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Don't accept this!

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A beautiful woman is holding her head in her hands wondering if her boyfriend who has commitment issues is just playing games or if he wants a committed relationship.
I feel like I wasn't good enough.

I'm speaking to every one of you today who's ever been left by some guy who was NEVER good enough for you.

Stop with the "I wasn't good enough", "He's thrown me away", and everything else we say.

No, you haven't been discarded, girl. Don't accept that as your verdict!

You were saved from being with someone who would NEVER have been the one for you unless you were someone else. So choose to either change to be that someone else - or embrace who you already are and accept that you can't make someone want to be with you who isn't looking for you!

This isn't a "prove your worth" game with all the wrong ones; it's a "find someone who's actually compatible with you because he's looking for someone just like you" reality.

Not a game, not a challenge, not a distraction from doing your own work. It's a beautiful life if you choose to stop looking at it in these old no-longer-serving-you ways!

Okay?

Love,

Jane

Tell me you got this message loud and clear in the comments, girl. I see you. I've felt your pain. And no, he still doesn't get to discard you. You were saved for something far better than him!

10 Years Wasted on a Selfish Guy

24 Comments

Profile of a beautiful woman wondering if her guy will ever want a committed relationship.
He has hurt me so deeply. It's changed my view of men.

You know how you stay 'just a little longer' to see if he's going to change? And then you're afraid not to stay in case you miss that change?

That's the familiar scenario I'm talking about here. This is what happens when we wait it out, not realizing the time that passes in the meantime and the days that turn to months and then years.

This is why she wrote to me with the title, subject 'It's been 10 years'. If you've been here you know how it happens and how 'I'll just see how it goes' turns into 10 long years.Continue Reading

He took everything I had. How do I live?

19 Comments

Cute house on a hill in the countryside.
He took everything, my home, my savings, my future.

There are letters that I can't shake, that I want to reach through the Internet and wrap my arms around these precious souls that have given so much of themselves to someone so incapable of giving them anything back in return. Lis's was one of those and I share her letter here with you so she can feel the love and support of this community of women who've been through something like this, too.

Her story:

We were in a relationship for 9 months.

He knew my life intimately as we had always spoken openly. We were best friends, he was thoughtful considerate and kind and gradually over months I started to trust.Continue Reading

There's what HE SHOULD be doing & then there's what YOU can live with NOT doing

18 Comments

Closeup of a beautiful woman is looking sad becasue her boyfriend has disappeared on her and she wants closure.
Because living with regret is much worse.

You already know he should be the one reaching out. And yeah, you shouldn't have to be the bigger person here. But we're not talking about hypotheticals here; we're talking about you.

And if it's your heart that's breaking and you're the only one who's capable of feeling anything, this is your window to do something about it.

He'll move on. He'll find someone else who accepts him just as he is even as she's nothing like you and never will be.

I've seen this play out too many times.

But we're not talking about him here, we're talking about you. You're the one who has to live with your regrets, not your friends telling you to dump him, that you deserve so much more than what you're putting up with.

I tell you that!Continue Reading

My Boyfriend is Flirting with Other Women on Twitter

10 Comments

young attractive couple in relationship problem with internet mobile phone addiction boyfriend ignoring sad neglected and bored girlfriend at home couch feeling depressed and lonely
He flirts more with other women than me.

This week's letter comes from beautiful Maggie, who's confused about her relationship with a guy who's spending too much time paying attention to other women on social media, and not much on her.

Here's what she wrote:

I met a guy on Tinder in Lockdown.

We started talking on the phone for a month and getting to know each other. We couldn't go on a date coz everything was closed so I went to his apartment the first time we met and spent the weekend there.

It seemed like I knew him for months.

He asked me to be his GF and cooked for me. I said yes and we started dating.

We continued love bombing each other and everything went well until.... I found out that he was flirting with girls on his Twitter but he kept saying that it's not flirting to him because it's public so I can see it and they are just tweets.Continue Reading

Can't Let Go? Do This Instead

49 Comments

Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I know I need to let go, but I just can't.

She said she can’t let go. She needs him to let her go instead because she’s not strong enough to do it.

Okay, so I hear her and I hear all of her echoing where you are and what you feel. The pull you feel is too strong. The good stuff you get from this guy is too good and the bad stuff, while it breaks your heart, well, you can justify it as long as you keep focusing on the good parts.

So here’s what you need to hear today if you’re going to change this. Because no, he's not going to change this. He's not going to be the one to let you go if he hasn't already.

Why would he? Girl, he's got it soooo good with you!

Do this instead.Continue Reading

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