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How Your 9 Year Old Self Ruined Your Love Life

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Young girl holding flowers looking at the sunset with hearts floating away.
She didn't know...

I'll be the first to agree that sometimes our "aha" moments come to us in the most unusual of places.

Like recently, when I was sitting in the audience at our local high school annual holiday concert.  Listening to the beautiful music being played and sung by these talented young students in the band, the choir, and the orchestra, I realized I had lived my own student years in all the wrong places.

Here in this place where the music touched my soul and made me feel like everything was all right in the world (and especially with me!) it all suddenly became so clear.

With a clarity I never had before, I realized exactly what happened during those formative years that now seem so long ago.

You see, without even knowing it, the words from my older, popular sister (who I secretly aspired to be like) had influenced where I went, where I didn't go, who I was friends with, and who I wasn't friends with.

Five years before me, when my older sister entered high school and had the option to choose band and choir or art and drama, I had overheard her and her friends referring to all the kids who took art and drama as cool and popular, while the ones taking band and choir were described as the opposite.

I never forgot their words.Continue Reading

The Best Way to Build Confidence

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A woman is dancing in the rain because of her confidence.
This one simple change will dramatically boost your confidence!

If it seems to you like everyone else has it all together, knowing just what to do to have a healthy relationship and making it look so easy in the process, while you're struggling along, feeling like there's something wrong with you, well, you're not alone.

I used to feel that way, too.  There always seemed to be someone who did relationships better than I did.

While I was constantly trying to figure someone out, trying to be the perfect girlfriend, figuring out whether I should try to give him some more space or show him just how excited I was about him, there was always someone I knew who had that amazing confidence about them and their particular relationship.

Just confidently being in it, seeing where it went and not putting all their focus and time and energy in it, just being normal about it.

And oh how I would envy her. I wanted to be that nonchalant, too.Continue Reading

He's Going to Fall For You

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He's going to fall for you, and when he does, he'll be falling for the real you; your essence. A beautiful woman is being herself looking up and smiling.Ladies, it's time to stop worrying about what you said or didn't say, what you did or didn't do, or any of those other regrets you have when you feel like things aren't going well. It doesn't matter.

None of those things really matter.

They are of no significance in the realm where the kind of attraction we're seeking takes place, where the true seeds of love are sown.

It's time to stand up for that inner person of you, instead of breaking her down. It's time to stop beating yourself up and being so hard on yourself. It's time to stop regretting all those things you do that you seem to have such a hard time not doing.

Dwelling on all of these only brings you down and makes you feel worse about yourself and your current state of affairs. It doesn't serve you one bit to stay in that place where there is no self-love, no remembering all that you are and all that you have to offer someone, no honoring of your you.

Because the point here is that when you cross paths with that special one who is looking for you as much as you are looking for him, it won't be those little things that you think are going to make or break the relationship. He won't be looking so closely at those things you love to hate about yourself; he'll be looking at who you are, what makes you uniquely you, the essence of you!

That's what attracts him, calls him over, causes him to take a second look in your direction. And that's what gets him to stay.

It's your aura, your energy, your essence.

And the more you are in touch with who you really are and all those aspects of your personality, your temperament, your heart, your soul, everything that is unique to you, the more someone looking for someone just like you will be able to see all of you come shining through. You see, the key to attracting someone who is worthy of our love, and all that we have to offer is to first see ourselves in the beautiful light of our very essence.

Exactly what attracts him to us is what we must first discover in ourselves. It's only when we see ourselves in this same light, with love and acceptance instead of hate and rejection, that he will be able to see us in this same way, too.

We all have those things about ourselves we want to change.

But there's a difference between loathing the person we see in the mirror and working towards becoming our best selves. One view knocks us down. The other view sees us rising to become the person we truly are underneath all the layers of our defenses and our pretenses.

It's time to stop all this focusing on everything outside of ourselves and come back in to that beautiful place deep inside that's been vacant for far too long. That place where the inner light of you gives up settling for the dim light of mediocrity and refuses to settle for anything less than the glorious illuminating light that is your birthright!

Find that essence within yourself and the one who's meant to find you will find it too. And when he falls for you, he'll be falling for the real you.

Your essence.

The Essence of You

2 Comments

Beautiful woman walking in the field and runs hand through the high dry grass in autumn.
It's all that really matters.

The more single women I work with the more I’m convinced that beauty, intelligence, success, wealth, and attractiveness do not correlate with an increased ability to attract the right Mr. Right.  For every woman who may seem to have it all (or at least have something that we think we're missing that we need to attract a man) the story they tell in reality is one that is all too similar to the rest of us.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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