Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

  • Categories
    • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Finding Love
    • Single Life
    • Inspiration
  • Programs
  • Work With Me
  • Contact Me
  • About
You are here: Home / Archives for be true to yourself

Should I Leave Him? 9 Questions to Ask Yourself

Leave a Comment

A woman is looking up at question marks above her head.
It begins with some questions and some really honest answers.

You've been living like this for far too long, and the question keeps popping up in your head: Should I leave him?

You keep thinking things are going to get better, hanging on to those little things that just keep you hanging on.

Until it finally becomes clear that things aren't getting better, he isn't coming around, you're still giving way more than you're getting out of this relationship.

And yet, there are the wonderful things.

The amazing times you have together. Those occasional times when he actually does something romantic.

And when it's good, it's really good.

Unfortunately, there just aren't that many of these really great times, and as much as you try to keep it going, you're wondering if you're really just wasting your time.

Especially as the clock keeps ticking and you're not any closer to that elusive commitment you're looking for from him.

You keep asking yourself, should I stay in or leave this relationship? 

It's the question so many of us have wrestled with at one time or another, and one I hear from so many of my coaching clients - "Should I stay or should I leave?"

Typically followed with "Should I give it a little more time?, and if so, how much?" "Or should I just break up?"

Leaving a relationship is never easy, and deciding when to leave a relationship is one of the most difficult decisions to make.

If you're like most of us, you just want someone to tell you what to do, give you some assurance that you're doing the right thing. But everyone you talk to gives you a different answer until you are completely confused as to what to do.

Well, I have good news for you.Continue Reading

It's A Journey

2 Comments

The reality is it's not about an overnight solution, some magic formula that makes it happen instantly. t's about a journey. A path winds through a park filled with autumn foliage.It's been a little over a year since I created this website and began blogging here. Some of you have been on here since the beginning; some of you have just recently found me.

Many of you are wondering why it hasn't happened for you yet, and how long it will take.

The reality is it's not about an overnight solution, some magic formula that makes it happen instantly.

It's about a journey.

A real life journey deep into the inner parts of ourselves that we may not have even known existed. It's peeling away the layers of ourselves, our lives, our experiences, our programming, until we discover that we are not any of those, individually, but all of them.

We are our true selves; our beautiful, radiant, confident full selves with so much love to give, so much to offer, and no reason whatsoever to sell ourselves short and settle for anything less than a full rich relationship with so much to offer in return.

It's about support, about love, about not settling for anything less than you deserve. And knowing what you do deserve in the first place.

That's what this is about.

Not an overnight magical solution. A journey filled with support, and love, and care for you for your heart and soul. Someone here for you along the way to remind you of all that you have, all that you are, and all that you have to offer.

Someone here to remind you of what it takes and why it's worth it. And someone who understands like so few do who haven't been there for themselves firsthand. Someone you can pour out your soul to without being afraid of what they will think of you. Someone who loves you just for who you are.

Until we can celebrate together when you too look back on this journey and see what it all has meant. To see the beauty in you and the life you've created for yourself.

Celebrate you.

To celebrate you and what you have attracted because you've made the choice along the way to celebrate your whole you, complete with those flaws and shortcomings you're learning to embrace and love because they are a part of you. And finding out they aren't flaws and shortcomings after all.

Because this isn't about what’s wrong with you; it's about learning who you really are, figuring out what you're all about it and finding and embracing the real you. Because it's when we find our true selves and embrace and love that person of you that we open up the universe to attract the same back to us, to reflect back to us that love in the form of a special someone who's been looking for someone just like us on his own journey.

It's not about fitting a mold of what we think someone is looking for. It's about finding ourselves and then attracting that special person who's looking for someone exactly like us, just like our true self has been looking for someone exactly like him. Even if it takes a lot longer than you thought it would.

When you look back from the other side, you'll realize that the journey was necessary, all of it, with all of the twists and turns.

And then it will all make sense.

