Archives for 2019

Help! I've Tried Talking to Him but He Still Does the Same Thing

Here's what she wrote ...

I have been with this guy for quite some time. At first, we would meet up as often as possible - like twice in a week - but now not so often because we are both busy and I only get to see him once every two weeks.

The major concern is that he never communicates even if it's a good morning or calling in the evening to know how my day was. It seems like a task for him. He rarely initiates conversations unless I do or tells me he loves me unless I do.

He would go for days without texting me or even calling even if it's for a few minutes just checking up on me unless I do myself. Yet when he does,after days several days, he acts like we are okay.

At times he leaves me on read on whatsapp and yet he is online on several occasions.

I have tried talking to him about my concerns and he still does the same thing.Continue Reading

Why Waiting Never Works the Way It's Supposed To

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him. — Waiting around for something to happen won't get you where you want to be.

You sit on the sidelines waiting for something that never happens.

You spend all your energy searching for something that never comes.

And while you spend all your time waiting, hoping, comparing (and then waiting some more), there's a life that's being lost in the process. A life begging to be lived, pleading to be explored.

Not when you find him. Not when you're no longer on your own. Not when you're brave enough or ready enough in whatever way would speak readiness to you.

There's so many roads to the same place.

So many ways to catch a glimpse of some him, to find your path crosses the same path as someone you were meant to cross paths with too. But of all the roads you may choose, I know of no other road that delivers you there quite like the road of actual living.Continue Reading

The Choice Is Yours

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A beautiful woman looks out over the ocean. — What if it could all be different?

The choice is always there.

To stay soft.

To stay open.

To stay hopeful.

Or to give up.

To harden our hearts. To give in to the pressure. To conform like the rest. To say the world is a cruel, harsh place. To say all the good ones are taken. To say we were born in the wrong time and place. To say there's no one left for us.

Our proof is right there in our past. In our patterns. In our history.

We can always find evidence to support what we choose to believe.Continue Reading

Suddenly No Response!

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A beautiful woman is sitting On Couch At Home anxiously looking at her phone wondering why he hasn't responded. — I can't believe I'm feeling so bad about this.

It was Julia's letter that showed up in my inbox the other day, and like so many of you, she found reassurance in knowing she wasn't alone in dealing with her current heartbreak; dealing with a guy who once was at first so responsive, now not responding at all.

Here's her story.

Hi Jane,

I came across this website so thought I'd try to find some reassurance here.

I've been divorced for a short time after a long marriage. I reunited with an old boyfriend I hadn't seen since my early twenties. We got along so well, like we'd been together for years.

I've always believed that we were made for each other.

He lives interstate but we kept in touch; he's also divorced and was making plans to come see me.Continue Reading

Panic Attacks

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A beautiful woman has her eyes closed representing a panic attack. — Her words brought it all rushing back to me.

I had my first panic attack when I was 18.

It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was the passenger in a car of girls driving back from my girlfriend’s family home in Northern California on the 5 Freeway, along with everyone else headed back to SoCal post holiday.

I was living in Southern California at the time, attending Biola University, on a PK (Pastor’s kid) scholarship. My own family celebrated our Canadian Thanksgiving a month earlier, so my friend had included me in her family plans.

The girl in the backseat who was carpooling with us – she was a childhood friend of my new friend and lived around the corner from her although she went to a different SoCal university, she picked up on who I was immediately.Continue Reading

He Says I Should Just "Let Things Be"

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Rear view of a woman holding the curtains open to look out of a large light window at home. — I sometimes wish he could be there for me emotionally.

Beautiful Lydia wrote to me this week, asking for my perspective on a relationship she's in. Like so many before her, I know many of you will relate to her situation as well.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I hope that you are well.

I absolutely have no idea how you do this, how you manage to send such an email at a time when I need to hear these words the most. I have been following your blog for the past 6 years and I must say you really have helped me in my journey to find true love.

Your post just reminded how important it is to love myself and to put myself first no matter what. I have been struggling with that for such a long time now. I have an issue of looking for people to validate me, simple thing like someone telling me I look beautiful or comment on my new hairdo and when they don't, I don't feel beautiful enough.

I recently met a guy in October last year, he was living with an acquaintance of mine (who is a lady). They were not dating but were friends with benefits. I met him there at her house and we instantly moved towards each other.Continue Reading

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Help! I've Tried Talking to Him but He Still Does the Same Thing

Here's what she wrote ...

Why Waiting Never Works the Way It's Supposed To

The Choice Is Yours

Suddenly No Response!

Here's her story.

Panic Attacks

He Says I Should Just "Let Things Be"

Here's what she wrote:

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