One of our beautiful readers, who has called herself "Stormy", has ended her 5 month relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, but now she's second-guessing herself.
Here's her story:
Dear Jane,
I'm thankful to God this morning for the person on my Facebook who shared your webpage.
You truly are a Godsend to me in this time of pain and heart-break I'm now going through. I've already been helped and blessed by some of the other questions and answers you've posted and I'm hoping you can offer a little advice for my situation as well.
Just yesterday, I decided to end an exclusive relationship of almost 5 months with a man I've fallen in love with. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.
I'm now 28 and I have only ever fallen in love with a man once before in my life as a teenager through my early 20's. That took me years to recover from the devastation and pain because I believed God showed me that he was the man for me and the one I would marry.
Since that man, I've only ever experienced bad relationships that had bad endings and my friends never understood why I've been choosing bad men for myself when I'm worth so much more.
My first love landed me very hurt and burned and have caused me to carry severe insecurity and trust issues in relationships and I want so badly to break free from all of them and have a successful relationship and marriage.
I believe some of my own issues are the major reason I drove myself to end my relationship just yesterday.
The tension and stress from my insecurities and fears began to push my man away from me emotionally little by little. One major thing happened just last month that made me start to doubt if this was the right man for me. I fell pregnant unexpectedly and he freaked out because he's not ready to start a family right now and it's too soon.
So he told me he needed space for a few days and wanted to be alone.
I didn't contact him for almost a week and he never reached out to see how I was doing. I felt completely abandoned when I felt I needed him most. I tried to understand he just needed space because this was very hard for him.
A long story short I ended up miscarrying my very first baby and so I finally contacted him with what was going on. Once he knew there wouldn't be a baby in the picture he started up in the relationship again.
It was during that time he was alone that he got on a dating website and asked a girl out to coffee which they didn't end up doing. I found out about this later through his phone and was deeply hurt. We had never broken up according to him and so when I found that out I felt like I didn't know if he was trustworthy anymore.
My insecurities skyrocketed and I found myself almost going mad with wondering what he was doing when we were apart and wondering who he was talking to behind my back and wondering if he's been actually cheating on me.
I started wanting to look at his phone every opportunity I could.
He told me he never planned to meet that girl but that the pregnancy scared him so much and made him revisit some old wounds in his past. We were on vacation at the time and so I decided to just let it go with his explanation and enjoy the rest of our trip.
We just got back a few days ago and I realized I wasn't feeling secure with him anymore and he wasn't offering me any kind of reassurances to make me feel secure.
So a long story short, everything that had been bottled up came spilling out yesterday and I told him I didn't think I could do this relationship anymore and I needed a man more emotionally supportive and involved with me.
He told me he was very sorry for hurting me and didn't want to hurt me anymore.
He agreed that we should break up because there seems to be a lot of issues. He said my insecurities and suspicions of him from time to time have pushed him away. We had a very good open talk about so many things and we both cried and hugged and he told me he knows we both love each other but that isn't enough.
I asked him if we could both work on our issues and give it another try and he said he didn't know if it could be fixed and he felt it was the right thing to do to break up.
He is truly by far the best man I've ever dated since my first love in so many areas and does have a very kind heart. He's the first man my friends and family all like and we have a connection and chemistry.
I left his house with a very broken heart, torn between feeling like I had just made the worst decision of my life leaving a good man and thinking that maybe he really isn't the best for me and that he's right, there are too many issues to be fixed. I also feel like why isn't he fighting for the relationship and just agreed to let it end.
Maybe he's been looking for a way out and couldn't make himself make the first move?
Now I find myself missing him and wishing I hadn't let all my emotions spill out and make a decision to end it. Like maybe I just needed to give it all more time and learn how to let go of my fears and insecurities.
I wonder now, "did I make the right decision?" because I find myself praying he will ask me if we can have a second chance.
I love and miss him.
Any advice is welcome dear Jane. Thank you.
- Stormy
My Response:
Dear Stormy,
Your beautiful words were so touching. Thank you. I’m so glad you’re being helped and blessed by what you’re finding here.
Oh how my heart goes out to you! I'm so sorry for your loss. What you’ve been through with this man in such a short period of time! However you find your way here, that you did, says so much about what you’re ready to hear. We always find what we do for a reason.
There’s something that happens to us loving, giving, caring women when we find ourselves ending something that showed so much potential, if only to us.
