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They tell me I'm too late

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A beautiful woman looks confused and drained with her chin resting on her palm.
So...what's stopping me?

I need your help today everyone!

A beautiful member of our community wrote me this heartbreaking letter and I want her to hear not just from me but from all of us who feel moved to say something in response to this all too familiar sentiment that we're too late, or too old or too something else. You can comment below and she'll see it on the blog.

Here's what she wrote:

Dear Jane,

I have already been told that I have missed my calling.

That I am far too old.

But I am not dead yet.

More than anything I want to sing. I have a small PA system and I'm building up a repertoire to sing on my own. But these are cover songs. But I want more than that.Continue Reading

Freeing Yourself from the Chains of Bondage

6 Comments

Concept of a woman freeing herself from the chains of bondage
It's time to break those chains.

"I'm ready to do the work" she said. "I'm ready to fix this."

"I sabotaged it - I was so insecure and anxious. I did this. Now I only have myself to blame. Can you help me get him back?"

It wasn't her fault. And no, it didn't require any more "working on herself".

Because it wasn't hers to fix.

She hadn't sabotaged it. She was insecure and anxious BECAUSE he gave her reason to be. NOT because she was this way for no reason.

She didn't do this. She wasn't to blame.Continue Reading

Do this one thing for me ...

2 Comments

A beautiful woman is sitting in a field thinking about love.
Just give it a try.

Are you doing it again?

Waiting?

Waiting for someone to change?

Waiting for someone to find you?

Waiting for someone to make it all better?

It's okay. There's no shame in admitting if you're here. I've been here. Most of the women I coach have been here before. It's my own default place.

You don't even realize you're doing it.Continue Reading

Why do you even bother?

9 Comments

A beautiful woman is leaning on a railing against a sunset, disappointed she hasn't heard from her boyfriend.
What's your reason?

That's my question for you today.

Why do you even bother?

With so many discouraging moments, so many disappointments, why do you still bother to try?

Because you've got a reason. Even if you've forgotten it up til now.

It's there somewhere, giving you hope, keeping you believing in something changing in your life for you even if it's so hard to see.

There's a reason I'm asking you this today. I want YOU to hear from yourself WHY you still bother. Why you haven't given up all hope of your life ever being different, why you're still here.

I want to stir up some excitement, some passion left in you. Some determination, some motivation to finally crack your own code for why you still have enough hope to come back here every time.

What's your reason?

There's something stronger than you believe you are that's not giving up on your story ending here. What is that? What does that look like for you?

Don't underestimate the power of you knowing your why, your reason that STILL gives you hope even if it's not always obvious to you.

There's a reason, girl. Time to remember what yours is!

Take a moment to think about this and then put it down in the comments. It makes all the difference in the world when you say it out loud and write it down right there in front of you!

Love,

Jane

What's your why?

16 Comments

The words what's your why written on white paper.
It's the most important question you can answer.

That's it.

That's the most important question you can answer that's going to bring you the results you're looking for.

Every day, you tell me your stories of why you do the things you do, why you can't stop doing those things, why what you believe is just the way it is and why you've given up on hoping it's ever going to be any different for you.

I listen. And then I ask you that most important question you NEED to answer before ANYTHING is going to be different for you.

Why?

Why are you too old?

Why are you so unique that you're going to be the one person that never finds anyone while everyone else does?Continue Reading

One guy; really?

8 Comments

Beautiful woman looking out the window on a rainy day, wondering if it serves her.
It's time to look at it for what it really is.

He's one guy.

I get that.

One really important guy you've pinned all your hopes and dreams on.

I get that, too.

But because one person isn't capable of seeing you, you're going to let that one person define your worth?

No! Not this time and not any other time either.

We're done doing that. We've done that too many times already.

Take him down off that pedestal right now, girl, and take a look at what you've actually got.

The real picture, not the fantasy of "but you don't know him like I do" that you keep coming back to. I DO know him like you do because guys like him are the ONLY ones I'd ever known before I finally did something about it and they all follow a familiar pattern.

Someone who breaks your heart over and over again.

Someone who triggers every one of your blind spots so you can't even see why it's happening. (Get my program WHY MEN PULL AWAY if you want to finally understand why.)

Sure, those good times feel great. Sure, he's got a ton of potential. But there's more to life than potential that breaks your heart every single day, more to life than tears and loneliness and waiting for something to change.

Whatever happened to the woman you used to be who would NEVER allow herself to be treated this way?

Love,

Jane

Whatever happened to her? We all have our stories, our reasons why we've settled for the things that we do. Share yours here in the comments so we can make her more than just a memory again. I want to bring you back to the woman you used to be who stands in her power and NEVER allows herself to be treated this way!

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