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He says he just wants to hookup – what should I do?

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A romantic couple having a serious conversation on the beach in winter.
He told me he can't offer me than occasional hookups.

I know today's letter is going to resonate with so many of you who've been here before!  Our beautiful friend, Janine, is trying to decide whether to get out now or to accept the terms of a guy she's fallen for who can only give her occasional once-a-month hookups. I know what I think she should do and I'm sharing it with you so you can know too!

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

Firstly, I must say how I love the pearls of wisdom you impart in your blog & on social media. After a break-up at the end of 2020….& with my current situation….so much of what you write and say really resonates with me.

Jane, I have got myself into a ‘casual’ relationship the last couple of months.

Met a man while I was away on holiday at the end of October, we have caught up twice since, even though we live 3 hours apart. We also text msg or talk on the phone most nights.

Last week I spent 3 nights with him at his place.  On the last night while I was there he told me he can’t offer me more than what we’ve got now - the occasional hook-up, once a month.Continue Reading

The Advice You Won't Hear Anywhere Else

86 Comments


Among all the voices that say "leave him", "dump him", etc., there lies the reality of you.

The loving, giving beautiful soul you are that knows exactly what you "should" do. They make it sound so simple, but it doesn't feel anything like simple to you. It feels heartbreaking, and so very sad, and not at all what you want to do.

How do I just walk away from someone I love?

Yes, exactly. How do any of us? It's the question you want to know the answer to.

Oh your friends have so much advice for you. In fact, even complete strangers only have to hear a few minutes of your situation before they have the same advice to offer you. How can you stay with someone who gives you so little of his time? How can you want to be with someone who can't give you a straight answer as to when, let alone if, he might someday be ready to commit to you?

They  make it sound so easy, so simple, but to you with so much of your heart, your life and your time invested, it's anything but easy.

In fact, it's the hardest thing you ever tried to do.

And how can it not be? He promised so much. He gave you so many reasons to believe. He made you feel like he was on the same page as you. He talked about the same things. He said he wanted the same things.

He made you feel like all that was missing was you.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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