Finding Love

We hear so much about what we need to do differently, what we need to change about ourselves, and what we're doing wrong, that it's no wonder we’re often left thinking that there is just something wrong with us and we'll never figure out how to find true love with that special someone.

We've all seen the looks and heard the exasperated sounds from well-meaning friends who are so tired of hearing the same story from us all over again, leaving us to question our own sanity once again. Almost everyone who seems normal to us seems to get it.

They make it all look so easy.

And yet, when we try to take all the well-meaning advice and make it happen for ourselves, too, we never get the same results.

It can be a frustrating, seemingly never ending cycle, leaving in its wake a tired, beaten down, broken person inside with little self-esteem and confidence left.

It can be hard to see our beautiful, radiant, confident selves when we feel like we are nothing and have nothing to offer anyone, let alone the energy to work on ourselves.

What if there was absolutely nothing wrong with you?

What if you really got that there was nothing inherently wrong with you? What if the fact that you are attracting the same type of man over and over again was about the way you view yourself, rather than some fatal flaw that's just your destiny? What would your life look life, and how would you be living your life if you truly believed in your heart of hearts that there was nothing wrong with you? Because the reality is, there is nothing wrong with you.

You are not your past.

You are not your mother or your father or your sister or your grandmother or whoever else you might think you are just like. You are your own beautiful self, and with a little awareness of where you've been and a lot of acceptance of who you are, you have everything you need to begin anew.

To see that beautiful person of you. To see all that you have to offer and all that you are. To see what that special someone is just waiting to see if you would just see it for yourself first.

You see, if we see ourselves for who we truly are, with all our flaws along with all our attributes, the whole package we are, we would see that it wasn't about being right or wrong, or good or bad, or attractive or unattractive, or a catch, or someone only a mother could love. We would see that these are terms, labels and judgments that our culture puts on us. We're so immersed in it, that we don't see it and so our parents, our teachers and our peers all unknowingly further reinforce these judgments on us, not realizing how they are helping to perpetuate these patterns.

So how do we change this? How do we actually throw off the heaviness of this feeling that we are less than beautiful, less than radiant, less than confident, just less than in general?

It begins with a choice.

Choosing to take back control of our lives and who we really are. And the life we're living. To choose to live life to its fullest, embracing ourselves and all that we are and everywhere we've been and every thing we've been through in the process.

Choosing to accept ourselves by sending ourselves a different message of love and acceptance.

It's as simple as making a choice to stop beating ourselves up so much, stop being so hard on ourselves, and choosing to accept those very things we've been rejecting about ourselves.

If we need to make some changes, let's resolve to make them. But let's do it in love and acceptance not in self-hatred and impatience. Resolve to bring love and respect to ourselves where we've only known the opposite.

This isn't about anyone else; this is about you. And it's in that journey of finding your way back to that place of love within yourself that the beautiful, radiant light that's inside you will begin to shine through like a beacon in the night to attract that special someone.

That someone who's been looking for you all along.