You've always known.
What everyone says don't worry about. What everyone tries to shame you about. What everyone calls you crazy for.
It's actually the opposite, isn't it?
You're the one who's always known what's really going on.
You knew before he left.
You knew before he cheated.
You knew before he checked out.
You knew.
That feeling you have in your dysfunctional workplace. That feeling you have when you’re around your old and tired family dynamics. That feeling you have around certain people that you just can’t shake.
More than almost anything else we talk about, I work with women who are finally realizing they can trust themselves, that they aren't just crazy, that they actually have a gift for seeing and knowing the truth of what's really going on - if only they can believe it themselves.
And when they do, it's changing every area of their lives.
Instead of hiding, and playing small, and keeping it all in for the sake of not rocking the boat or making anyone else uncomfortable (because that's what we were told mattered more than speaking our truth for as long as we’ve been here), we’re learning the power in choosing to believe and give ourselves the benefit of the doubt instead of everyone else.
Even this. Even now.
Trust yourself.
Yes, it’s scary to realize you might know more than you’ve been told you do. Yes, it can be terrifying to realize that no, they didn’t know better than you then and they still don’t know better than you now.
But there’s something beautiful that can come of this by you recognizing the old ways of thinking aren’t working anymore. That maybe it’s time for a stronger, more accurate version of yourself to emerge who DOES know better than the ones who were supposed to.
Maybe it’s time for you to step up and fill the shoes you were saving for someone else who turned out to be a whole lot weaker than you’ve ever been. Maybe it’s time that you allow yourself to be that woman you’ve always been!
You, girl. You.
Stop playing small.
Stop looking for someone else to save you.
Stop looking to everyone else to know better and be better than you.
You’re that person. You were always that person. It’s only because everyone else saw your potential and knew what you just might be capable of, given the chance, that they never set you free to find out.
Can you see that?
It wasn’t about you; it was about how uncomfortable they would be with you standing in your power, living up to even half your potential to be the force you’ve always been underneath.
Stop waiting for them. Stop listening to them. Stop letting them keep you questioning whether you can trust yourself.
You knew then and you still know now.
It’s not about anything you do out there. It’s all right here in your beautiful mind. There is no battle out there!
And if there ever was a time to find out, it’s now. Right here, right now, at home, by yourself, in this time we’re all being given a chance to see what we might not have been able to see before.
I’ve got you, girl. Reach out and let me know how I can help you today. You’re never, ever alone here!
Love,
Jane
How about you, Gorgeous? What are you now realizing you've always known, all along? Share it with us in the comments below!
Most definatley. I may niw jave found someone new. After 6 years in a relationship of cheating narcissistic behaviours and then i love u after he left i was broken .now i am 10x stronger i like myself my values are bk. I will never compromize myself again...i have met someone but still keeping him at a distance . But hes very sweet going in with eyes open this time
Eyes open is a really, really good thing, Lisa. I don't know anyone who didn't learn this the heartbroken way. 💔
I have known all my life how precious it is to be truly loved but I know how great and fulfilling it is to love unconditionally what an experience to finally own who i’am wow how freeing it is to be really real
Oh the beauty of becoming free, Virginia. Love hearing this from you, sweet soul!
All of your messages resonate
Im 57... ive dramatically changed my life by leaving a 32 yr marriage
Ive been a person pleaser all my life
And it has cost me my mental and physical health but... im
Coming back... as Me! The real Frances... it kind of all about me right now... never has been but it is imperative to me to do this if i want to have the life I want
Thank you for your continued insights👍😊
So glad these are resonating with you, Frances. Love hearing from the real you! ❤
I'm actually in tears because all of this is washing over me in a new way. I feel lost and stuck, but also- on the brink of something major. It doesn't help that our world is in shambles and there is absolutely nothing I can do. My inner-power has definitely been silenced for way too long.. Thank you for this soul shaking manifesto <3
Feeling every word of yours, Katie. It's the paradox of transition from old to new. All things are becoming new! Here if you need me, sweet soul!
I have always known that I carry everyone else's pain and suffering and smile through it all because I have always been expected to be the strong one. And 36+ years of trying to keep my head above water in a very unhappy marriage took its toll on me and left me struggling with anxiety and low self-esteem. So I walked away from my unhappy situation. He never cheated, but often threatened to leave, and finally I did him a huge favour and I left. It was me taking control of my life at a point when I felt I had little control. I still struggle with anxiety but I needed to know I could take care of me. Some days I doubt myself, but most days I know that as slow as the progress seems, I will get to a more balanced state. It's all about the focus and wanting to move forward.
