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Am I overreacting?

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Beautiful-woman-snow-contemplative
I'm not sure if I'm over-reacting but I do feel hurt.

Our letter today comes from Angie, who's wondering if she's overreacting to hearing her newly widowed boyfriend isn't ready to include her in his family holiday plans. Here's what she wrote to me:

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I'm a 48 year old woman dating a 50 year old widow (his wife passed 2 years ago).  I have been dating him for 7 months.

I have only met his teen kids once (despite him being at my house a lot with my teen kids). He mentioned Christmas and that he won't see me as he will go to his parents house with his kids for both Christmas Eve/Christmas Day (which I am ok with).

He also said I won't see him on his birthday, December 28th as it's his birthday and he will spend it with his kids.  He will visit me early evening and stay over.

I'm not sure if I'm over-reacting but I do feel hurt about his birthday - it feels as though he just wants to keep me away from his kids - but then turns up to spend the evening with me.  He is kind and loving to me and always call/texts etc.

Signed,

- AngieContinue Reading

Why do you even bother?

9 Comments

A beautiful woman is leaning on a railing against a sunset, disappointed she hasn't heard from her boyfriend.
What's your reason?

That's my question for you today.

Why do you even bother?

With so many discouraging moments, so many disappointments, why do you still bother to try?

Because you've got a reason. Even if you've forgotten it up til now.

It's there somewhere, giving you hope, keeping you believing in something changing in your life for you even if it's so hard to see.

There's a reason I'm asking you this today. I want YOU to hear from yourself WHY you still bother. Why you haven't given up all hope of your life ever being different, why you're still here.

I want to stir up some excitement, some passion left in you. Some determination, some motivation to finally crack your own code for why you still have enough hope to come back here every time.

What's your reason?

There's something stronger than you believe you are that's not giving up on your story ending here. What is that? What does that look like for you?

Don't underestimate the power of you knowing your why, your reason that STILL gives you hope even if it's not always obvious to you.

There's a reason, girl. Time to remember what yours is!

Take a moment to think about this and then put it down in the comments. It makes all the difference in the world when you say it out loud and write it down right there in front of you!

Love,

Jane

What's your why?

16 Comments

The words what's your why written on white paper.
It's the most important question you can answer.

That's it.

That's the most important question you can answer that's going to bring you the results you're looking for.

Every day, you tell me your stories of why you do the things you do, why you can't stop doing those things, why what you believe is just the way it is and why you've given up on hoping it's ever going to be any different for you.

I listen. And then I ask you that most important question you NEED to answer before ANYTHING is going to be different for you.

Why?

Why are you too old?

Why are you so unique that you're going to be the one person that never finds anyone while everyone else does?Continue Reading

What do you ACTUALLY need?

21 Comments

Beautiful blond woman feeling rejected after guy disappeared.
Sometimes what you think you want is not what you actually need.

The biggest breakthroughs in my coaching practice happen when you realize what you actually need, not just what you're so used to saying you want.

I lived almost my entire single life saying I wanted one thing when I really wanted something very different, so I'm really good at helping you see these things when you can't see them for yourself. Usually, I end up confirming what you know in your heart you've needed all along, but the way it looks when it finds you can be very confusing because it's not what you expected it to be.

See if this makes it any clearer for you.Continue Reading

Doors

33 Comments

Many home white door open in cloudy sky
Open the one that's right for you.

I've been talking about this a lot on my calls lately.

That's right. Doors.

Like that door you keep trying so hard to open?

You know, the one you keep pounding on that STILL won't open, no matter what you do.

Well, what's behind it isn't yours!

Go knock on another door. And another. Don't keep wasting your time.

If it's not opening, it's not a sign to try harder, to be more, to do more, to make it the mountain you choose to die on out of principle.

It's not meant to be!

The one that opens? Fling it open with arms wide open, Girl.

THAT'S the one for you! ❤️

Love,

Jane

I know someone needed this today. Let me know in the comments if it was you!

It's a Red Flag Every. Single. Time.

10 Comments

Woman and man sitting on a curb breaking up, man with his head in his hands
Because you need to know.

When he says "Let's see where it goes", the reality is it's a red flag every single time. Even though YOU think it’s reasonable because, well, "I don't even know!"

Here's the truth.

It’s not reasonable. It’s not.

It’s not an opening to what could be the most amazing relationship of your life – the one with Mr. Right.

And yes, that’s even if you don’t even know if this is the guy you want or the relationship you want until YOU “see where it goes.”

Here’s why.

You know why you’re here. You know what you’re looking for.

You're looking for a relationship – a real one – even if you’re not either going to be committing to someone who isn’t ultimately compatible with you.Continue Reading

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