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Am I overreacting?

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Beautiful-woman-snow-contemplative
I'm not sure if I'm over-reacting but I do feel hurt.

Our letter today comes from Angie, who's wondering if she's overreacting to hearing her newly widowed boyfriend isn't ready to include her in his family holiday plans. Here's what she wrote to me:

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I'm a 48 year old woman dating a 50 year old widow (his wife passed 2 years ago).  I have been dating him for 7 months.

I have only met his teen kids once (despite him being at my house a lot with my teen kids). He mentioned Christmas and that he won't see me as he will go to his parents house with his kids for both Christmas Eve/Christmas Day (which I am ok with).

He also said I won't see him on his birthday, December 28th as it's his birthday and he will spend it with his kids.  He will visit me early evening and stay over.

I'm not sure if I'm over-reacting but I do feel hurt about his birthday - it feels as though he just wants to keep me away from his kids - but then turns up to spend the evening with me.  He is kind and loving to me and always call/texts etc.

Signed,

- AngieContinue Reading

Your First Step to a New Start

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A beautiful woman stands at a starting line trying to get the courage to start
Getting started is often the most difficult part of all.

What do we have after the last of the Christmas gifts are unwrapped?

A new resolve. A new determination. Empowered by what we didn’t get but how we survived anyway, we’re emboldened to blaze a new trail and finally find what we missed or didn’t get with the passing of the old.

And so in this week between Christmas and the New Year, we’re filled with a time of reflection of what was and didn’t work and what will soon be the opportunity for everything to be fresh and new and different again.

For those of us without plans for the New Year, or at least New Year’s Eve, we scramble to start making some.

I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to DO something. I want MORE.

And the coming New Year with it’s New Year’s resolutions will give us that chance to do exactly that.Continue Reading

5 Simple Tips for Dating During the Holidays

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Beautiful sad woman having difficulties with dating during the holidays.
I longed for someone to spend the holidays with. Did dating during the holidays really have to be like this?

It’s that time of year again. For those of us in the happiest of relationships, with families and friends and all kinds of places to go and things to do, we get why the song says “it’s the most wonderful time of the year.” 

But there was a time not too long ago when this wasn’t at all how it felt for me.

When all my friends who had those things – those people, those relationships, that special romance – in their lives, seemed such a contrast to what I had.

While I may have had the most beautiful hopes and dreams, what I didn’t have was anything real.

Someone real. Someone to share the holidays with. Someone to experience the holidays with. Someone to make it the most wonderful time of the year for me.Continue Reading

A Christmas Wish

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My wish for you this year is the same wish I always have, which is that you will realize just how much worth you really do have, how much you deserve and that you will know that what you attract into your life is all about how much you really feel this about yourselfIt's Christmas. And it's been awhile since you've heard from me. I've been down with the worst flu I think I've ever had, and we've traveled 14 hours on the road to celebrate Christmas with extended family, which is why I haven't posted in while. But although my energies have been focused elsewhere for the past week, you have all been in my thoughts and my heart along the way.

I wanted to let you all know that I am so grateful for each and every one of you who allow me to inspire, support and encourage you, and make whatever small contribution I can toward making your life and this world a better place for everyone.

My wish for you this year is the same wish I always have; that you will realize just how much worth you really do have, how much you deserve and that you will know that what you attract into your life is all about how much you really feel this about yourself and understand that it is true!  And in believing in yourself this way, in understanding that you really do have so much to offer, so much to give, you will show someone how to treat you, and you let them know what is required of them to be in a relationship with you.

Because this Christmas, wherever you are, whatever you're going through, whatever you happen to be feeling right now, this moment is about you. And what you make of it, what you choose to do with it, is entirely up to you. You, my beautiful friend, are worth so much and deserve all the best love and life have to offer you. May you see that love reflected back at you wherever you are today.

Merry Christmas!

Love,

Jane

My Christmas Wish for You

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Beautiful woman opening gift during the holidays.
This is the gift I want you to have.

I have a confession to make.

I’m the one who starts crying (OK, I have to admit sometimes I’m actually bawling) at some of the Christmas songs playing this time of year.

Maybe it’s because they bring back such memories of more than just time and places and experiences, but of actual emotions, and the feelings I had, whether it be happy, sad, excited, when these particular songs were playing.

Times that now only exist in the back room of my mind, and are brought out and dusted off for a fresh new look by my current self, whether I want to look or not.

Baby, Please Come Home for Christmas – my favorite version is the one by Bon Jovi (being the true 80’s girl that I am – hey, in Canada the 80’s didn’t happen until the 90’s, so it’s not that far off!). Continue Reading

The Top 6 Things You Can Do to Survive the Holidays When You’re Single

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A beautiful woman is sad because she's spending the holidays alone.
I know what it's like to be alone during the holidays.

I remember how excited I would be if I met someone who showed some real relationship potential in the months or even weeks leading up to the holiday season.

Finally! This Christmas I might actually be a part of a relationship - a couple!

I might actually have someone to show up with me for the office holiday party and family Christmas gathering! Someone to exchange romantic gifts with and to snuggle with in the cold nights; to kiss under the mistletoe.

And the best part was that I’d have someone to spend New Year’s Eve with – it wouldn’t just be another year with me babysitting my nephews so my sister and her husband could celebrate their togetherness (as much as I loved being Auntie Jane, seriously - they could find another babysitter for one night!)

But most years the timing didn’t work out and I was, once again, alone for the holidays.Continue Reading

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