You absolutely will, Fiona. My question for you would be what else were you expected to be that changed who you became?
I've realised I am lovable and deserve to be loved for who I am...
Yes, Janine. At the very least!
Thank you so much for the vote of confidence. I really needed to hear that today! 😌
So glad, Ele. You know I've always got you! ❤
Thank you Jane...you dont know how bad I needed this exact message at this exact time!
Oh I knew there was going to be someone like you, Beth. So glad it was you! ❤
I love you for this! Scary times to be isolated for a lot of people, but especially for those of us with Trauma issues! This can be a time for strength & growth if we allow ourselves to savor the solitude! Just keep sending out your words of wisdom Jane, they are so informative & resonating for a lot of us. You should consider putting your stories into a book format! I would reference them often! Sending your hugs & warm thoughts!!
Aw thank you, Michele. And the same to you. So many works in progress - I need to narrow them down to just one!
Wow! I really needed to hear this today. I already knew, but the more I hear/read and understand, I know what I need to do!! Thank you!
So glad, Dawn. I'll explain it to you every time you need reminding. We forget because it's so foreign and so not what we're used to!
This insightfull reading , showed me the way, strive forward i do have the power, thankyou
Yes, you do, Jenny. And then some! Happy to hear it resonated with you!
There has always been this little engine inside me that runs. It tells me I made for greatness. I can do it ! It also told me I was going to lose my Son early in life. It also told me when my husband left me before he would admit it to me. It told me he had found her. It tells me now I must move towards my destiny. I am meant to achieve great things, love deeper than I have ever experienced before,and I must never stop learning and growing!
Oohh run little engine. You've got this, Patti. That little engine's always known exactly what it was made to do - if only it could convince you to trust it enough to set it free to do!
Thank you for the positive message. I am a independent single mom who has been in a relationship for over 3 years. I am constantly celebrating his good fortunes and supporting his emotional needs, but Feelings and concerns are negated. I’m very discouraged and have tried so many methods of communication but it always ends in yelling or hurtful comments. I feel I’m not listened to or matter. I deserve to be heard
Yes, if course you deserve to be heard, Heidi, but what if that wasn't in question and you just acted like you were heard just not understood and it wasn't intentional, just a matter of fact and you found a way within yourself to settle that deficit within yourself? Would it be different then? He may he communicating in the only way he knows how and we're not hearing it because of our filter that's in direct conflict with his by no one's actual fault. I've been right here with you with my mouth hanging open myself. Epiphany!
I’ve always known I am more than just a wife, mom, grandma. I have always known there is more to my life than what I am doing now. I Just don’t know what yet. But there has got to be more. I can feel it in my soul.
Any idea what that might be, Sherry? Because I agree with you and can't wait to hear more!
I don’t really know what it could be. I just know I wasn’t put on this earth to be this unhappy. To only work n come home n sit by myself all the time u less I have my grandkids! But I wish I did know, cause I don want to be sad any more. I don’t want to always feel this cloud of gloom & despair over me! I used to be such a happy, bubbly, out going people person. N now all I hardly even smile anymore.
I should probably follow my gut feeling. I love the guy I am with very much and we have a good life. I want to get married and he does not.
We have both been married before and when we met I wasn't sure I would ever want ro marry again but turns out I do. My gut tells me he isn't going to change his mind. I don't know what I should do.
I fell you Diane...
We've been together for more than a year now. Im 37 and he is 40. I want kids and he says he still doenst know if he wants to have any. Marriage and living together is a huge responsibility that he's still not ready for. I love him and I know he loves me back, he treats me like a princess. But I'm so confused! I don't know what to do...
If you can pinpoint exactly what it is you're confused about, Anna, that will make this much easier on you. Not just the kids part, but what's underneath it. We're never as confused as we think we are. It's a cover for something else.
Then if he isn't going to change, can you live with that reality? Or what would need to change so you could?
Distance yourself and do something for yourself completely different let him think he might lose you
Ive known that Ive always felt like it was j ust easier for everyone to be happy because Im tough I can handle anything. Ive also know that no one liked that either.
But what parts of yourself do you like, Melisa? Not them, you!