Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

  • Categories
    • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Finding Love
    • Single Life
    • Inspiration
  • Programs
  • Work With Me
  • Contact Me
  • About
You are here: Home / Archives for not that into you

5 Signs He Really Is That Into You

6 Comments

While those things are certainly wonderful and oh so romantic, they’re not the true tell-tale signs that he’s in it for the long haul. Lots of guys can be over the top romantic when they're on the hunt. So you've gone out on several dates, he’s been very romantic, sending you flowers, taking you to wonderful restaurants, and generally sweeping you off of your feet. You’re starting to think you’d like to take the relationship to the next level. But how do you know he’s not just an experienced player that’s putting his time in until he’s had his fun, only to leave you in a dusty heap, brokenhearted once again while he goes back to cavorting with his buddies looking for his next conquest? How do you know he'll actually stick around if you allow yourself to get closer to him?

Well, forget about the flashy gifts, romantic poems, and serenading you beneath your window at midnight.  While those things are certainly wonderful and oh so romantic, they’re not the true tell-tale signs that he’s in it for the long haul. Lots of guys can be over the top romantic when they're on the hunt.  Here are the much more subtle signs that you should be on the lookout for if you want to know if your new guy is ever going to turn into real relationship guy material:

1.) He’s tries hard to make you happy

Men want to take care of a woman they care about. They’re wired for that – they want to do things for us, to protect us, provide for us and ultimately they want to make us happy. Guys are do-ers and they show us they care by doing things for us. If he waxes your car or changes your oil (or at least takes them in for you), or if he goes out of his way to make sure that he always has your favorite yogurt in his fridge when you come over, those are very good signs he's really into you. Bonus points if he brings you hot chicken noodle soup and a copy of Bridget Jones' Diary when you're on the couch feeling ill, gives you a kiss on the forehead, and then leaves you alone.

2.) He thinks you look great at your worst

When he looks at you the same way whether you're all dolled up for a night out on the town or it's Saturday morning and he sees you with no makeup, your hair pulled back, and wearing sweats, that's a good sign. All men love it when we do ourselves up for them, but it's the guy who's in it for real that still has eyes for us when we're in frumpy mode.

3.) He wants to show you off

He’s not hiding his Facebook page from you, and in fact, you’re predominately on it. A guy that's really into you wants the world to know it, and he has nothing to hide. You see, if he’s really into you then he’s not holding out hope that something better will come along, which means that there's no reason to hide the fact that the two of you are an item.

4.) He calls you often

And you actually have real conversations, talking about things like your personal history, what your childhood was like, where you went to school, what you like and don’t like to do, etc. It shows that he’s interested in more than just your beautiful curves and gorgeous eyes – he wants to know what’s behind those eyes and what makes them sparkle and shine. It shows that he actually cares about you, the person, not just you, the hottie.

5.) He introduces you to his buddies and his family

He’s not afraid to make you part of his life; in fact, he can't wait to introduce you to everyone that's close to him. He wants you to be a part of his life, and that means taking you to his favorite places and introducing you to his favorite people. You may not want to hang out with his friends or his family, but the fact that he wants you to is a sure sign he thinks you're a keeper.

If you see several (or, better yet, all) of these signs then you can feel very confident that your guy sees you as the real thing. And if he sees you as the real thing, he's very likely to commit to a real relationship with that beautiful woman otherwise known as you!

5 Ways To Be More Confident On A Date

2 Comments

5 ways to be more confident on a dateWe've all been there, those nervous hours (and for some of us that are more anxiety prone, days) before a date with a guy you either just met or recently started dating that you're just so, well, into. You want to make a good impression and you start obsessing about everything from your hair, to what on earth you're going to wear, to those extra few pounds that you want to lose so badly. It's enough to drive a beautiful single girl crazy, and for most of us that's exactly what it does.

Well, I've got good news for you – I'm going to give you a handful of go-to tools that you can use before that big date to get you ready to present him with your best, most confident, and, most importantly, calm self!

1. Make plans with friends or family.

Make sure you have plans for the hours before the date so that you will be distracted from over thinking things. So if your date is for Saturday night, connect up with a friend and head out for the afternoon so that you don't have too much time to stress about your upcoming date. Worst case, Mom always loves to see you – invite her out for brunch, shopping, or to check out that new art gallery you heard about. Make sure that whatever you're doing together leaves you with just a bit more time than it takes you to get ready for the date, so you won't be stressed getting ready but you also won't have time to obsess over the little things.

If you're stuck and everyone you know is otherwise engaged, then spend the time on your own enjoying something you love doing. You'll get a bonus if the activity involves exercising – the endorphin rush will give you a mood boost to last throughout the date. The point is that being busy and spending time with friends or doing something you love will elevate your mood and put you in the right mindset to feel relaxed and happy during your date, and that's very attractive.

