Getting to TRUE Love

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One Question

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A beautiful woman is sitting at a table frustrated, questioning herself.
This is what you have to ask yourself.

I have one question for you today.

Do you have people in your life who actually see you? Who embrace you, who celebrate you? The real you - not the image you put out there because that's who you've been told you are, but the actual you?

Since you're here, I'm assuming you've only known relationships with men who were never the right ones for you, who had no place in your life.

I want to change that for you.

We need to create some semblance of what it feels like to be loved and accepted and adored for you. If you've never experienced anything like this before, we're going to start fresh as if today is the first day of the new you.

The you who loves to dance, who loves to move, who hears the music all around you and believes in a different world from the one you've been through.Continue Reading

Why This Year Is Going to Be Different

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Woman making personal transformation in her life, leaving an old life behind and looking forward to a new better one.
It's time for a brand new start!

Remember last January? 2020 was supposed to be your year.

The year that would be different.

The year that was supposed to give way to your dreams, your plans.

It was supposed to be the year you met him, or the year you finally left him, or the year you went back to school, the year you got that promotion, the year you quit your job, the year you stood up to him, the year you stopped letting what everyone thinks of you control so much of your life.Continue Reading

Am I Blocking Love?

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A beautfiul woman is feeling anxiety over asking for what she needs.
I think I may be sabotaging my own love life.

Our letter this week comes from Maya, who's wondering if she may be blocking love from her life.

Here's what she had to say and my response:

Hello Jane,

Thank you for all the great emails and answers I have read till now. They are really helpful to get more and more insight.

I would really like to know your idea about this since I feel I need an outer perspective.

In short, a bit of my background.

Growing up I became a people-pleaser to avoid violence. And I got scared and always looked outside myself for love, running after men. Of course with the wrong results.

Went from abusive men to boring men.Continue Reading

How You Get The Guy For REAL

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A beautiful woman has her eyes closed representing a panic attack.
It's all about what you believe.

If it feels like you've been on this search for what seems like forever, you're not alone.

Everyone has their own version of what you're doing wrong, or what you need to be doing instead. Just ask anyone, and the number of different answers you get is enough to make anyone completely confused.

In all my years of coaching women of all ages, from all walks of life, in every corner of the world there's one common denominator that stands out.

What you believe.

The women who find love, who find what they're looking for in life, believe it's possible to find something good.

It may not seem like anything significant, because after all, how does something as intangible as what you believe translate into something as practical as meeting someone? For those of you who live and breathe the practical, the logical and the measurable, it seems almost laughable.

You know that relationship that broke your heart? Yeah, that one ...

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Beautiful woman looking out the window on a rainy day, wondering if it serves her.
This is the one that made that difference.

Don't you dare discount this relationship that didn't work out, that broke your heart as having happened for no reason at all.

It may not have turned out the way you hoped it would be. It might not have lived up to its potential that only you could see.

But girl, it wasn't nothing.

Don't ever discount each and every one of the relationships and experiences you've gone through as nothing. That has the effect of making you feel like nothing is happening behind the scenes for you.

That's NOT what's going on. Even if you can't see anything happening yet, that's still not what's going on.

Here's why I'm bringing this up right now. See, this woman I've been coaching for awhile now has been through just about everything. Every type of guy, especially the "so much potential" kind.Continue Reading

The Mindset that Changes Everything

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A beautiful woman is stretching and smiling because of her new love mindset
What a difference a simple mindset change can make!

You know all those things you don't do? All those opportunities you don't take? All those times your fear of saying the wrong thing or coming across as too forward, too desperate or too needy hold you back from saying anything at all?

There's a reason we don't act. There's a reason we don't take our chances. There's a reason our fears around coming across in a less than perfect way keeps us from saying or doing anything at all.

I had a call this week with a woman who needed help figuring out how to find out if a guy she's been on a few dates with is for real, or not.

She discovered he may have some questionable history and yet he's not acting like he's got anything to hide. She's so conflicted about what to say and how to say it, she's not sure if she even wants to go out with him again. But she needs more information before she makes any decision.Continue Reading

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