The Missing Piece

4 Comments

This very important piece is like the last piece needed to complete the puzzle. A woman is holding the last piece of the puzzle.No matter how many times you've read or been told it's ultimately about loving yourself, about being confident, about remembering all that you are and all that you have to offer, there is still that part of you that just doesn't know what to do with that.

You read it, you get it, but how to get there from where you're at now is the part that's just not happening. You start by resolving to love yourself, to take better care of yourself, to start treating yourself like the beautiful woman you're being told you truly are, but nothing changes.

You don’t feel any different.

You're not attracting anything different. And you're beginning to wonder if there really is something wrong with you that you can't even master these simple steps. Why does everyone else seem to be able to do this, when you can't?

It all begins with a shift.

Of course you can't start loving loving yourself if you don't find anything loveable about yourself in the first place. Of course you can't start being confident when you're doubting your ability or worthiness to be loved by anyone who's worthy. Of course you can't remember all that you are and all that you have to offer if you don't believe you are all that in the first place.

But what you can do, what you can do right now, is shift your mindset. Stop looking at yourself the way you've always looked at yourself.

It's time to change our self-talk.

Instead of the negative self-talk, instead of looking at what's wrong with you, what about changing that and looking at all that's right with you? What about looking at all your positive qualities first, instead of all the negative press you usually give yourself? When you've lived thinking so little of yourself for so long, it's so easy to forget what's so great about you.

We're taught from such a young age that to think of ourselves this way - as great, as wonderful, as beautiful, as all that – is boastful, and selfish, and bad, and instead we're rewarded by putting ourselves last, everyone else first, by focusing on what we need to improve about ourselves. And what we really hear through all this is that there is inherently something wrong with us.

The truth is, there's nothing wrong with us. It's not about that at all. Instead, it's about rising above everything we've been led to believe about ourselves as being true, and starting a new belief system about ourselves. It's time to tear up those lists that say we need to be something different, when who we are is enough.

More than enough.

It's time to go beyond our list of self-improvements we've been told we need to make and realize we are OK just as we are. There are always things we can do to improve ourselves. There are always things we can do better or differently.

But the difference here is that when we look at ourselves in the light of how can we be our best selves, instead of the mindset of how can we fix what is wrong with us, there is a huge shift that takes place. One view only sees the negative that needs changing; the other sees a beautiful point from which to love ourselves and get to an even higher place of self-love and care.

One is about what we need to do to be accepted and loved outside of ourselves. The other is about how we can love ourselves and care for ourselves in such a way that we become everything our endless potential can see us being.

Do you see the difference? That missing piece, begins and ends with you. You cannot expect anyone else to do this for you. Remember that feeling you get when you're in love, when someone loves you back for you, that you finally have that feeling that you can do anything? That's what I'm talking about here.

You don't need to be loved by anyone outside of yourself to have that same feeling. That is the feeling that loving yourself and having that kind of self-respect and self-confidence brings into your life. You are not an impostor if you have it within yourself. You have simply discovered the secret that most people don't even realize has been right there within themselves all along.

You.

The real beautiful, confident, radiant, you!

You Don't Need to Be Chosen

4 Comments

You don't need to be chosen. You don't need to be picked by a guy to have worth. A man is picking a flower out of  field.I see you everywhere I go. All around me, you're everywhere. So much insecurity. So many of you deferring to these guys. Hanging on to them so tightly, literally. Like you need them.

You believe you do. It’s the flawed belief system that’s in so many of you. You're not flawed; it's just the system you bought into, that you've been programmed with.

It's your beliefs that fuel the insecurities, making you believe you need a guy to choose you in order for you to be all right. I know, because I've been there.

I see you. You’re dressed to attract (the wrong guys). You’re talking to attract (the wrong guys). But if they’ll just hold your hand one more time you’ll take it, because you need that to know you have worth.

You just don’t realize you already have worth, without them; that you have a birthright to claim, just because you’re you. Just the way you are.

But you won’t believe it, because no one makes you feel OK, no one has ever made you feel OK; in fact just the opposite.

