This Thanksgiving, Do THIS Instead!

If you’re being flooded with messages today telling you all the things you should be thankful for, and the LAST thing you feel right now is grateful, I’m here to tell you I see you, I hear you, and I feel every bit of what you’re going through today.

NOT feeling our feelings is the problem with so much of what’s gone wrong in our lives and I’m here to tell you that it’s okay if you don’t feel what everyone’s telling you you’re SUPPOSED to feel today.

It’s easy to feel grateful when you’re warm and cozy in your house with a husband or partner who loves you, surrounded by babies (or fur babies) who make your house feel like a home. It's easy to feel thankful when you’ve got enough money, a secure job, your health, and good friends and relatives who make you feel loved and supported.

But it’s not so easy when you’re alone.

Not so easy when you're feeling isolated, on the outside looking in, wondering what went so wrong somewhere that there’s nothing you can find to be grateful for right now.

And then wondering what’s so wrong with you that you can’t.

Oh girl, if this is where you find yourself right now, then this message is straight from my heart to yours today.

Enough with the “shoulds” and the “supposed tos” and everything else that gets imposed on us on holidays like today. Between now and the New Year, you’re going to feel a whole lot more of what you’re feeling today.

Right here is your safe space to feel everything you're feeling.

No, you’re not weak. No, you don’t just have to try harder. And no, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.

Holidays are wonderful when you have somewhere to go, people to celebrate with, and all kinds of good things happening in your life.

Holidays are not at all wonderful when all you can do is look at what everyone else has and see what you don’t.

That's when they’re tragic. That's when they’re sad.

And that's when they represent more hurt and pain and suffering. When they're a special day to see just what you don’t have compared to what feels like the rest of the normal world does have.

So today, I want to remind you that this isn’t about anyone else and their expectations of you. This isn’t about living up to the sentiment of the day. This isn’t about pretending to smile and be thankful when in reality, that’s the last thing you feel.

It’s about honoring where you are, right now, today.

If you’re feeling lost or left behind, acknowledge that, and let yourself feel lost and left behind. If you’re feeling like you’re back in high school and nothing’s changed because everyone else STILL has what you don’t have, and you don’t see any end in sight to make that change, accept that this is precisely how it feels to you right now even if you have all kinds of people telling you it’s not that bad or it’s going to get better real soon.

Yes, that can be true AND you can also feel like you have no idea how it could be true for you with how you’re feeling and the way it’s always been for you.

When you’ve always had to put on that smiling face, when you’ve had to listen to everyone tell you to be happy, or just be thankful you’re not like (insert name of whoever has it worse off than you), both can be true.

There’s something that happens when you allow yourself to feel what you’ve lived your life so far pretending you didn’t feel.

Just for today, promise me that you’re not going to let someone talk you out of your feelings, that you’re going to be exactly who and where you are today without getting on the defensive or explaining yourself for a change.

You don’t need to do that here.

There’s a whole lot of different things you might be feeling and every one of them is valid. None of them need to be justified or explained with a story that can rival the worst story that’s been told so far.

This isn’t a competition to justify why you have a right to feel what you feel. You have every right to feel what you feel just because you're you! Now go do exactly that. I'll be thinking of you!

Love,

Jane

Now share in the comments that you’re going to do this right now. You’re off the hook from the usual pressure and expectations for at least one day!