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Something You Need Right Now

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A beautiful woman sits on a beach looking sad because her ex has moved on.
I want to change this for you today.

I love meeting you and hearing your stories.

Most of the women I work with are some of the most beautiful, successful, extraordinary women I've ever met who are all carrying around with them a secret they don't want anyone to know.

Their secret?

They don't feel that strong.

More often than not, they're crying behind their smiles.

Life hasn't been what it was supposed to be for them.

Sure, they're got a lot to show for their time here so far. And yes, they've had all kinds of experiences and accomplished all kinds of things along the way.Continue Reading

Yes, You Have One Too.

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A beautiful woman sits on a beach thinking about her absentee boyfriend, wondering why she loves him so much.
You won't know where it is until it's been crossed.

You have a line.

We all do.

I don't know where yours is, but somewhere along the way, you'll find it.

It hasn't been crossed yet or you would know, because something would be different. Nothing would be the same.

It wakes us up. It brings our excuses to a halt. It brings out a side of us we've never known before.

It's your boundary. Your line in the sand. The one thing you won't stand for.

You won't know you have it until it's so clearly right there in front of you.

And then, even if you don't think you have the strength or resolve to stand, you will. Even if the conscious part of you can't do it, your subconscious will.Continue Reading

It's the Opposite of What We Think

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Beautiful young woman with long hair lying on the grass
What if you could look at it another way?

We look around and we see so much of what our culture calls strength among our friends, our colleagues, our role models, almost everyone it seems. They let things roll off them, they don’t take everything so personally, they walk away without looking back.

They make everything  look so much easier than the way it feels to us.

The way it feels to us.

It’s this part of us that gets the least amount of validation from the world around us and the people who are the least like us. In a world where success is evaluated by the measurable things that have nothing to do with our hearts, it’s no wonder we can feel so wrong, so misplaced, so counter to what we feel so otherwise pressured to be.Continue Reading

There's A Reason

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A woman sits on a couch writing on her laptop, looking for dating advice.
When you reach out to me, there’s a reason - even if you don't know it yet.

Last Friday’s post generated a lot of valuable conversations! I want to thank each and every one of you for having the courage to speak up and say what it brought up for you. Now you have something more to work with that you didn't have before!

What did I mean about the difference between following someone else’s advice or particular rules, and making them one’s own? Why was there so much confusion about this vagueness, and why is it actually a very good thing?

Well, let me first back up.

When you reach out to me, there’s a reason. You know there’s something you need, and even though you don’t know what that is, you sense you’re close to an answer and just need that personal response to get it.Continue Reading

Stop. Relax. Breathe. It's All Going to Be OK.

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Woman sitting and relaxing in a field, looking at the sun.
Sometimes you just need to pause, breathe, and take a step back.

What would it be like if you could feel something, but not act on it?

What would it mean for you if you could observe without jumping into action right away?

What if you could see who someone was, how they were treating you, and how they responded to you without having to do something – anything – about it right that moment?

Would you feel more confident? Would you feel more in control? Would you feel more able to see what was real – and what wasn’t?

This year, I have a word for your New Year’s Resolution.

Instead of the usual full throttle, over the top resolve that we usually put on ourselves at the first of the year. Instead of setting ourselves up for failure with some kind of impossible goal that always seems to run its course in a matter of weeks and then fall off our radar.

No, this time we’re going for a simple word:Continue Reading

The Strength / Weakness Deception

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A whiteboard with a hand writing strength and weakness, crossing out weakness.
What if you’re the strong one for giving love a chance?

You’re calling him strong, and yourself weak.

You’re looking at him as being so strong that he can walk away as easily as he does, and then yourself as weak for not being able to do the same. You think he’s strong. You think of yourself as weak.

Because you need him. And he doesn’t need you.

So you equate that with your being the needy one, the weak one who needs someone.

And the ones who don’t need anyone, you call them strong.Continue Reading

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