Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

You are here: Home / Archives for hard on yourself

I lived this way for years

2 Comments

Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I tried so hard.

I don't know who told you being single is your punishment for something you did in your past but I do know this; they were wrong.

Who you've been and what you've done is about what you thought you had to do to be loved.

Everything you did - no matter how much you know better now - was about getting someone to love you. Even if you didn't know that back then, even if you're beating yourself up now, holding yourself to some standard of perfection you could never have lived up to back then, this still isn't about some punishment you're wearing like an albatross around your neck!

I lived this way for years. Trying so hard to make the hardest cases to crack actually love me.

I measured my worth by them. The irony was, they had no clue how to love, they couldn't even love themselves, let alone someone with as much light and love as me.Continue Reading

Yes, you.

12 Comments

A beautiful woman stands, looking downward, in front of a red brick wall.
It's time to give yourself the compassion you give others.

If last night was another night you couldn't sleep because of something you said or did that you can't let go of (because of how messed up everything became after the fact), it's time you had some grace and compassion and understanding for you.

Yes, you.

See, you have it for everyone else. You go out of your way to excuse and understand and see the best in and give everyone else you're invested in, the benefit of the doubt. But for you, it's a different story.

There's no compassion or grace in the way you look at your imperfections. There's only judgement and disdain for how you look upon what you should have known better and should have done differently instead of what you did.

So when he called you out on the very thing you were trying to prevent, when he turned it on you because you were trying so hard to be perfect you forgot you were human, too, it only added insult to injury on how you were already feeling about yourself.

Let it go.Continue Reading

That thing you said. That thing you did.

20 Comments

A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
You just can't let it go.

You can't sleep.

It's that thing you said. It's that thing you did.

You can't let it go.

And it's not just what you said or did; it's how messed up everything became after.

You beat yourself up. Again.

You think about apologizing for the bazillionth time. Again.

If you could put a finger on it, you'd realize what you really can't let go of isn't really that thing you said or did; it's that all you want is for someone to just, for once, have some grace and compassion and understanding for you.

Yes, you.Continue Reading

What if You CAN'T Let Go?

17 Comments

A beautiful woman is sad because she's spending the holidays alone.
Sometimes the quick fix just doesn't work.

What if you don't let go?

What if you don't get over it?

What if you don't get over him?

You say you have to, that THEY say you have to, that it's in your best interest.

But what about you?

You know why so many women and men find me after they've been through all the advice and heard all the shoulds of what they're supposed to do, only to find it's not working for them?

Because the quick fix, get over him, block him, let go, move on type of advice only works if you're actually there yourself.

Otherwise, you're left with one big gaping hole in your heart, because all you’ve done is follow the instruction of someone who was never you, who's never known what it's like to be your own heart and soul.Continue Reading

Pick One Thing

1 Comment

A beautiful woman walks down a path, representing different choices in her relationships.
There are so many different roads to the same place.

Anyone need a little hope today?

Because there's no feeling of hope when you're in the thick of it. Not when it feels like nothing is ever going to get better because you can't get past every little mistake you made, every wrong path, every choice you should have made so differently.

That's the only thing that's clear when you're here.

Every choice you made that you regret making because of where it led, every "mistake" you think you made, every thing you ever did that gave you a different outcome than the one you wanted that path to lead to, makes it's so hard to believe that it's BECAUSE of those things that you're going to get to a different place that's actually the place you want to be!

But that's exactly my point.

See, there are so many different roads to the same place. Pick one, any one.

Pick the one that makes the most sense to you right now. Or pick the one that your heart tells you to right now.Continue Reading

Panic Attacks

4 Comments

A beautiful woman has her eyes closed representing a panic attack.
Her words brought it all rushing back to me.

I had my first panic attack when I was 18.

It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was the passenger in a car of girls driving back from my girlfriend’s family home in Northern California on the 5 Freeway, along with everyone else headed back to SoCal post holiday.

I was living in Southern California at the time, attending Biola University, on a PK (Pastor’s kid) scholarship. My own family celebrated our Canadian Thanksgiving a month earlier, so my friend had included me in her family plans.

The girl in the backseat who was carpooling with us – she was a childhood friend of my new friend and lived around the corner from her although she went to a different SoCal university, she picked up on who I was immediately.Continue Reading

Latest Tweets

Recent Comments

Calendar

May 2025
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031