When all is said and done, and the dust settles, we allow the feeling of loss, of being alone, of being the one to finally speak up and say what both parties invariably already knew, to drive the fear that we’ve made the biggest mistake of our lives.
How familiar this feeling is to so many of us!
What this is about, more than anything else, is about trusting yourself, trusting your own gut instinct, your own intuition, to see that you do know so much more than you think you do.
There’s a reason you had enough, a reason you couldn’t continue this relationship anymore, with so many red flags, so many warning signs that we never want to admit are there when we’re so focused on someone’s potential.
With someone who’s truly right for you, with someone who’s on the same page as you are, who wants the same thing as you and wants that with you, the very things that make you so human will be the very things he loves about you!
You would never have been so insecure if you hadn’t had every reason to be.
You would never have felt so compelled to check his phone if you hadn’t been accurately picking up on some reason to.
You would never have been so mistrustful of him if he had shown you he was trustworthy in the first place.
Instead of questioning yourself, Stormy, question what you know to be true.
What are the facts? What was the reality of those 5 months you were together? When you needed him the most, was he there for you? Was this a relationship lived on both your terms, or only on his? What did he show you? What did he give you? What did he really do for you? What was there in reality to love? I know it feels like so much. And especially where you stand now without him, it always feels like so much. But what really did he give you - you who gave so much to him?
There’s something far greater here to take from this that has nothing to do with him but everything to do with you.
You know what you know to be true even if someone tells you it’s not. You sense what’s going on behind the scenes of what he says or does on the surface. You can trust yourself, Stormy. Not just with him, but with anyone!
There’s always something there if you sense it, always!
Love isn’t complicated. You’re not a tragic heroine destined to your fate. You're so very much in control here, if you allow yourself to be.
You choose the kind of love you want, the only kind you’re willing to accept, and watch who shows up to give you exactly that when it's the only option you're offering.
Do what it takes to get to that place where no one can make you feel bad about yourself, where no one can cause you to question what you know to be true. That’s where real love comes from. When your own cup is so full of the love that you give and bring to yourself that you’re not so dependent on someone else to give it to you. It's simply a part of you.
Trust yourself, Stormy, by looking at facts instead of fantasies. It changes everything when you do.
I hope this helps.
Love,
Jane
Do you have any other words of encouragement or advice for our beautiful friend Stormy? Please share them with us in the comments!
I think a woman should always trust her gut instincts as Stormy did. It takes a strong woman to walk away from a man who deep down she knew will ultimately never be able to fulfill her own love, hopes and dreams of what she wants for herself in the future. Stormy should pull from that strength she found and hold onto it and go into her next relationship with that love of herself and strength and she will have a much better outcome of what she truly wants in life.
You have come to the right place Stormy for love and support. So many of these stories that Jane shares have a familiar theme. Women with big hearts who give out so much but get little in return. I am one of those women. I have also attracted men who won't or can't commit because they are emotionally not available, men who take advantage of my generosity.
I recently completed Jane's program and I am so grateful that I loved myself enough to sign up and listen to someone who has walked in my shoes. She has found true love for herself and so can I. So can you and all the other ladies who wish the same for themselves.
I realize that the process for finding a healthy love relationship all starts with me. What am I willing to do for myself first? What am I willing to let go of? What am I willing to accept?
There are no endings, only new beginnings and I encourage you to acknowledge the pain you are experiencing, because for you it is real, then do what you can to love and nurture yourself. You will get stronger as each day passes, and you will draw into your life the kind of love you want and deserve.
Dear Stormy:
You made the right decision, and I know from experience it is very painful.
There is a vacancy in your heart for someone to be your soulmate.
Remember to be yourself and love yourself, and you will exude a positive, attractive,
appearance to those around you. Try to keep busy with friends and family - it will help.
Been There, Sue
Thank you, Sue. Yes I have found that being with friends has helped me a lot.
Stormy,
Your post was right on time for me. I just ended a similarly frustrating relationship yesterday too. I finally called him out on not being emotionally available. He told me that my intuition was the most incredible he'd seen. We often talked about this fact in our relationship because it seems I was always trying to help him in some way. Not financially or physically but emotionally and spiritually.
I am a very successful woman, and a single mom. He was divorced in 2012 but I've been out of my cohabitation for over 6 years. I felt like his theralisy half the time because he was so wounded from his cheating wife. I was cheated on too and so we had a common experience. But really, I was playing the fixer and he the wounded bird.
