I've noticed a theme in the conversations we've been having lately.
I hear you say you think you're being punished.
You've had such bad luck with men, you're convinced it's got to be some form of punishment.
I hear you say you think it's because of something you did or something you should have known better to do.
I hear you say there's just some reason that you're being put through whatever it is you're going through - as if someone or something called God or love or fate - or whatever you believe in - could do something like this to you.
Drop that story, Beautiful. It's old. It's not true. It's not loving. And it's so unkind to you.
Love is kind.
Love is compassionate.
Love is beautiful.
And most of all, love is loving.
Move on from there. Don't stay believing that old story when there's a new one just waiting for you to see it, to embrace it, to believe it!
Love that isn't loving doesn't belong anywhere near you.
Love that isn't pursuing you, seeking you out, showing you loving actions isn't love. Even if it's the only love you've ever known, it's still not love.
Notice what feels loving all around you.
Notice what doesn't.
Notice the difference.
Be around love. Stay away from anything that doesn't feel loving or kind or compassionate to you.
Surround yourself with the only kind of love you've ever deserved.
Not the one you thought you had to settle for. The kind that loves you for you!
Clear?
Good.
Now we can move on to the next part.
What you do matters. And what you do when you believe you're loved - not punished - is entirely different from what you do when you believe you're running from a punishment you can never get out from under of.
I hope this meets you right where you are.
Love,
Jane
If you're not clear on this, reach out in the comments below and let me know. I don't want any one of you to miss this one!
You've really put somethings into perspective for me, thank you!
Love to hear this, Kimberly! You're so welcome!
I'm in a quandry over whether to leave a man who puts a lot of pressure on me to marry after 2+ years of dating.
I know he loves me, but after 27 years in law enforcement and a gun shot wound, he has a hard time emotionally connecting and is often negative and angry at politics/people/life.
I'm able to see a lot of the ways I settled for less in past relationships, but now I feel like maybe I'm expecting too much and my resentment is unwarranted ...
Is it just a different version of the same thing?
Yes, Lorraine. Different version of the same thing. Settling is putting aside what we sense and feel because we know we "should" or because of our fears that it's the best we can expect. He's got some deep buried issues here he needs to resolve first before you go any deeper with him. For your sake. I've seen this too many times.
Yes it does !
I made a decision a long time ago to leave my marriage for another man
I fell deeply in love but he withdrew quickly ..and it was very painful
Connect disconnect.for 12 years
I felt like I was in bodage and took years to untangle myself
I learned to give too much so that's what I always do.
I heard His voice God's voice say
Wait !
So I waited but not very long before I dove into that relationship
God was with me for three years I could feel the grace and acceptance
But I kept hanging on to the man
And soon I didn't feel God's love anymore 💔.
The man broke up with me and left me for another woman .
Yes I feel like I'm being punished .
I need
Help to get over it that !
Thank you
Anytime you need a reminder, Cassie, I'll be here. Lots of love to you. We get through this together.
Hi Jane ~ I feel like you’re my guardian angel right now. Thank you for your sweet words. Right now I’m in a tough place. Trying to build up the strength to say goodbye to this man that I love so deeply but he doesn’t love me/want a relationship. It’s been 15 months of fun with this man but something missing the whole time, which is him reciprocating to me how I feel for him. He says he doesn’t want a girlfriend or commitment/relationship. It’s time for me to say goodbye but I’m struggling. I know what I need to do, I’m just trying to explain it to my heart. 🙁
That's a big thing to be missing, Kristi. Ask yourself why you need to say goodbye, get as clear as you can on your reason. It's the only way your heart understands what your head already knows. And yes, how did you know? I'm walking through this with you, without knowing who you are. Now I know. Thank you.