2. Picture it going well.

While you're getting ready for the date, imagine yourself with him feeling very relaxed and comfortable like being out with one of your longtime friends. The two of you are talking easily, laughing together, he enjoys being with you and you're really connecting. Think of a great time you had with a good friend and picture it feeling just like that (only better). The better you can visualize the date, the better it will be.

3. Focus on something other than yourself.

When we focus on ourselves, how we're speaking, what we're saying, where our hands are, etc., we become overly self-conscious and this tends to make us nervous. Instead focus on him; if he's talking really hear what he's saying, and make sure your response has nothing to do with you. For example, if he's telling you a story about his dog acknowledge his story first (Oh, that's such a cute story!) then ask him more details – what kind of dog? How long has he had it? etc. before delving into the story about your own dog or the one you had as a kid.

We're all guilty of thinking about what we can tell someone about ourselves while they're in the middle of telling us their story (many times we're even scripting our own story in our head while he's talking – don't worry, it's natural). If you spend your time focusing on him and what he's saying instead of yourself, you'll learn more about him and you'll be less nervous – a win-win. Once he's clearly through with talking, or better yet, asks you about yourself, then you can tell him your own cute dog stories.

4. Remember it's supposed to be fun.

Remind yourself that dating is supposed to be fun, and if you're so worried about every little thing you say or every little detail about how you look or what you're wearing, then it's not fun. So spend some time looking and feeling your best, know that you are looking and feeling your best, then stop worrying about it. You did everything you can do. Now it's just a matter of seeing if the date is actually fun and if there's enough compatibility to justify date number two (hint: there always should be, unless there was one of these dealbreakers).

The point is, just be yourself and know that if he's not that into you then it's a blessing. You only want to be with men that are into you the way you really are. Otherwise, you have to be something different your entire life, and that's no fun.

5. Remember that you're doing the choosing.

Last but not least, always remember that you're in the position of doing the choosing. He may seem like he's the perfect guy for you, but remind yourself that you really don't know much about him yet. Tell yourself that he still has to prove himself to you in order to win your precious heart – after all, you're not going to give it away to just anyone. Not to the point of making it seem like an interview or being standoffish -  but enough to make sure that you aren't putting him up on such an unrealistic pedestal that you feel like he's out of your league. He isn't; he's just a person, just like you are, and that's why you're here – to get to know more about each other so you can both decide if you are a good match.

With this type of healthy mindset you'll be much more confident going into and during the date. Being confident and self-assured is not only very attractive, but it's essential to keep yourself from falling for a guy who is actually not right for you.

What do you do to ease the pre-date jitters? Tell us about it in the comments!

3 Ways to Know He's a Keeper

2 Comments

A beautiful woman holding up three fingers indicating 3 signs he's a keeper.
These 3 things better be at the top of your "must have" list.

All too often we overlook the three most important essentials of a real relationship.

Looking back, these seem so obvious to me, but it wasn’t so clear back when I was dating.

Of all the qualities I was looking for in a guy, of all my “must haves” on my quest for finding my own Mr. Right, I didn’t pay nearly enough attention to the three things that I now realize are what actually really matter.

We all have our own lists of “must haves”, but these three should be at the top of everyone’s list.Continue Reading

The Case of the Disappearing Man

68 Comments

The case of the disappearing manWe've all been there – you've gone on a couple of dates, had a great time, then suddenly, as quickly as it started…silence. Nothing but crickets.

So why did it happen? Why did he just vanish from your life? Well, the truth is, it's because he wasn’t the guy for you. You may have felt it, but it wasn’t there for him.

Maybe he got scared, maybe he found someone else, or maybe he got back with an ex. The truth is it just doesn’t matter. For whatever reason, he decided he’s not the one for you. And that’s good news. Because if he stuck around and you built a foundation around him, and then it crumbled, it would be much, much worse.

I know you want to know the reason why, but what good would it do? Do you really want to hear the truth? That he didn’t find you attractive enough, smart enough, or secure enough? Just think through all of the possibilities, including that he found someone else or got back with an ex, and just go with the one that hurts the least.

And know that it's really a gift.

It’s actually a gift that he didn’t tell you why – because now you’re in control. You can decide why it ended. It’s him, not you (it really is). And then you can truly move on, and on your own terms. And moving on is the best thing you can do.

If it’s been 4 or 5 days and he hasn’t called, and before that he was calling you every other day or even every day, then the reality is that you don’t want him to call. Because it’s been too long. If he calls now and you’re OK with it, then you’re going backwards. You’re becoming a doormat.

