Getting to TRUE Love

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How Could He Just Leave Without Even Saying Goodbye?

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A man walks down a snowy winter road.
Why did he give up?

Our beautiful friend, Tracy, has just gone through a devastating experience with an emotionally unavailable man.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

You helped me with my first break up with a emotionally unavailable man and your articles inspired me to keep my eyes open while dating.

I must admit for 4 months I was involved in a little mess here. But with your knowledge and clear look for signs I can now recover faster and be stronger.

Our story started with the dead end. But it could have change with the happy ending.

I met a wonderful man while he was travelling. We jumped into romance and adventure and soon after realized that this is something more than just a summer fling.

Even from the start I could see a red flag rising. He was from States, I was living in Australia. In beginning he thought he will stay here but after exploring his future options he couldn't see his career and life here in Australia.

All the immigration laws was against us.Continue Reading

I Want to Forgive So I Can Be Free

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I just want to be free.
How could he do this to me?

Regret. It’s something we’ve all experienced. It’s something our beautiful reader, Yvonne is going through right now as she struggles to find a way to move on from a heartbreak unlike any she’s ever experienced before. All she wants is to be free.

Here's her story:

After three tumultuous months of dating someone (the first month of which was amazing, because now I see he was luring me in like a predator) I gave him my virginity.

I was 23 and had intentionally waited for someone who I clicked with and who I felt respected and cherished me. I loved him, so I decided it was a good time. He said if I wasn't ready, we didn't have to, and a big part of me wishes I had taken that "out" he gave me (and also listened to myself; NO I was actually NOT ready.)

Having sex with him scared me.

I didn't know how to handle the new emotions that came with it, so I told him I didn't want to anymore, for awhile, because I just didn't think I was ready....

He did not handle it well.Continue Reading

He Says I'm Awesome, But He's Not Ready For a Relationship

52 Comments

A blond woman scratches her head because she's confused by her boyfriends actions.
Help! I'm so confused!

I hear it so often. "Everything's going so well, but he tells me he doesn't want a relationship".

Sound familiar? Our lovely friend Ezi is going through this right now, and she's wondering what to do.

Her email:

I met this guy online and we seemed to connect really well.

We messaged each other about everyday, then he asked for my number and then we could talk about two days for 3 hours and sometimes we'd text. We'd take turns communicating with each other.

Then we finally met in person and it worked out well. We met two more times (one of them more recently).

Since we met online, he says he likes me and says I'm awesome (I guess it's because we have similar interests and I'm "good with words"), though he says he's not ready for a relationship because he's not over his ex from 3 years ago (he feels bad for how he treated her back then), he has too much baggage, he feels I am going places in life (in terms of career), and  he feels I deserve better.Continue Reading

5 Years...Still Waiting

20 Comments

A beautiful woman is looking frustrated near a clock, wondering how much longer she needs to wait for her boyfriend.
What on earth is wrong with him?

It's one of the biggest questions I hear over and over again: "How much more time should I give him? Have I really wasted the best years of my life on this man?"

Our beautiful friend, Louise, is going through this right now and has been for the last five years.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane

I've been with a guy for 5 years now.

I've known him for 13 years in total and when I moved to my new city he got in touch and we set up home together pretty much straight away.

He initiated us getting together and said although he was living with someone (they own a house together) they were splitting up and there was no future in it - and said we'd get somewhere to rent for a year whilst he got their house sold and all matters tied up.

They were not married.Continue Reading

Is It All In My Head? Or Is He Being Distant?

25 Comments

A beautiful woman looks down, sad, wondering if her boyfriend is getting distant.
Is he getting distant, or is it just me?

If you're like I was, there are times when you really begin to question yourself.

Like when you think you notice little things suddenly being different, but since you can't quite put your finger on any one thing, you second-guess yourself. You feel like he's getting distant, but it's subtle.

You know if you confront him about it, he'll deny it, or tell you that you're being needy, or controlling, or smothering, or something else just as awful sounding. But in your gut you know it's true.

It's happened. Again. He's getting distant, and to you it feels like the beginning of the end.

This is exactly what's happening right now to our beautiful friend, Vanessa.

Here's her email:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 7 months and recently just came back from our vacation together.Continue Reading

The Truth About the Half-In-Half-Out Relationship

60 Comments

A woman dips her toes in the pool, signifying the half-in-half-out relationship.
One foot out. One foot in. And then there's you.

When he doesn’t have to drive to see you – because you come to him.

When he doesn’t have to give you love – to get sex.

When he doesn’t have to court you, date you, prove his worth to you – because you make this all so easy for him.

There’s a lie going around that we believe we just have to be enough, love enough, try hard enough, give enough and he’s going to come around.

It’s been going around as long as we were old enough to absorb it, and it’s spread all around us from the music we listen to, to the shows and movies we watch, to the more subtle messages marketed to us in advertisements, carried in familiar adages we never question, and in the words of everyone around us who’s bought into it, too.Continue Reading

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