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A Christmas Wish

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My wish for you this year is the same wish I always have, which is that you will realize just how much worth you really do have, how much you deserve and that you will know that what you attract into your life is all about how much you really feel this about yourselfIt's Christmas. And it's been awhile since you've heard from me. I've been down with the worst flu I think I've ever had, and we've traveled 14 hours on the road to celebrate Christmas with extended family, which is why I haven't posted in while. But although my energies have been focused elsewhere for the past week, you have all been in my thoughts and my heart along the way.

I wanted to let you all know that I am so grateful for each and every one of you who allow me to inspire, support and encourage you, and make whatever small contribution I can toward making your life and this world a better place for everyone.

My wish for you this year is the same wish I always have; that you will realize just how much worth you really do have, how much you deserve and that you will know that what you attract into your life is all about how much you really feel this about yourself and understand that it is true!  And in believing in yourself this way, in understanding that you really do have so much to offer, so much to give, you will show someone how to treat you, and you let them know what is required of them to be in a relationship with you.

Because this Christmas, wherever you are, whatever you're going through, whatever you happen to be feeling right now, this moment is about you. And what you make of it, what you choose to do with it, is entirely up to you. You, my beautiful friend, are worth so much and deserve all the best love and life have to offer you. May you see that love reflected back at you wherever you are today.

Merry Christmas!

Love,

Jane

The Most Special Gift of All

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We can't control who loves us, and all too often, we find ourselves with a deep longing to be loved by someone who isn't capable of giving us the love we are looking for from them. A beautiful woman opens a magical gift box.I could go on and on. And sometimes I do. Because this one is just that important. It's not about the gifts we give everyone else. It's not about the time we spend looking for that perfect gift for someone else. It's not about anything tangible. It's about you and what you deserve more than anything else in the world. Not just during this holiday season. But every day of the year.

To be loved.

We can't control who loves us, and all too often, we find ourselves with a deep longing to be loved by someone who isn't capable of giving us the love we are looking for from them. But at some point along this journey, we discover that it isn't just about a love that comes from outside of ourselves. It's about a love that comes from within. A love within ourselves that encompasses every dark place within us that doesn't yet understand that there is nothing within us that doesn't deserve to be loved.

We forget that it is in the embrace of our true selves that we find that love we are searching for. It is when we can finally stop beating ourselves up and stop focusing on what is wrong with us that we can finally move on to everything that is right with us. It's such a simple thing, but for so many of us who have had to work so hard to convince someone of our worth, it is anything but simple.

It's about a shift in consciousness.

It begins with an openness to seeing things differently, to being open to hearing something different. Then, it progresses to a gradual change within our level of consciousness to where we finally see that this isn't about getting someone to fall in love with us, to love us the way we've been longing to be loved our whole lives. Instead, it's about understanding that we don't have to do anything to be loved; it's about embracing all that we are and looking deep inside to see if anything needs to change within ourselves so that we can shine through as the person we really are.

So we accept our strengths and our weaknesses; we decide what we want more of and what we could use less of, and we take steps to make those positive changes to bring out the best in ourselves. And then, with practice, with focusing on ourselves like this, we learn more about what we are capable of, what we want to do, what we enjoy and what makes us feel truly alive. We learn more about what we don't want, what we don't need.

We learn about what we are no longer willing to settle for.

And somewhere along the way, we realize this has so much more to do with us and our way of thinking than it has to do with any him. And that's when we suddenly find ourselves liking who we see in the mirror. She's not perfect, but we're able to see past all those things we used to loathe and actually begin to like what we see and see the potential in ourselves for once, and not in another him. And as this becomes a new way of seeing ourselves, with gentleness and acceptance where once there was only loathing and judgment, we begin to attract and start attracting something different. We can see past the man who says and does all the right things, but has no substance to his charm. And we can finally accept someone who actually treats us like gold.

That's the kind of love that is waiting for you, my beautiful friend; when you discover where it all begins, at that place of you and your heart with a love for yourself and all that you are like you never knew before.

Filling the Void

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A beautiful woman sids under a tree in autumn feeling sad and lonely.
It's like an awkward silence.

Frequently, whether we're currently in a relationship or we're single, we find ourselves looking for something, longing for something, and we're not sure exactly what it is. We're feeling empty inside, like there's a hollow space within us that we are desperately looking to fill in any way that we can.

So often what we’re really looking for is ourselves.  We’ve gone so far away from our true selves that we don’t even know who we are anymore, much less that we are anything worth being with. We've done so much changing to fit what he wanted us to be, or what we thought he wanted us to be, that we don't even know who we are anymore.

We’ve drifted so far away from who we really are that it’s uncomfortable, like an awkward silence, when we’re alone with no one to make us feel worthy.  Without someone else in our lives to make us feel validated, to make us feel chosen, to make us feel worthy, we find ourselves searching for that missing piece of us, for something to fill that void, something to make us feel whole, complete.

The point that we're completely missing is that we are whole; we are complete, in and of ourselves, without anyone else, without a guy. We don’t need anyone else to make us ok.

But that’s not how we feel.  Whether it’s how we’re brought up or from the messages we receive from our culture, from our peer groups, from our families, from our schools, we’re given the opposite message: that there is something wrong with us.

And then all it takes is a relationship or two with someone who wasn’t a whole person himself to confirm that message so deep within us that we’re not worthy, that there is indeed something wrong with us, and that rejection further cements our unconscious belief that we need something outside of ourselves to complete us.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth. The reality is we don’t need anyone to complete us. We don’t need anyone or anything outside of ourselves to validate us, make us a whole, to prove our worthiness. The reality is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with us. We’re not damaged goods.

It may be difficult to believe this, at first, but if you keep reminding yourself you will finally begin to believe the truth – that you are beautiful, you have so much worth, and you deserve to be loved and treated with respect and kindness.

And you are complete within yourself.

Because it's only when we really understand this truth, that we are complete within ourselves, that we are able to be a part of a healthy relationship with someone else.

You Deserve to be Loved!

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A beautiful woman is being hugged
We all do.

We all have inherent belief systems, as a result of our early programming, that greatly affect us throughout our lives into adulthood. For a variety of reasons, one of the most prevalent is that we don’t deserve to be loved, and it's this particular one that has the most negative effect on the quality of the relationships that we have.

It’s the belief system that you might not even realize is playing in the back of your mind, in your subconscious, as it subtly reminds you day after day that you are bad, there's something wrong with you, don’t deserve to be happy, and, worst of all, you don’t deserve to be loved!Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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