Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
You've always known.
What everyone says don't worry about. What everyone tries to shame you about. What everyone calls you crazy for.
It's actually the opposite, isn't it?
You're the one who's always known what's really going on.
You knew before he left.
You knew before he cheated.
You knew before he checked out.
You knew.Continue Reading
You know when it happens for you, Beautiful? The moment right after you think it won't.
The very next moment after you think all hope is lost, that nothing's ever going to change for you, that you're simply destined to be alone forever, that you're simply one of the unlucky ones and that's never going to change.
That's when.
We think we'll know when we're getting close. That we'll somehow hear that voice along the way that tells us it's right around the corner.
But, Beautiful, it doesn't happen like that. Right up to the moment right before you know for sure, you won't believe anything could possibly be any different.
Until it is.
I hear this all the time.Continue Reading
I took my own advice.
I poured my heartbreak into something that needed me; someone that needed me. A dog who was labeled with severe separation anxiety; rescued from a shelter that couldn’t keep her.
And then I noticed something so similar to what I notice with you.
You’re not your label. You’re not what you’re telling yourself you are. You’re not your story.
You’re not the self-fulfilling prophecy you’ve made your life because you were with all the wrong people and all the wrong environments that only reinforced this inherent belief system in you.
In psychology, we call this confirmation bias.
We’re given a label. We’re told a story about ourselves. And then once it’s been positively reinforced often enough, we go looking for evidence to confirm that same label, that same story, that same narrative that’s become our truth.Continue Reading
I had my first panic attack when I was 18.
It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was the passenger in a car of girls driving back from my girlfriend’s family home in Northern California on the 5 Freeway, along with everyone else headed back to SoCal post holiday.
I was living in Southern California at the time, attending Biola University, on a PK (Pastor’s kid) scholarship. My own family celebrated our Canadian Thanksgiving a month earlier, so my friend had included me in her family plans.
The girl in the backseat who was carpooling with us – she was a childhood friend of my new friend and lived around the corner from her although she went to a different SoCal university, she picked up on who I was immediately.Continue Reading
You’ve been told so many things.
You’ve been told who to be. You’ve been told what to say. And you’ve been told that it all matters IF you want to find love.
You’ve been told so many stories so that you’d see why someone else knows so much more than you do. You’ve been told to trust, to have faith, to listen to what someone else knows.
After all, you’re single, right? Or worse, you’re in love with an emotionally unavailable man who can’t seem to commit. Or maybe you’re involved with a married man who can’t seem to give you anything more than empty promises.
But whatever your situation, there’s one thing you’ve got in common with everyone else who’ve been told all these things; you’re scared. Underneath the hurt, the anger, the frustration, the pain, you’re afraid it’s never going to happen again.
You’re afraid it’s never going to change.Continue Reading
You’ve tried them all.
You go from place to place, looking, searching for the one thing that will be your magic answer. You search the world over for the one thing, the one person, the one magical formula that will finally make everything right in your world.
You may not know exactly what it is you need, but you think you might.
You think it’s found in the idea of the perfect man for you, or the idea of the perfect job or career for you, or the perfect location, or the perfect body, or the perfect house, or the perfect family, or whatever your particular perfect thing may be.
Except that you’ve tried so many things already, and nothing lasted for long. The feeling of everything finally being right in the world was temporary – fleeting – until it was no more.Continue Reading
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