Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

  • Categories
    • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Finding Love
    • Single Life
    • Inspiration
  • Programs
  • Work With Me
  • Contact Me
  • About

It's Time to Do Something Different

6 Comments

Freeway exit sign saying Something Different indicates to a woman that it's time to do something different with her love life. There’s something we do that affects our relationships and keeps us stuck in the same types of relationships, settling for the same type of men over and over again.

We don’t realize we’re doing this, it happens so subconsciously most of the time. He’ll say something about it when we first meet, or he’ll mention something about it as we’re getting to know each other better. It doesn't matter when he tells us, our reaction is invariably the same: we ignore it.

We ignore what he’s telling us.

It goes right past us; right below our radar. Instead of hearing it, processing it, taking it in and letting it sink in, we do just the opposite. We see it as our calling, as a challenge.

We believe it's our role to change this, or more accurately, to somehow change him.  It becomes about us and no longer about him.

You know what I’m talking about here. It’s when he says something like “I’m not ready for anything serious”, “I’m still getting over my past relationship”,  “I’m not looking for a commitment yet”, or “I just want to be friends”.

We don’t do the one thing we need to do here …we don’t believe him.

We do the opposite.

We believe we can change him.

Whatever excuse we give him, we believe we can help him. We think we can rescue him, we think we can love him enough to change this, that we can be all that to make him want to come around and make a commitment.

We've been waiting so long for someone like him to come along, that we don’t see the reality of what is. We don’t hear the reality of what he’s saying. And it doesn't even occur to us to consider it long enough to accept that he might just be telling us the truth.

By the time we realize this, by the time the words come back to haunt us and we remember exactly how he told us this in the beginning, it’s too late.

We’re hooked, we’re already in over our heads, we've already given too much of ourselves away, invested too much of our time and energy to go back, too much of our heart is on the line.

We waste all that time trying to convince someone why they're  wrong, why they didn't know what they were saying.  Instead of spending that time with someone who was ready to commit, who was going to fall in love with us, we spent all that time trying to make someone see all that we had and all that we had to offer them. We missed out on someone who was ready on his own, who could see for himself all that we are and all that we have to offer him, without us having to convince him of our worth.

It’s not too late.

There’s always a second chance with someone who’s truly meant for you, my beautiful friend. But it’s time to stop doing this to ourselves if we want to start changing the way we do relationships.

Believe him.

He’s telling you where he’s at. He’s giving you his warning signs. He’s being honest with you. He’s saying it because he means it. He doesn't want to be pressured. He doesn't want to be changed. He doesn't want you to take him on as a project. It's not your call to action.

He wants to be who he is.

Let him.

This is how you free yourself.

This is how you find the love that’s right for you. This is how you make yourself available for someone who wants what you want and doesn't need to be convinced. This is how it’s going to be different this time.

And this is how you begin to do things different.

Want to learn more about bringing him in closer (instead of him pulling away)?  Join our mailing list by clicking the button below, and I'll send you my complimentary video and E-book "4 Proven Ways to Make Him ADORE You (Like He's Never Adored Anyone Before!)"

Get Me Started!

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: commit, commitment, committed, committed relationship

Comments

  1. Being Real Davis says

    January 21, 2014 at 6:51 am

    After almost 4yrs later....I am just now hearing what he said...3yrs ago!!! The FABULOUS thing about this situation I heard, I believe and I am MOVING ON!!! Staying focused ME!!!

    Reply
    • Jane says

      January 21, 2014 at 9:59 am

      Love hearing this, BRD! Because it doesn't matter how long it takes - or how long we think it should take, we hear it when we're ready. In our own time. And that's the beauty of this; now you're in a place to do something about it. Now you know what you need to do - not for anybody else - but for you!

      Reply
  2. Neal says

    January 21, 2014 at 5:05 am

    As a man, I agree with what you're saying 100%. Makes a lot of sense. Trying to change someone never works. Let them be who they are and see if you still love them for who they are. That's actual love.

    Reply
    • Jane says

      January 21, 2014 at 5:54 am

      Beautifully said, Neal; thank you.

      Reply
  3. Carolyn says

    January 21, 2014 at 3:27 am

    This is very true. It only takes two conversations to know where a guy is coming from. We must learn to say thanks but no thanks and keep moving. When you don't pay attention you pay a price.

    Reply
    • Jane says

      January 21, 2014 at 5:54 am

      Exactly, Carolyn. It seems so clear after the fact, but when we're in it, it's anything but.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR MAILING LIST AND I’LL SEND YOU THIS GIFT!

Make Him Adore You Send me the video!

Programs

About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Join Me On Facebook!

Getting to True Love

Popular Posts

You're the one who really has tried everything to get him to come around and fully commit. You're the one who's given him more than enough time to come around and finally make the commitment . A beautiful woman is upset that her boyfriend won't give her the commitment she wants.

The Worst Thing You Can Do When He Won't Commit

Image of a man who looks like a player showing signs he's not into you.

14 Warning Signs That He’s Not That in to You

A beautiful woman is upset because of the way her boyfriend treats her as he watches TV.

Why He Treats You the Way He Does

A beautiful woman is being hugged

Will He Ever Want a Committed Relationship? 3 Signs He Might

Green freeway sign with Commitment written on it.

7 Things I've Learned About Men Who Are Afraid Of Commitment

A man telling a woman he just wants to be friends. They are standing in a park on a path, out of focus, with the camera looking through branches.

He Just Wants To Be Friends

If you've let him know that you expect the same level of commitment from him that you've given him, and he can't give you the commitment that you're looking for, then there’s only one thing for you to do. A clock is showing that it's time to move on.

Your Best Response When You're Not Getting the Commitment You Want

A beautiful woman is looking at her ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend, wondering why he wouldn't commit to her.

Why He'll Commit to Her, But Not to You

A beautiful woman looks at her phone wondering why he hasn't called.

The REAL Reason He Hasn’t Called

Attractive young woman awaits a phone call. wondering why he hasn't called.

The Worst Thing You Can Do When He Hasn't Called

As Seen On…

Latest Tweets

Tweets by @JaneGarapick

Recent Comments

  • Heather on Why No Contact NEVER works and what to do instead
  • Emma Verhoog on The Difference Between Giving Up Too Soon and Giving Up Too Much
  • Jin on Three Things You Can Do When He’s Getting Emotionally Distant
  • stavkapro on Your Best Response When You're Not Getting the Commitment You Want
  • Turning Your YouTube Channel Into a Cash Flow. on The REAL Reason He Hasn’t Called
  • Snehal on My Boyfriend Fell Out of Love With Me

Calendar

January 2014
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  
« Dec   Feb »

Copyright © 2025· Getting to True Love, LLC · All rights reserved · Privacy Policy · Refund Policy · Terms of Service

We use cookies to ensure you receive the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are okay with our terms :)Got it!