anxiousness and desperation didn’t get in the way?

What if we could pick ourselves up, dust ourselves up, take that deep breath and resolve to do it differently this time around?Continue Reading

I'm Afraid He'll Keep Making Excuses and Never Commit

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
I'm afraid he'll keep making excuses and won't ever commit!

One of our gorgeous new readers, Beverley, tells us her story about her long term boyfriend first wanting to move in together, but then changing his mind and pulling away. She's wondering if he'll ever commit.

Her Question:

Hi Jane,

I have stumbled across your page by chance but is extremely relevant to where I'm at in my relationship at the moment.

I just read "3 Biggest Warning Signs He'll NEVER Commit" and I'm worried. I have been with my boyfriend for coming up on 3 years now.  I am 27 and he is 25. I am a little confused as to where to start with my concerns as there are a number of mitigating factors in what has gotten us to where we are (that being nowhere).Continue Reading

Never Her; YOU!

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Portrait of young happy woman in front of couple embracing each other
What does she have that I don't have?

It wasn’t the first time it happened.

He told me I was everything he wanted in a woman. He went so far as calling me the perfect woman for him. And then he chose her.

Her.

The first time it happened, I was naïve. So naïve.

Unbeknownst to me, I still had so much to learn. He told me he couldn’t believe his luck that he found me. The more we talked, the more in depth we got, the more we got to know each other, the more I was sure that I had found my soul mate.

Naïve, I know.

But what was even more significant was that right around the time we were getting to know each other on such a deep level, he confided to me that there was another woman who he was interested in.  I was devastated.

What did she have that I didn’t?Continue Reading

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