Jane you hit the nail on the head that we find the things we need when we need them. Your words of encouragement reinforced what I already knew but kept questioning over and over. All of the questions you asked about what he did for me were so clear - he didn't do anything for me. He let me do everything for him because I was willing to do it.
Thank you for your question, Stormy. And thank you for great insight, Jane. God bless you both.
Therapist not therapisy*
🙂
So glad this one resonated so much with you, Dee. "He let me do everything for him because I was willing to do it." - Wow. Did you feel your power come back with that statement? Beautiful! That's the kind of insight that moves mountains, Dee. Thanks for sharing here.
Hello, i am so sorry for the loss of your baby, this man showed no love, for you or your baby, he was of, straight on to a dating cite,what a uncaring selfish person, he, does not know love, and you should count your self well rid, and you will fined a loving man out there, and you will be happy, and hopefully, have a family, that loves to be ,a husband and daddy, for you sound like you have a lot of love in side you ,so give it to the right man, you had a nasty man there.
I'm wondering why Storm & her boyfriend couldn't have used birth control. I can understand that a man who is taking all in the relationship and is not ready for commitment to marriage would freak out over her pregnancy. Didn't Storm have any sense of responsibility for her cycles? I think there's a lot more here and facing her true feelings might help her know herself better.
Hi Norma
As they say in life hind sight is twenty twenty. We dont know the details of the sexual encounter. Maybe they did and it failed. Medication can throw pill off. Incorrect use of birth control. Maybe swept away in a moment. Maybe the misguided thought of giving in and pleasing. Her man to hope he would know she loved him.
Who knows.?
What we do know is this man showed his true colours and made it crystal clear that he is not available for responsibility .He is available for sex but not for consequences that could result.
Yes we wish the pregnancy and miscarriage did not happen. Yet this incident helped show the weak selfish excuse he is for a man
She can be grateful no permanent future ties to this weasel
Alia
Dear Jane,
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my letter and for your kind and encouraging words. They mean so much to me in this difficult time and I truly appreciate your advice. Everything you said puts the bigger picture into perspective instead of me just focusing on the loss and having to start over once again. I believe God will lead me to the right man who will be emotionally available and want to be 100% invested in me and our relationship and sharing a future together instead of investing only part time in me and being uncertain of what he wants.
I pray for the strength and courage to face starting over and healing from all the pain of investing so much with so little in return.
I'm going to start truly valuing myself and my worth and know that right man will go above and beyond for me and will love and want me 100% of the time.
I also want to add, to all those who have commented, thank you so much for your condolences and reaching out to me. The loss of the baby was very painful as well. All of your kind and encouraging words mean so much and you all brought up some good points to think about.
Thank you again dear Jane and blessings on your work and all the differences you are making in so many lives.
Love,
Stormy
You're so welcome, Stormy. I'm so glad my response resonated with you! I'm so glad you reached out instead of going through this alone. Let the words of everyone here give you the strength and the vision to see yourself how you deserve to be seen. You have so much to give, so much to offer someone truly deserving of you. Make a promise to yourself not to ever again settle for anything less. You're worth so much more!
Hi Stormy
Be grateful that you've only wasted 5 months of your life with this man. You say he's a nice person but remember he abandoned you when you needed him most. He was not the only one that was going through this, you were too. And instead of supporting you he was distracting himself talking to other women. Don't regret your decision. I was with someone I didn't trust for a
Year and only ended it a few days ago, so I'm going through the pain of loneliness and that empty feeling. But I'm trying to take it one step at a time and it hurts like crazy. But I'd rather go through this than be with a man that made empty promises and my instincts told me not to trust him. He would never let me look at his phone so in my heart I know he's not true. We really don't need relationships like this. My friends have all got amazing partners which gives me hope that there are some good men out there. Give yourself time and you'll know you've made the right decision. All the best Kay
Hi Kay,
Thank you for your words, you're very right. I'm sorry you were also in a bad relationship that had to end. I know how it feels 🙁
But your right, there is hope for both of us still. I also have friends who have amazing partners and I know it can happen for both of us too.
Blessings,
Stormy
I've been dating for a decade now, I'm in late 20's too. I'm with my boyfriend of 8 months almost. Jane says if they person is meant for you there's nothing you can do "wrong" to push them away. I hope this is true.
It is, Elisia. But only if you believe it, too.
