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Dating

The posts in the dating category relate to the early stages of a relationship, before the two of you are exclusive. The dating category includes topics such as where to find men, how do I find Mr. Right?, first dates, should you call him, etc.

How To Know If It’s Your Anxiety Talking – Or Something Else

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone feeling confused over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.
Is it real, or are you worried over nothing?

There was a popular song by Billy Joel when I was growing up that had a line in it that went like this … “when you love someone, you’re always insecure”, and that's as true now as it was then.

Who isn’t insecure when everything seems like it’s going so well and yet you don’t really know someone well enough to know for sure?

When all you've known are relationships that gave you every reason to feel anxious, you don’t have anything like it to compare to. When you’ve given away so much of your heart, your body, and what often feels like your soul, regardless of how much we know we’re not supposed to go further than our overactive imaginations can handle, you’ve got a recipe for all kinds of anxiety to rear its head.

So how do you know how much to blame on your own anxiety and how much is being with the wrong person with real warning signs and red flags that you’re going to look back on and wonder why you didn’t see them at the time?

Well, this question came up this week in my “Engage” group coaching community, and it was such a great question, I wanted to include my answer here for you. After all, who hasn’t encountered that subtle shift where something seems to change that you can’t quite put your finger on?Continue Reading

How To Spot A Player - Every. Single. Time.

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Happy young man and woman in a car enjoying a road trip on a summer day. Couple out on a drive in a open car.
He gives you the impression he could choose any woman in the world…but he’s chosen you.

I used to be so good at this. So good, that I could spot him a mile away.

That look. That walk. That talk. That other part.

Unfortunately, I was also especially good at running towards him, instead of in the opposite direction.

The fastest way to crossing paths with Mr. Right is recognizing Mr. Wrong and getting yourself out of there, pronto. As in - as soon as you can tell the difference. We waste so much time and energy trying to make someone into Mr. Right, that just knowing what you're looking for – and what you're NOT looking for - can make all the difference.

How will you know? It’s not him. It’s you.

You won’t be able to resist him. You won’t want to slow it down. You won’t be able to help yourself.

He’s charming. He’s irresistible. He comes on strong. He’s got an unmistakable confidence to him with just a hint of vulnerability that only you can see sprinkled in. He gives you the impression he could choose any woman in the world … but he’s chosen you.

Sound familiar?Continue Reading

I Had My Suspicions So I Started to Check the Website and He Had Been Active Daily

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Man is cheating on his girlfriend texting the other woman while she sleeps in bed next to him.
He's always on WhatsApp late at night.

Our gorgeous friend Rachel is asking for our help.

Here's what she wrote:

Please help.

I had been talking to this guy for the past 3 months online, then we met up and had 3 wonderful dates. He had to go away to work for 5 weeks in another country, but we stayed in touch for the first 3 weeks until I noticed that he had been spending a lot of time on WhatsApp.

I had my suspicions that he was talking to other girls, so I started to check the website and he had been active daily.

I asked him about this, and he said he’s not speaking to anybody else and would like to get to know me better when he’s home. Anyway, this continued for over a week, but I was noticing he was on WhatsApp late at night and on a dating site.Continue Reading

Why Didn't He Ask for a Second Date When It Seemed to Go So Well?

1 Comment

A beautiful woman is sipping coffee while talking with a man over lunch, wondering why she's not getting what she wants in a relationship.
It seemed like it went really well - I don't get it!

One of my group coaching clients inspired this post (thank you - you know who you are!)

I mean, really, who of us hasn’t been on a great first date with a guy giving all the good vibes, thinking there are going to be so many more down the road, only to be left with that awkwardness when he doesn’t say anything at the end of the date?

All too familiar, right?

So let’s break that down. Why DOESN’T he make sure he’s on your calendar again before he says goodbye? Is it because he’s not interested? Did he not have as good a time as he seemed to? What’s really going on behind the scenes?

First of all, we’ve got a culture that has a whole lot of unwritten rules that influence our men in general, especially when it comes to planning next dates.Continue Reading

Did I Get Played?

4 Comments

Woman upset after her boyfriend pulled away and disappeared, wondering if he'll ever come back.
Am I being an idiot for thinking this could actually be something?

This week I'm featuring a letter - along with my response - from gorgeous Maddie, who's wondering if the man she's been seeing is actually interested in a committed relationship or if he's just playing with her heart.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have a question for you.

Some background information: I have known this guy for 6 years (we briefly dated 6 years ago and have remained in contact on and off in this time, both as friends and sometimes a bit flirty).

Over the last 5-ish months we have gotten quite close again.

He had a girlfriend so we never spoke or did anything sexual. He spoke to me about some of their issues and I gave advice as best I could.

They broke up around 6 weeks ago and since then he and I have spent time together and gotten a lot closer.Continue Reading

Do You Think He Just Used Me for Sex?

4 Comments

A woman is about to kiss a man that is her romantic fantasy.
Everything seemed so perfect - did he just use me?

Our letter this week comes all the way from Hong Kong, where beautiful Laura wants to know what she should do about a guy she met 4 months ago on Tinder, who lives on the West Coast.

Here's her letter and my response:

Hi Jane,

I met this guy on Tinder 4 months ago, and after talking to each other for 1 month, he asked me out. To give you some background information, he lives in SF while I live in Hong Kong, but he works between Hong Kong and SF.

We had sex on the first date.

I know this is not good, but he said he didn't plan it and said he will see me again. So after one week working in China (we text each other every day), he came back to Hong Kong for one day and he did ask me out, said he wants to see me. Its a dinner date.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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