But the point is that you don't need anyone else to make you feel OK. You can just feel OK, make yourself feel OK by just being yourself. Just reveling in you. Because you is where it’s at. You’re special just because you’re you. Not anyone else.

But you won’t believe it; no one does. And you can’t get that empty “who do I think I am?” feeling out of your head.

Because we all shortchange ourselves. Believe we’re nothing. Believing we're nothing without being chosen, without a worthy guy to make us worthy. Without a guy who measures up in our culture with what our culture says he needs to be. What we need to be.

So there you are, all dolled up, all sexy, showing your worth, showing what you've got. Because if you’re not putting it out there, someone else will and she’ll be picked. She’ll be the chosen one. Because that's what we think it’s all about.

Pick me, pick me, please pick me.

I hear you because I used to be saying it too. And now I'm trying to drown out all those other voices with mine, saying, beautiful one, beautiful you, come home to yourself, and the beauty that is in you; the beauty that is you.

Being chosen is a lie. You've got it all inside. You don’t need anyone outside of yourself to make you feel alive. You were picked on the day you were conceived.

The universe became a better place on the day you entered the world.

He's Going to Fall For You

4 Comments

He's going to fall for you, and when he does, he'll be falling for the real you; your essence. A beautiful woman is being herself looking up and smiling.Ladies, it's time to stop worrying about what you said or didn't say, what you did or didn't do, or any of those other regrets you have when you feel like things aren't going well. It doesn't matter.

None of those things really matter.

They are of no significance in the realm where the kind of attraction we're seeking takes place, where the true seeds of love are sown.

It's time to stand up for that inner person of you, instead of breaking her down. It's time to stop beating yourself up and being so hard on yourself. It's time to stop regretting all those things you do that you seem to have such a hard time not doing.

Dwelling on all of these only brings you down and makes you feel worse about yourself and your current state of affairs. It doesn't serve you one bit to stay in that place where there is no self-love, no remembering all that you are and all that you have to offer someone, no honoring of your you.

Because the point here is that when you cross paths with that special one who is looking for you as much as you are looking for him, it won't be those little things that you think are going to make or break the relationship. He won't be looking so closely at those things you love to hate about yourself; he'll be looking at who you are, what makes you uniquely you, the essence of you!

That's what attracts him, calls him over, causes him to take a second look in your direction. And that's what gets him to stay.

It's your aura, your energy, your essence.

And the more you are in touch with who you really are and all those aspects of your personality, your temperament, your heart, your soul, everything that is unique to you, the more someone looking for someone just like you will be able to see all of you come shining through. You see, the key to attracting someone who is worthy of our love, and all that we have to offer is to first see ourselves in the beautiful light of our very essence.

Exactly what attracts him to us is what we must first discover in ourselves. It's only when we see ourselves in this same light, with love and acceptance instead of hate and rejection, that he will be able to see us in this same way, too.

We all have those things about ourselves we want to change.

But there's a difference between loathing the person we see in the mirror and working towards becoming our best selves. One view knocks us down. The other view sees us rising to become the person we truly are underneath all the layers of our defenses and our pretenses.

It's time to stop all this focusing on everything outside of ourselves and come back in to that beautiful place deep inside that's been vacant for far too long. That place where the inner light of you gives up settling for the dim light of mediocrity and refuses to settle for anything less than the glorious illuminating light that is your birthright!

Find that essence within yourself and the one who's meant to find you will find it too. And when he falls for you, he'll be falling for the real you.

Your essence.

It's Not About Him, It's About You!

4 Comments

It's not about him, it's about you. A beautiful woman is lying on the grass.We've all been there, asking ourselves and everyone who's still listening to us …Why is he doing this? Why is he behaving like that? Why is he treating me this way? What is he looking for? What does he want?

But what would happen if we could change this around to be about you instead of about him?

It would sound something like...Why am I putting up with him doing this? Why am I OK with him behaving like that? Why am I allowing him to treat me this way? What am I looking for? What do I really want?

