Is this you?

If you've never had someone model boundaries for you, if you've never learned how to find your own voice - and use it, there's something you need to know about finding it.

It's not easy. It won't feel natural. And you'll wonder if it's okay to have discovered this at all.

See, no one ever tells you how uncomfortable, how completely out of your comfort zone it’s going to be for you to learn a new language that includes the “I” statements you’ve never learned.

“I feel”.

“I need”.

“I want”.

“I hear”.

“I know”.

“I am”.

“I’m not”.

The list goes on and on.

Such simple words.

Such foreign words.

You mean I have a voice?

These are powerful words. Words that tell the world about the real you but carry risk because yes, they do define you. This is the very thing you fear. Being known for who you are and not what someone else wants you to be.

Will they still love you? Will they still want you? Will they still accept you if you speak your own mind? If you live by your own truth? If you follow your own set of rules?

The ones you want will. The rest never matter in the end.

This is how you find a love that’s meant for you and only you. This is how you find your true matches in life, in love, in everything. You can’t find that kind of love without first knowing yourself, without being that self, without showing up with that true self.

Let them do what they choose to do with you!

Let them stay, let them go. Five, ten, twenty years down the road from now, what will matter is that you showed up. That you knew who you are and what you’re all about. How else can anyone find you if you can’t find yourself?

Love,

Jane

Was it hard for you to find your own voice? To hear someone set boundaries and use them, and realize that someone was you? Raise your hand in the comments below. I want to know who else had to learn these the hard way, too!