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Should I Remind Him He Said He Would Tell Me Why?

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A beautiful woman is holding her hair back with her hands, wondering if she was a hot mess.
I just need to know why!

Our letter this week comes from Paula, who's feeling heartbroken over the loss of the man she experienced such amazing chemistry with in a long-distance relationship. He said he was going to meet up with her and talk in three weeks time, so she wants to know if she should reach out to remind him.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I'm 42 years old. I met a man, 46 years old, on Dec. 23 of last year.

For two weeks we met on the beach in the morning or in the evening-had dinner and drinks or a walk by the beach, talking about ourselves, kissing each other - there was extreme chemistry between us.

After two weeks, we had time to be together and had an amazing time. This man lives 900 km from me.

We were in touch almost every day by messages, half of them initiated by him. We have met again every second week after because he flies here to be with his children. I have one child, I'm a single mum.Continue Reading

Am I Being Too Needy?

5 Comments

Woman upset after her boyfriend pulled away and disappeared, wondering if he'll ever come back.
I just wish I felt more important to him.

Our letter this week comes from Jennifer, who's wondering if she's just being "too needy" while trying to navigate a relationship that's about to become long-distance.

Here's her story and my response.

Hi Jane,

I would love to read your advice on my current dating situation.

About 6 months ago I began going on dates with this guy who I had met in class. I immediately found myself drawn to him since the first day I saw him but I was too shy to initiate anything during the semester. Luckily for me (or maybe not) we reconnected two months after our class ended and began going on dates.

During this time we really connected over our shared faiths, career goals, and personal attributes. Although it was clear that we really liked each other we never made it official. He had been accepted to an out of state medical school and didn’t want to make me any promises that he couldn’t keep.Continue Reading

5 Signs He Really Is That Into You

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While those things are certainly wonderful and oh so romantic, they’re not the true tell-tale signs that he’s in it for the long haul. Lots of guys can be over the top romantic when they're on the hunt. So you've gone out on several dates, he’s been very romantic, sending you flowers, taking you to wonderful restaurants, and generally sweeping you off of your feet. You’re starting to think you’d like to take the relationship to the next level. But how do you know he’s not just an experienced player that’s putting his time in until he’s had his fun, only to leave you in a dusty heap, brokenhearted once again while he goes back to cavorting with his buddies looking for his next conquest? How do you know he'll actually stick around if you allow yourself to get closer to him?

Well, forget about the flashy gifts, romantic poems, and serenading you beneath your window at midnight.  While those things are certainly wonderful and oh so romantic, they’re not the true tell-tale signs that he’s in it for the long haul. Lots of guys can be over the top romantic when they're on the hunt.  Here are the much more subtle signs that you should be on the lookout for if you want to know if your new guy is ever going to turn into real relationship guy material:

1.) He’s tries hard to make you happy

Men want to take care of a woman they care about. They’re wired for that – they want to do things for us, to protect us, provide for us and ultimately they want to make us happy. Guys are do-ers and they show us they care by doing things for us. If he waxes your car or changes your oil (or at least takes them in for you), or if he goes out of his way to make sure that he always has your favorite yogurt in his fridge when you come over, those are very good signs he's really into you. Bonus points if he brings you hot chicken noodle soup and a copy of Bridget Jones' Diary when you're on the couch feeling ill, gives you a kiss on the forehead, and then leaves you alone.

2.) He thinks you look great at your worst

When he looks at you the same way whether you're all dolled up for a night out on the town or it's Saturday morning and he sees you with no makeup, your hair pulled back, and wearing sweats, that's a good sign. All men love it when we do ourselves up for them, but it's the guy who's in it for real that still has eyes for us when we're in frumpy mode.

3.) He wants to show you off

He’s not hiding his Facebook page from you, and in fact, you’re predominately on it. A guy that's really into you wants the world to know it, and he has nothing to hide. You see, if he’s really into you then he’s not holding out hope that something better will come along, which means that there's no reason to hide the fact that the two of you are an item.

4.) He calls you often

And you actually have real conversations, talking about things like your personal history, what your childhood was like, where you went to school, what you like and don’t like to do, etc. It shows that he’s interested in more than just your beautiful curves and gorgeous eyes – he wants to know what’s behind those eyes and what makes them sparkle and shine. It shows that he actually cares about you, the person, not just you, the hottie.

5.) He introduces you to his buddies and his family

He’s not afraid to make you part of his life; in fact, he can't wait to introduce you to everyone that's close to him. He wants you to be a part of his life, and that means taking you to his favorite places and introducing you to his favorite people. You may not want to hang out with his friends or his family, but the fact that he wants you to is a sure sign he thinks you're a keeper.

If you see several (or, better yet, all) of these signs then you can feel very confident that your guy sees you as the real thing. And if he sees you as the real thing, he's very likely to commit to a real relationship with that beautiful woman otherwise known as you!

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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