You're Looking for the Wrong Thing

Something hit me the other day.

I've been thinking about this for awhile now, wondering about what makes the difference between those who have so much to offer and go on to find someone with ease, and those of us who struggle so hard to find what we're looking for, or even anything close.

I've tried to break this down for you in a way that you can clearly see what's happening, so that you can easily see this pattern, and put it into words so you can finally do something about it.

I've got those words for you now.

And what it comes down to is that most of us who are struggling so hard with meeting the right guy or the right people or the right job or the right whatever, are all struggling with the same thing.

We're on the wrong search.

We're doing what everyone else is doing, and what we've been told is how we go about it  - online dating, meeting new people, expanding our social circles, exploring new interests and things we're passionate about in an effort to widen our reach when it comes to finding more eligible men and people in general to connect with.

But we're missing something huge!

Subconsciously, we're not looking for a guy. We're not looking for any man.

We're looking for our worth.

We can't find the right guy for who we are right now because who we are right now isn't going to be the same person we are when we find our worth!

And how we find our worth, is by first finding the right rest of our people, before the guy. The people who cheer you on, the people who love you and accept you for who you are. Surrounding ourselves with these kinds, refusing to have anything to do with the other, toxic kinds.

I've seen the changes that happen firsthand when the women I coach feel like they're being seen for the first time, when they're loved for the first time by someone - even if it's just me! - and that changes everything about how they feel about themselves. I've seen them take that new feeling out into the world and manifest everything they'd been fighting so hard to find before.

We’re going on the assumption that finding a guy is about somehow searching hard enough or becoming something that we aren't in order to finally get the guy. We’re still looking for love by trying to prove ourselves “worthy”.

We’re not going into this with the authentic feeling of actually knowing we’re ALREADY worthy. Instead we’re choosing men and looking for our worth both inextricably combined in this search.

But that’s going about it all the wrong way!

If you’re going to find love, I have never been more convinced that you have to first separate the two. They are two distinct things.

Prove yourself worthy to the only person that matters - you.

Then open your eyes to look for him.

The guy you choose when you’re still looking to find your worth in a guy is simply never, EVER going to be the same guy you’d choose when you already know your worth!

Love,

Jane

You been here, Beautiful? Still here? You're not alone. If this resonates with you, tell me all about it in the comments below!