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Is this you?

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sad woman walking on the city street at sunset
You mean I have a voice?

If you've never had someone model boundaries for you, if you've never learned how to find your own voice - and use it, there's something you need to know about finding it.

It's not easy. It won't feel natural. And you'll wonder if it's okay to have discovered this at all.

See, no one ever tells you how uncomfortable, how completely out of your comfort zone it’s going to be for you to learn a new language that includes the “I” statements you’ve never learned.

“I feel”.

“I need”.

“I want”.

“I hear”.

“I know”.

“I am”.

“I’m not”.

The list goes on and on.Continue Reading

Fear ... and Hope

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A beautiful woman covers her face with her hands because she is feeling afraid and lonely.
Yes, it can be scary, but know that it will pass.

Yes, it's scary.

Uncertainty. Fear. The Unknown.

There's been an overwhelming theme to all my calls with so many of you this week, and it's a reminder that we're all connected, feeling similar things regardless of where we find ourselves in this world of ours.

Thing have changed with the reality of Covid, the US elections that have brought up so many more feelings for all of us, and yet in the midst of all of what we're feeling and experiencing, life still must somehow go on.

But how?Continue Reading

If you don't fix THIS first, nothing else gets fixed either

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Woman sitting by a lake feeling all alone in her relationship.
You can't will yourself to make this easier.

It's usually after you've tried everything else that you find your way here.

When everyone else has made you feel so much worse for not being able to figure this whole life/love/relationships thing out on your own, and you can now add shame to everything else you feel.

Did they think you didn't want to be able to figure this out on your own?

Of course you did! It's no wonder you have to build up the courage to finally try again.

Maybe this time will be different, but do this enough times and it makes perfect sense why you've resorted to humor or sarcasm or just about any other coping mechanism to hide your pain.

Don't play this game anymore.

This going back to the same people you couldn't count on before to try to get some love and grace, only to feel once more that there's something wrong with you that you can't do the scariest thing; something (anything) different.Continue Reading

When all you feel is PRESSURE

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A beautiful woman holds her head questioning if she's in a healthy relationship.
That's your real worst fear, isn't it?

One of these days, Beautiful, you're going to get up enough nerve to finally do that thing you keep telling yourself you can't do. That thing you think you're not good enough to do. That thing that you think someone else will always be able to do better than you.

And you're going to go be that person you've always thought could only be someone else.

You're going to stop looking in the mirror so critically at everything you think you have to change first. You're going to stop looking at all those milestones someone arbitrarily decided for you.

And you're going to choose your own goals and plans and dreams instead of waiting to see if you can get enough approval for your own.

You can't do this with someone breathing over you (either figuratively or literally) telling you who you are or what you're supposed to be.Continue Reading

How are we all doing?

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A woman in a white cotton dress is walking through tall grass.
There will be another side to all of this.

I've heard all about your disappointments this week. All those things just getting started, now put on hold. People you just met, relationships just begun, plans you just made, now thrown for a curve.

It's hard to feel hopeful when all you feel is an undercurrent of uncertainty.

I hear you. And I see you.

Can you tear yourself away from the rest of the world and the never-ending breaking news cycle for just a moment, and come with me to a different place?

This is temporary. No matter how heavy it feels.

As unpredicatable as it is. As scary as it can feel. As permanent as it seems only right now.

All those beautiful dreams and plans are only on a temporary pause, Beautiful.

There will be another side to all of this.Continue Reading

The Elephant in the Room

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Beautiful woman sitting in chair faces her fear which is the elephant in the room behind her.
Let's bring the elephant out of the room and into the open.

How many times have you heard about someone just like you doing something you'd love to do but can't imagine how you would actually go about making that real for you?

I hear stories just like this from you all the time. You're too young, too old, not experienced enough, not educated enough, too much of an introvert, too nervous, not financially in a position to, not in a position to for so many other reasons, and when it comes right down to it, you're more than a little scared.

Isn't that what most of us feel? Scared?

Afraid to start something we might fail at? Afraid to have to answer to all those naysayers who said we should just play it safe because it makes them feel so much more comfortable when you're not giving them reason to wonder what might also be possible for them?

Here's where I'm going with this. I talk to women every day about all the things they'd rather be doing than what they're doing right now. Just the other day, I encountered a woman who met an old friend she hadn't seen in long time, and the conversation came around to how she could see her opening her own yoga studio.Continue Reading

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