Do you see the difference?  When we switch the focus from him to us, it changes everything. We're no longer so focused on him that we forget to focus on us. We're no longer looking at every little thing he does to get a glimpse into what's really going on with him that we miss putting the time and energy and focus where it needs to be - on ourselves!

If we spend all of our time focused on another person, regardless of who they are or what they mean to us, we simply don't have enough time and energy to put the focus back on ourselves where it really matters! How can we figure out what we really need if we're so busy paying attention to what he needs? How can we begin to truly know where we're coming from, what we're all about, if we spend so much time analyzing everything about him?  How can we possibly expect to attract something different into our lives if we are so busy figuring out what he finds attractive that we haven't even begun to explore why we find someone like him so attractive?

While we may sincerely want to know the why's of him, the reality is that it's all a distraction away from us. From doing the work on ourselves to figure out what's going on inside us. It's so much easier to focus on someone else than it is to put that same type of focus on ourselves. It's so much easier to look at what's wrong with him than at what we need to do differently ourselves. But if all we do is keep our focus on him, living our lives focusing on what it is this time yet another him is doing to us, we miss the whole point.

This isn't about him; it's about you!

And the only way to attract something different, to bring someone different into our lives, is to begin that journey to understand who we really are. So that understanding can lead to a confidence in all that we are and all that we have to offer someone who's truly worthy of receiving such a gift.

Beginning with shifting the focus back from him to you.  Beautiful, radiant, confident, YOU!

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • Next Page »

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR MAILING LIST AND I’LL SEND YOU THIS GIFT!

Make Him Adore You Send me the video!

Programs

About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Join Me On Facebook!

Getting to True Love

Popular Posts

A beautiful woman is upset because of the way her boyfriend treats her as he watches TV.

Why He Treats You the Way He Does

A beautiful woman is being hugged

Will He Ever Want a Committed Relationship? 3 Signs He Might

A man telling a woman he just wants to be friends. They are standing in a park on a path, out of focus, with the camera looking through branches.

He Just Wants To Be Friends

If you've let him know that you expect the same level of commitment from him that you've given him, and he can't give you the commitment that you're looking for, then there’s only one thing for you to do. A clock is showing that it's time to move on.

Your Best Response When You're Not Getting the Commitment You Want

You're the one who really has tried everything to get him to come around and fully commit. You're the one who's given him more than enough time to come around and finally make the commitment . A beautiful woman is upset that her boyfriend won't give her the commitment she wants.

The Worst Thing You Can Do When He Won't Commit

A beautiful woman is looking at her ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend, wondering why he wouldn't commit to her.

Why He'll Commit to Her, But Not to You

A beautiful woman looks at her phone wondering why he hasn't called.

The REAL Reason He Hasn’t Called

Green freeway sign with Commitment written on it.

7 Things I've Learned About Men Who Are Afraid Of Commitment

Image of a man who looks like a player showing signs he's not into you.

14 Warning Signs That He’s Not That in to You

Attractive young woman awaits a phone call. wondering why he hasn't called.

The Worst Thing You Can Do When He Hasn't Called

As Seen On…

Latest Tweets

Tweets by @JaneGarapick

Recent Comments

  • Jane on Why Losing the Emotionally Unavailable Man is Never, Ever a Loss
  • Jane on Everything Was Perfect, But Now He Just Wants to be Friends
  • Cammy on Why Losing the Emotionally Unavailable Man is Never, Ever a Loss
  • Jay on Everything Was Perfect, But Now He Just Wants to be Friends
  • Marie on We Had Amazing Chemistry but I Haven't Heard From Him in 4 Days!
  • Vic on Everything Was Perfect, But Now He Just Wants to be Friends

Calendar

March 2026
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Oct    

Copyright © 2026· Getting to True Love, LLC · All rights reserved · Privacy Policy · Refund Policy · Terms of Service

We use cookies to ensure you receive the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are okay with our terms :)