Don’t be a doormat.

If he calls now and you ream him out for it, and tell him you’ll never accept that kind of behavior again, he might change and start calling you more often. But do you really want a guy who calls you because he doesn’t want to get yelled at? No. You want a guy who calls you because he loves you, and he really likes talking to you. And that guy is out there. Tell Mr. didn’t call for 4 or 5 days that it’s been too long and you’ve moved on. Then move on with your respect and self-esteem intact.

And then go out and find a guy that actually likes to talk to you.

14 Warning Signs That He’s Not That in to You

221 Comments

Image of a man who looks like a player showing signs he's not into you.
If you want a real relationship, then watch out for these warning signs.

When I look back at all the relationships that didn't work out (that I so wanted to at the time), I realize that in every case, there were early warning signs that my guy gave me that could have given me some idea of the heartbreak I was going to experience if I had only been aware of what to look for.

So, to spare you from what happened to me, to give you the inside scoop on what you can be on the lookout for, here’s my list of the warning signs that I didn't heed. Fortunately, you still can.

Here they are, in no particular order …

1.) He doesn't call you when he says he will.

Granted, I know that sometimes life can get it the way, and if he’s working late on that big project with the looming deadline it’s possible that time might get away from him once in a while.

But if this happens more than once or twice, it’s a sure sign that you’re just not a priority for him right now.Continue Reading

The REAL Reason He Hasn’t Called

114 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at her phone wondering why he hasn't called.
If he hasn't called yet, this is probably why.

I remember it like it was just yesterday.

The conversation my single girlfriends and I would have over and over again. Whenever one of us had just gone on a first or second date, or had been in a slow moving relationship with the typical non-committal guy we were in denial about.

The conversation always inevitably came around to “Why hasn’t he called?” 

It was always spoken with that combination of sadness and desperation, with a little trace of hope salted in.

We could have had a ringtone on our phones for it. It was the tribal rallying cry, calling all of us together in support of the one whose turn it was to live it.

And then the conversation would begin, with us rehashing every single detail of what we had said and done, what he had said and done.

Every possible piece of conversation, body language, tone, nuance, and action was meticulously scrutinized as we tried to piece together the answer to that question that was eluding us once again: why hasn't he called?Continue Reading

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • Next Page »

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR MAILING LIST AND I’LL SEND YOU THIS GIFT!

Make Him Adore You Send me the video!

Programs

About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Join Me On Facebook!

Getting to True Love

Popular Posts

A beautiful woman is being hugged

Will He Ever Want a Committed Relationship? 3 Signs He Might

Image of a man who looks like a player showing signs he's not into you.

14 Warning Signs That He’s Not That in to You

Attractive young woman awaits a phone call. wondering why he hasn't called.

The Worst Thing You Can Do When He Hasn't Called

A beautiful woman is upset because of the way her boyfriend treats her as he watches TV.

Why He Treats You the Way He Does

You're the one who really has tried everything to get him to come around and fully commit. You're the one who's given him more than enough time to come around and finally make the commitment . A beautiful woman is upset that her boyfriend won't give her the commitment she wants.

The Worst Thing You Can Do When He Won't Commit

If you've let him know that you expect the same level of commitment from him that you've given him, and he can't give you the commitment that you're looking for, then there’s only one thing for you to do. A clock is showing that it's time to move on.

Your Best Response When You're Not Getting the Commitment You Want

A beautiful woman is looking at her ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend, wondering why he wouldn't commit to her.

Why He'll Commit to Her, But Not to You

A beautiful woman looks at her phone wondering why he hasn't called.

The REAL Reason He Hasn’t Called

A man telling a woman he just wants to be friends. They are standing in a park on a path, out of focus, with the camera looking through branches.

He Just Wants To Be Friends

Green freeway sign with Commitment written on it.

7 Things I've Learned About Men Who Are Afraid Of Commitment

As Seen On…

Latest Tweets

Tweets by @JaneGarapick

Recent Comments

  • Heather on Why No Contact NEVER works and what to do instead
  • Emma Verhoog on The Difference Between Giving Up Too Soon and Giving Up Too Much
  • Jin on Three Things You Can Do When He’s Getting Emotionally Distant
  • stavkapro on Your Best Response When You're Not Getting the Commitment You Want
  • Turning Your YouTube Channel Into a Cash Flow. on The REAL Reason He Hasn’t Called
  • Snehal on My Boyfriend Fell Out of Love With Me

Calendar

May 2025
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Oct    

Copyright © 2025· Getting to True Love, LLC · All rights reserved · Privacy Policy · Refund Policy · Terms of Service

We use cookies to ensure you receive the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are okay with our terms :)Got it!