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They tell me I'm too late

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A beautiful woman looks confused and drained with her chin resting on her palm.
So...what's stopping me?

I need your help today everyone!

A beautiful member of our community wrote me this heartbreaking letter and I want her to hear not just from me but from all of us who feel moved to say something in response to this all too familiar sentiment that we're too late, or too old or too something else. You can comment below and she'll see it on the blog.

Here's what she wrote:

Dear Jane,

I have already been told that I have missed my calling.

That I am far too old.

But I am not dead yet.

More than anything I want to sing. I have a small PA system and I'm building up a repertoire to sing on my own. But these are cover songs. But I want more than that.Continue Reading

Freeing Yourself from the Chains of Bondage

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Concept of a woman freeing herself from the chains of bondage
It's time to break those chains.

"I'm ready to do the work" she said. "I'm ready to fix this."

"I sabotaged it - I was so insecure and anxious. I did this. Now I only have myself to blame. Can you help me get him back?"

It wasn't her fault. And no, it didn't require any more "working on herself".

Because it wasn't hers to fix.

She hadn't sabotaged it. She was insecure and anxious BECAUSE he gave her reason to be. NOT because she was this way for no reason.

She didn't do this. She wasn't to blame.Continue Reading

He says he just wants to hookup – what should I do?

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A romantic couple having a serious conversation on the beach in winter.
He told me he can't offer me than occasional hookups.

I know today's letter is going to resonate with so many of you who've been here before!  Our beautiful friend, Janine, is trying to decide whether to get out now or to accept the terms of a guy she's fallen for who can only give her occasional once-a-month hookups. I know what I think she should do and I'm sharing it with you so you can know too!

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

Firstly, I must say how I love the pearls of wisdom you impart in your blog & on social media. After a break-up at the end of 2020….& with my current situation….so much of what you write and say really resonates with me.

Jane, I have got myself into a ‘casual’ relationship the last couple of months.

Met a man while I was away on holiday at the end of October, we have caught up twice since, even though we live 3 hours apart. We also text msg or talk on the phone most nights.

Last week I spent 3 nights with him at his place.  On the last night while I was there he told me he can’t offer me more than what we’ve got now - the occasional hook-up, once a month.Continue Reading

How she went from heartbroken & hopeless to happily married in one year

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Happy just married young couple, wedding.
We were just married in Jamaica!

It all began when Becca responded to my call to claim the year as HER year to find the love she’d been searching for her whole life. In response to an email I sent out to my subscriber list, she responded with this.

Jane, I'm doing this. This is my year to find the love I've been wanting my whole life!"

I made a commitment to not go after the man that abandoned me and my children three times this last year and a half - I am worth more than how I have been treated- my children deserve a good man in their lives that values them as his own. No more will I beg or chase a man. I will allow only good in my life and my children's lives. 

- Becca

 I responded back to her with this email:

Awesome, Rebecca! I'm so glad you're here.

There is nothing like these words, spoken with conviction, to put this into motion, to claim your right to have exactly the kind of love you were made for!Continue Reading

Is this you?

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sad woman walking on the city street at sunset
You mean I have a voice?

If you've never had someone model boundaries for you, if you've never learned how to find your own voice - and use it, there's something you need to know about finding it.

It's not easy. It won't feel natural. And you'll wonder if it's okay to have discovered this at all.

See, no one ever tells you how uncomfortable, how completely out of your comfort zone it’s going to be for you to learn a new language that includes the “I” statements you’ve never learned.

“I feel”.

“I need”.

“I want”.

“I hear”.

“I know”.

“I am”.

“I’m not”.

The list goes on and on.Continue Reading

Why do you even bother?

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A beautiful woman is leaning on a railing against a sunset, disappointed she hasn't heard from her boyfriend.
What's your reason?

That's my question for you today.

Why do you even bother?

With so many discouraging moments, so many disappointments, why do you still bother to try?

Because you've got a reason. Even if you've forgotten it up til now.

It's there somewhere, giving you hope, keeping you believing in something changing in your life for you even if it's so hard to see.

There's a reason I'm asking you this today. I want YOU to hear from yourself WHY you still bother. Why you haven't given up all hope of your life ever being different, why you're still here.

I want to stir up some excitement, some passion left in you. Some determination, some motivation to finally crack your own code for why you still have enough hope to come back here every time.

What's your reason?

There's something stronger than you believe you are that's not giving up on your story ending here. What is that? What does that look like for you?

Don't underestimate the power of you knowing your why, your reason that STILL gives you hope even if it's not always obvious to you.

There's a reason, girl. Time to remember what yours is!

Take a moment to think about this and then put it down in the comments. It makes all the difference in the world when you say it out loud and write it down right there in front of you!

Love,

Jane

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