Dear Stormy
When I read your posting it was all so familiar. I too felt forced to finished with a man I loved very much and thought was my future and my happy ever after. He could be so loving and kind yet distant at the same time, my friends and family really liked him too but when my Mum became very ill after a stroke and I needed him more than anything he started going out with friends more at weekends and gradually distancing himself but denying it. I stayed with him for 4 years and he moved in with me for 18 months but I never felt that he was fully committed, he went back home more frequently at weekends.I had a gut feeling that I couldn't trust him and now I know ALWAYS GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING! It is there to protect us. I too looked at his phone when he was in the shower one day....not the sort of thing I do or am proud of but I found out that he had been lying to me. He talked his way out of it eventually but I felt the trust was gone really and when I ended it 3 months later he never even fought for me and I haven't heard from him since. If I'm honest there is not a day gone where I haven't thought about him but that's because he took the cowards way out and left me to do the dirty work that he couldn't man up to do and so I took the guilt wondering if I had made the right decision. Believe me I know now that I did. We deserve better than a man child who doesn't want to face responsibilities and runs when the going gets tough. We deserve someone supportive who loves us equally and that we can trust completely. When that happens there won't be any analysing their actions and worrying about our own as it will all just fall into place. Don't waste the amount of time I did grieving over this weak, cowardly loser and the potential of a future together...it was never really there and believe me we were nor the first they have done it to and we definitely won't be the last. They usually have a history of bailing, a pattern but we think we can change them. Save yourself a whole bunch of wasted energy and time....don't regret what you did. It was definitely the right thing!
A suggestion that might assist with the healing process...
Every time you think about wanting to call him, or wishing he was in your life, etc...make a list of all the things that are great about YOU, yourself. Start each sentence with...I AM. It works best if you use a paper and pen, no pc, etc.
Good luck!
Love this suggestion, Purpleorchard; thank you for sharing. There is something magical that happens when we use paper and pen for this exercise instead of a pc!
Thank you Purpleorchard. That is a great idea. And maybe I can also make a list of all the reasons I left to remind me...
Stormy, I felt your hurt 🙁 but at the end of the day, you did the right thing. You only invested 5 months...I invested 3 1/2 years. I let him use my credit, body, mind and gave him my heart. What I got out of it at the time was hurt, STD, humiliation, and lies. You are only 28, live you life for you, laugh so much that it hurts and love yourself so much that you will not accept anyone that do not love you the same. It took me along time to learn this lesson. That relationship taught me what I wanted. I am still in the process of healing my heart and forgiving...I do not let one day go by without laughing until I hurts and love myself to the fullest and living the life I want. Learn from this...he is not worthy of you...he needed space when you need him..that shows you he is not reliable....he thought the both of you were broken up so he start seeing someone else..that shows he cannot be trusted...he did not fight for the relationship...that shows that he do not want it....you walked away....keep walking forward that is behind you...In my mother's voice...baby another bus is on it's way. Men are like buses there is always another one coming.
Thank you for sharing, RealDavis. What you have been through, too! My heart aches for each and every one of us with our stories so deep, so painfully true. Your beauty and grace shines through so beautifully in spite of everything you have been through. "He needed space when you need him" - this says everything. Thank you.
I'm sorry for your pain Realdavis but glad that you have found the strength to walk away and the courage to not settle for anything less than the true beautiful you deserves.
And I agree with you laughing is the very best medicine! 🙂 I need to do that more!
Blessing to you!
Hi Stormy,
You are making the best decision. And I speak from similar experience, having had trust issues and some insecurities, so here is what I can share to offer you reassurance, and hope.
The men who weren't "right" for me in a long term capacity, fed those fears and insecurities and often were doing the very thing I feared--cheating or lying.
The men who are right for me,--fight FOR me. And what I mean is those two men who loved me unconditionally, knew my concerns, and instead of running from me or calling me crazy, they opened up their phones, their emails, willing to earn my trust and prove to me they loved and adored only me. They didnt give up on me when the relationship got tough--one of the men, would actually come over and say, I dont want to talk about our fight right now, I just want to show you that I am here, going to stay, so lets sit and read together, or cook together, until I can process whats going on. He also didnt leave me when we thought we might be pregnant, he too wasnt "ready" for a child, however, he kept the lines of communication opened as he talked to me about his feelings and concerns and checked in with me on mine. Yes he needed space, however, he never once made me feel alone.
