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Be Strong

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Face your own fears.A beautiful brunette woman in a blue blouse and black skirt is punching her fist in the air, showing that she is strong and confident and is ready for commitment.

Sometimes, even when we find the love of our lives, the guy who we’ve been looking for, the man who meets our clear definition of Mr. Right, something comes up that we weren’t expecting. Something called fear. Also known as insecurity in disguise. We’re terrified. It turns out that in the past we’ve chosen the kinds of guys that aren’t about commitment because it was safe. It never was going to work out so we never had to face our own fears about being in a committed relationship. Maybe we were choosing these guys and then staying with them because we’re a little afraid of committing, too. Maybe we felt safer being with someone who wouldn’t commit to us because it meant we didn’t have to face our own fears about commitment.

I remember someone once suggested that to me, and at first, I doubted it. He’s the one who’s scared, right? Not me. But then I gave it more thought. And realized that deep down, I might be scared, too. And maybe, as much as I thought I was ready to be in a real committed relationship, as much as I talked about it, dreamed about it, well, maybe it was more the fantasy of it than the reality that I was interested in. Even though I didn’t know it or understand it at the time. And when I did finally meet my true love, I realized just how many fears I had about giving so much of myself to someone. When there was no turning back. When it came time to say “I do”. When I realized I was in it for the long haul. That it wasn’t just another relationship like all the others. I was terrified.Continue Reading

Letting Go of the Fear

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A beautiful blond woman looks fearful, worried that she be forever alone and no one will love her.  I remember that feeling oh so well. The fear that would come after reading yet another book, after hearing yet another speaker. There always seemed to be something else I was supposed to be doing, or not doing. Something else I was doing wrong. And that's when it would set in. The fear.

What if I had missed my chance by not doing what I was supposed to be doing? What if it was too late and I had already sealed my fate?

I couldn't shut out the fear. The fear of being alone forever and never finding someone who would love me for me.

Whenever I was alone it would set in and I would just wallow in this big giant lake of doubt, drowning in it. With every new book I was only finding myself growing more and more fearful that I would never be able to figure it out and finally get it right!

I just wasn't getting it at all, and sometimes I felt like I was even going backwards.

Did that mean it was all over for me – or at least in this lifetime?

Ackkk!

It was a downward spiral.

So much to focus on, so much to not focus on, so much to try to change, so much programming to try to reverse.  It just felt overwhelming.

Once again I was believing that everyone else has it in them but me. Everyone else must be able to do this except me.

And so I felt more alone, more scared, more doubtful and more fearful that I would ever get this right. I was caught in a downward spiral.

Until I read that I just needed to stop being afraid. Completely overwhelmed, I surrendered to God, to the Universe, to whatever it is that's out there and let it be known that I just couldn't do this anymore. I was tired of being afraid.

Then something clicked.

It was like a light switch suddenly being turned on.

And that's when I started to live. I realized that this fear had been such a central part of my life that had been controlling so many of my decisions (and indecisions). Something about recognizing it, acknowledging it, realizing the hold it had on me and finally surrendering to it brought it down to size. It was then on a level that I could see it clearly without letting it rule my life.

I could now acknowledge those fears as they came up, but I was in control now of how much I would allow them to affect me or how much I would believe what they were saying. I could finally look them in the eye and tell them they were wrong.

I knew the truth.

I was lovable, I was beautiful, I was attractive, I was worthy, and I did deserve to be loved. I was finally able to see this for myself, no matter what those nasty voices of fear were whispering in my ear.

And I want to tell you right now, in no uncertain terms, that it's the same for you, my beautiful friend. All of your doubts and fears don't have to control you and your life for even one more moment. It's time to see just how much control you have over those fears. It's time to acknowledge them, accept them for what they are, and then let them go.

They are not you. They don't define who you are.

They are only the manifestation of our culture, the media, the well-meaning people in your life, and your past programming. They can no longer dictate what happens to you.

Living with fear at the root of your reality is no way to live.

I know it and you know it.

It all begins with that same simple word – enough.

Acknowledge, accept, and then let it go. Fear is only as big as we make it in our minds and that's the only place it exists. There is so much more to life and love than this, and there is so much more to come for you.

Don't let those fears get in the way of all that you deserve, all that you already have, and all that is still waiting for you.

That First Step

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You don't need to settle like this. You do have worth. You don't have to prove your worthiness to receive love. It's not in everyone else except you; it's all there, in you! A beautiful woman is taking that first adventurous step across the water into the unknown.You know you don't want to settle anymore. You know it's time to start focusing on what you really want, and deserve, and to start making this about you and not about any him.

But even as you know all this, even as you know in your head so clearly what you need to do, the reality is your beautiful heart, the heart that knows how to give so much better than how to receive, doesn't even know where to begin. Or if it really even wants to begin.

So you stay.

Or you think about making changes, but you don't know where to begin, so you stay right where you are because if feels comfortable. Giving yourself away, even if it doesn't serve you and all that you are very well. At least it's what you're used to.

At least it's predictable. Even if it's unpredictable, at least it's predictably unpredictable.

But sometimes, you get a glimpse. Just a small one, but still some glimpse that there might be something more out there for you. Something better, something more on an equal level, something that might be a whole lot closer to what you know deep down in that beautiful heart of yours you really deserve. But then that fear comes again. That familiar fear that keeps you staying right where you are, settling for less than you know you deserve because, after all, the fear of the unknown always seems so much worse than the less than ideal reality of what you're living now. And besides, most of the time, you manage to convince yourself it really isn't that bad, it could be worse, and besides it's so much better than being alone. Continue Reading

7 Things I've Learned About Men Who Are Afraid Of Commitment

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Green freeway sign with Commitment written on it.
Are we wasting our time? Or will he be different from the rest?

It's happened again.

Just when you thought you were done with attracting yet another guy with commitment issues, you've found yourself once again in a relationship with an incredible guy that has all the wonderful potential only you can see, if only he would commit!

How does this happen?

How do we keep repeating this pattern over and over again no matter how much we think we are finally done with men with this MO?

Once again, we find ourselves with a dilemma with no clear answers; how long do we wait around to see if he is going to commit to us and the relationship?

Are we wasting our time? Or will he be different from the rest? We so want to believe this will be the case!

It can be such a difficult pattern to break when we're attracting the wrong guys until we uncover the root cause of why we are finding guys like this so attractive in the first place. And most of the time it really is us attracting these types of men. It can feel as though we have a unique sense that only seems to know one direction to go in.

His.Continue Reading

3 Steps to Bring Passion into Your Life

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A beautiful woman is smiling because she has passion in her life.
When you have passion, you're eyes will be smiling.

A while back I wrote a post about loving your life by always finding time to do what you love. In this post we’re going to go into that a little deeper, because it’s such an important topic.

Bringing love into your life starts with you – and it starts with loving your life.

And what makes you love your life? Passion.

The kind of passion we’re talking about here is the kind that makes you feel excited, alive, and enthusiastic. The kind that puts a skip in your step, and gives you smiling eyes.

The kind that makes you want to get out of bed early to spend time doing it, and makes you late for work because you lost track of time. The kind that gives you a zest for life.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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