Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
The subject line of her email said it all. "I am incapable of a successful relationship."
I'm answering Tina's email on the blog today because I hear from so many of you who've come to the same conclusion and you've all but given up any hope of changing this. You're in the right place because I find hope out of hopelessness despite what you can't yet see, so stay with me here. If you've ever felt like this, I've got so much hope for you today!
Hi Jane,Continue Reading
You know how you stay 'just a little longer' to see if he's going to change? And then you're afraid not to stay in case you miss that change?
That's the familiar scenario I'm talking about here. This is what happens when we wait it out, not realizing the time that passes in the meantime and the days that turn to months and then years.
This is why she wrote to me with the title, subject 'It's been 10 years'. If you've been here you know how it happens and how 'I'll just see how it goes' turns into 10 long years.Continue Reading
All those things you think you should have done differently, everything you think would have made all the difference in the world, the truth is it wouldn't have changed a thing.
Because if someone has such impossible expectations of you to expect that you are only worthy if you are perfect, then believe me, you don't want any part of them!
You've tried being everything to all people and especially his kind of people.
Where has it gotten you? Has it brought you any closer to the kind of love you yearn for?
Or has it only brought you more pain, more hurt, more trying to measure up to someone else's standards who, for all their potential in the world, likely has no clue about love?Continue Reading
She said she can’t let go. She needs him to let her go instead because she’s not strong enough to do it.
Okay, so I hear her and I hear all of her echoing where you are and what you feel. The pull you feel is too strong. The good stuff you get from this guy is too good and the bad stuff, while it breaks your heart, well, you can justify it as long as you keep focusing on the good parts.
So here’s what you need to hear today if you’re going to change this. Because no, he's not going to change this. He's not going to be the one to let you go if he hasn't already.
Why would he? Girl, he's got it soooo good with you!
Do this instead.Continue Reading
How do you let go and move on when you don’t really want to?
How do you stop caring when all you do is care?
Every day on my calls, this topic of letting go and moving on inevitably comes up in our conversations. Today I’m sharing with you what my beautiful clients have taught me about what works and what doesn’t from their first-hand experience of letting go and moving on when it’s the last thing you want to do, but the only thing left TO do.
On your prettiest paper, with your most colorful pen, write down all the ways he made you feel awful, all the things he did that hurt you, and all the reasons you knew you’d have to eventually let him go.
You’re going to remember all the good things about someone much more than you’ll ever recall all those things that made you feel sad and anxious and hurt.
If you write down all the bad things, you’ll have a reference when all the good things come up and you’re tempted to once again give him the benefit of the doubt or excuse his behaviors if only he would take you back and you could try again with him.Continue Reading
Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful readers from around the world, Ilyana. She's confused about her ex and her current boyfriend who used to be her ex and what to do with both of them. See if you can guess what my advice to her is going to be!
Hi Jane,
Sorry my English is not so good. But so, I wanted to ask you something.
I'm in a relationship and with this guy I'm in a relationship with, I had a break up 4 months ago up because I thought I felt in love with another guy who is my colleague and we work together but I broke up with him too because he was so jealous and he made me cry.
He wanted to know my past how many boyfriends I had and I thought I was not good enough for him. Then I decided to leave him but he kept calling me and he texts me and now I feel so confused because I'm back with my ex.Continue Reading
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