That said, I have also been in your shoes, where the guy was cheating and lying. My gut knew. My intuition told me. He swore up and down that there was no one else, yet a look at his phone showed me otherwise. And that is when I knew that despite my love, it had to end. He taught me alot, mainly to trust myself.
Do you have any idea how many women are insecure and/or have trust issues?? You are not alone...there is a universe full of us. Perhaps we are made that way, to help us find the ONE, as the one helps us heal the broken places within. Read that again, the one that is meant for us, helps us heal the broken places within. Another person doesnt complete us, but another person helps us be our best possible selves, not illuminate our challenges.
I have alot of compassion and empathy for you. I know all to well, how hard it is to let go of someone we love because we know that they can't give us what our soul yearns for in terms of growth, healing, and support.
And last but not least...He will call again. It may not be today, tomorow, this month or in six months, but he will call again. He will be testing you to see if you have incorporated these valuable lessons. So my advice is to forgive him, but dont forget how he lied to you, and abandon you. Men like that get worse as time goes on, not better. What would happen if you were sick? Would he be there for you, or look for someone else. Dont stick around to find out.
Love yourself more. Know that we are all a bit broken and the right person helps us heal, just as you help the other to heal.
Good luck my friend. Be strong. You are beautiful and none of the broken parts take that beauty away from you.
The contrast between the ones who are right for us and the ones who aren't is telling, Purpleorchard. Thank you for shining the light there, and reminding us all of that difference. Our intuition always tells us everything we need to know.
Oh stormy. My heart broke for you reading your story. Im so sorry for your loss.
Jane is SO right, though! When you needed him the most, he wasn't there for you. Please stop making excuses for him and saying that deep down he is a good man, because the decision of leaving you high and dry during a difficult time says so much more about him than anything else. You are obviously such a loving woman, I can tell from your words. Do yourself a favor and love yourself more than him; don't find excuses and never let anyone treat you this way again. NO ONE deserves this.
You didn't make a mistake, stormy! You made the BEST decision you could've possibly made for your well-being and your future. You should be soooo proud of being so strong. This is such good news for you because the strength you're looking for to get you through this tough time is already inside of you and we can all see that from your decision to walk away. Channel that when you feel low and incredible things start to happen. Trust me, I've been there 🙂 There are so many men and women out there who wouldn't have the guts to do what you did. Im really happy for you - it's a long road but you're beginning a journey that's invaluable if you stay on this path.
I wish you the best, stormy! Take care
Beautifully said, Julie. Thank you for your words for Stormy. No one ever deserves this.
Thabk you so much Julie. Your words here are like balm to my heart and ring so true. I truly appreciate you. ❤️
Hi Stormy
So sorry for your loss. I did the same about 8 weeks ago. 4yr relationship that was not progressing. He wouldn't even give me any reassurance that I wasn't wasting my time. Best I could get was " We will get together in time, down the track, one day".
My lease was due for renewal & he wasn't fussed.
I sometimes wish I had hung on but when I think about how he did nothing to prevent it or even work things out then I know I had no other choice.
I too miss him & the potential we had to be real partners.
Take time to grieve and heal Stormy.
The fact that he made no effort to contact me afterwards speaks volumes to me. Very hard to accept, but it's out of my control.
Be strong and be thankful you have the ability to love. Your better match will come along when you least expect it and you are ready to receive.
Take care J
And isn't that how we finally see what we couldn't otherwise see! By his response - "We will get together in time, down the track, one day." So telling, Janette. Someone who is ready will be ready, will do what it takes to make that happen, not rely on whatever will be, will be. A motivated man gets it done.
Thank you so much! I'm sorry for what you've had to go through as well Janette. It's sad at what we women have allowed ourselves to go through. Thankfully we are shine the light and can clearly see how to change our course and head back in the right direction. I pray things go well for you and that you find your soulmate who will love and cherish you for who you are.
Stormy,
First of all you have my condolences on your loss. Hope you're doing well. I wanted to share my thoughts on your story. First of all, everybody and their mother have insecurities, they're called flaws. No one is perfect. You need to find someone who loves YOU... Flaws and all. I know you would do the same. This man is not THAT man. Trust yourself and you will know better than anybody, what you want and need in a man. I know it hurts so so bad, bit this too shall pass. We women are strong than we give ourselves credit for. Be strong and you will overcome this and be a little more wiser and a little more knowledgeable of what you really want in love. God bless and take care. 🙂
Exactly, Yuri! Thank you. Flaws and all. It's how you know you've found him!
