Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

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Is he a player?

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Woman sad over breakup looking at mobile phone on the city bus wondering why he doesn't love her
Do I trust my gut?

Lauren wrote to me this week asking for some quick advice on whether to bail or not on an intoxicating relationship that's activating her "spidey senses". Read what she wrote and my answer below.

Her email:

Hi Jane,

This might be really similar to questions you've already answered on the blog, but I would love your help and wisdom!

Here it goes:

I've been on two dates with this guy. The physical chemistry is amazing and honestly pretty intoxicating. He's charming, funny and one of those ambitious entrepreneur guys (who has way too busy of a schedule, I'm beginning to wonder).Continue Reading

What do you ACTUALLY need?

21 Comments

Beautiful blond woman feeling rejected after guy disappeared.
Sometimes what you think you want is not what you actually need.

The biggest breakthroughs in my coaching practice happen when you realize what you actually need, not just what you're so used to saying you want.

I lived almost my entire single life saying I wanted one thing when I really wanted something very different, so I'm really good at helping you see these things when you can't see them for yourself. Usually, I end up confirming what you know in your heart you've needed all along, but the way it looks when it finds you can be very confusing because it's not what you expected it to be.

See if this makes it any clearer for you.Continue Reading

Can I trust him when he wants to "take it slow"?

19 Comments

Portrait of young happy woman in front of couple embracing each other
He says he needs to date other women to be sure.

Beautiful Emma wants a committed, exclusive relationship with her boyfriend of almost three months, but he doesn't. Ever been there?

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane... I love your work.

I know you've talked about these types of men before but I'm hoping you can help me with the following issue:

I've been seeing this guy I met online for, maybe, 2.5 months (not exclusive). We have a great connection.Continue Reading

He Was Super Into Me, Now He Says He Doesn't Want a Relationship

5 Comments

A beautiful woman is looking at her ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend, wondering why he wouldn't commit to her.
And now I think he's with another woman!

Have you ever had a guy tell you how amazing you are, only to leave you brokenhearted? You're not alone. Beautiful Shaye shares her experience with a certain type of guy I think most of us have run into at least once.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I’m 21, and consider myself very different. I graduated in 2.5 years with a chemistry degree, I’m headed to med school, I don’t drink.

Well I met a guy at the end of March on Bumble, who acted completely in awe of me every. single. day. He told me he had been in a bad wreck and it completely changed his mentality, and was glad I didn’t know who he was before the accident.

I was hoping he was different than other college guys.

I was a bit uncomfortable with his new frat, and sometimes the drinking. He said I completed him and I was all he ever wanted. Seems pretty soon to say that, but okay.Continue Reading

You Know When it Happens?

3 Comments

A beautiful woman is feeling lonely and sad, feeling as though nothing will ever change.
It's so hard to believe anything could possibly be any different.

You know when it happens for you, Beautiful? The moment right after you think it won't.

The very next moment after you think all hope is lost, that nothing's ever going to change for you, that you're simply destined to be alone forever, that you're simply one of the unlucky ones and that's never going to change.

That's when.

We think we'll know when we're getting close. That we'll somehow hear that voice along the way that tells us it's right around the corner.

But, Beautiful, it doesn't happen like that. Right up to the moment right before you know for sure, you won't believe anything could possibly be any different.

Until it is.

I hear this all the time.Continue Reading

He's Everything I've Ever Wanted, but I Don't Feel the Spark

7 Comments

 

A beautiful woman is thoughtful, wondering if she needs to feel the spark.
I just don't feel the butterflies that much.

Our letter this week comes from our beautiful reader, Kristina, who's found herself in a relationship with a guy who's checking off all kinds of boxes for her, but not the one's she's used to.

She's wondering where to go from here and I'm hoping my advice, along with your experience or thoughts on this ever-returning subject of "the Spark" will give her the clarity she's looking for.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

I have never done anything like this. I really hope to receive a response, or to at least receive some notification if you make a blog post. Regardless, if you are reading this, thank you for your time.

I have just read your post about the elusive spark and how you say that it is not something that matters because it goes away anyway. It was so incredibly helpful.

Additionally, reading all the comments and seeing how many women struggle with the same thing, made me feel much better too.Continue Reading

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