Thank you so much for reaching out to me Yuri. Your words are helpful. Blessings to you.
I really feel you Stormy, I did the same thing 2 weeks ago, it still hurts a lot, but I'm progressing all the time. I had a hard time for a couple of weeks when we were seeing each other, it was a work thing, but he knew what it meant to me, and he said that it is really amazing that someone is so passionate and driven about something like that, but where was he, not by my side, only giving BS reasons that he is busy etc.. Every week that went by, I also didn't trust him, more and more, he was lying, also he always said (many times) that there is no other women, and what is "funny" I never asked about other women, so when he many times said about it, I started to think that maybe there is...why would you speak about that, especially when I never was asking about it or being/acting jealous, did he want me to be jealous, who knows...
I think I'm "very good" in hiding my true emotions when I start to sense bad things happening in the relationship, that we are not on the same page. I never give the man a hard time (even they maybe would deserve it sometimes..), I don't contact them, act needy, ask for explanations why they didn't do this and that, I give them space, I do my things in life-hobbies etc, I never cancel my plans for them... I kinda do it like it should be done, when you read about relationship advises, I put me first, not the man, I kind of fake it, hard to explain, I think I shut down, inside I feel I'm so trapped to these men, but I never ever let them to see it. Comes from insecurities and from bad experiences I think.
Stormy, remember not to contact him, even if you reallyreally feel like it. I haven't contacted him, and he hasn't contacted me, at first I really hoped that I would hear from him, that he would realize what he is missing, but as we all know, almost always, it doesn't go like that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place if we would have been a match. But it doesn't take away the pain, even we know better. In one Jane's article it really hit me where she wrote, Do you really want him to contact you?? If I really think about it, with my brain not heart, I don't want him to contact me. I wouldn't go back like I did couple of times (been there done that..), but it opens wounds again, would stop the healing, where I think I'm well heading step by step.
Reading Jane's articles and other people's comments helps a lot. I know I deserve more, I know I want true love, but it's easier said than done. But I'm on the path now 🙂 you are too, you are here 🙂
I'm so glad you're finding something here to help you, too, Ariel. Yes, you knew, too! When all we know is how to give, how to keep everyone happy, how to keep our own needs quiet to the detriment of ourselves, we have to learn a new way to change what we've always settled for in our relationships. You're on that path now! This is how it all begins!
Stormy,
I am so sorry for your loss. When I read your story, it reminded me of my own situation. I just want to agree with Jane and say that ending your relationship was the best thing you could have done, for a few reasons.
1. Neither of you are ready for a relationship right now. But don't worry about him. Focus on why you aren't. (I know this because if you were ready, you wouldn't be choosing the same type of unavailable men over and over again).
2. You need to figure out why you are feeling fear and why you are willing to give up your boundaries with these men before you will ever accept a healthy emotionally available man into your life.
A friend of mine recommended a therapist's website, and it helped me so much to see what I was dealing with. He has great articles on complex ptsd. If you feel small and powerless and forget all your boundaries when around a certain type of man, then you are probably "flashing back" to an earlier relationship (usually with a parent or other caregiver) who either abused or neglected you. Reading the information on this site really helped me become more aware of what situations and people made me act in ways that are unhealthy.
Good luck on your journey. Continue to ask God to help you. Journaling is also a great help because you can get all your feelings out without someone judging you. Changing the programming we have had since childhood is hard. I find it interesting that I actually thought I could fix other people, when I now see how difficult it is to fix myself!
http://pete-walker.com/
So true, Deb. Thank you for adding these points to the conversation. We bring so much of our past into the present without even realizing we're doing so. Be so proud of yourself here. That you are seeing the clarity of the situations and types of people that affect you speaks to how far you have come, too!
Thank you so much Deb. You pointed out some very important things to consider. This all has awakened me to the fact, like you pointed out, I still have some internal work and changes to go through before I'm ready for a relationship.
I have dealt with a lot of self worth issues and I know that is a major reason I have settled and allowed men to be in my life who have treated me less than acceptable. I know it's important to be emotionally healthy and secure In who I am and to value myself so that I won't allow anything less from someone else. Let alone someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with.
I'm focusing on positive thinking and realizing how valuable I am and loving and accepting myself for who I am.
Thank you again.
Stormy
Rrrrrrrrrr