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Remember when you first learned to ride a bike? It's the same thing.

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woman riding a bike
It's time to spread your wings again.

Out of all the tips and tricks you read about everywhere you look these days, there's just one thing that makes anything "work" for you.

It's you!

Remember the phrase, if you could see yourself the way someone who loves you sees you, you would never EVER allow yourself to be treated this way? That's it!

Find someone in your life who sees you like this and hold that vision they have for you.

They don't see you being used, they don't see you being treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. They see you being loved!

It's like learning to ride a bike with training wheels, then someone holds the bike for you when you're ready to take them off. They become the training wheels, steadying you until you're riding by yourself. And before you know it, you're flying high because they let go!Continue Reading

4 Valuable Lessons 2020 Taught Me about Life, Love, and Happiness

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A beautiful woman is leaning on a railing against a sunset, disappointed she hasn't heard from her boyfriend.
At least we learned some important lessons this year.

I’ve gotten to know so many of you this year. Some for the first time, and others much more deeply than I had before.

Your stories, your heartbreaks, your dreams, your hopes, your plans – and the realities of this year that brought so many of them to an abrupt halt.

It’s been such an honor to share in your lives!

If it wasn’t exactly the year you wanted to have, with yet another chapter of your life closing with the same now familiar ending - another year alone - I hope my message today resonates with you.Continue Reading

Tomorrow is a New Day

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An attractive woman is watching the sunset from the deck of a ferry boat, realizing that tomorrow is a new day.Just like we are so hard on ourselves, many of us (myself included) find it all too easy to look back at the past with so many regrets at what we could have done differently in a given situation.

While we can always learn from our past experiences and determine to do something differently the next time, the harm comes in getting so caught up in that past, beating ourselves up in the process, that we forget that tomorrow truly is a new day. A day to do things differently. A day to celebrate ourselves and all that we are, including our imperfections and shortcomings.

These things make us human, they make us real, and one day they will even endear us to that special someone who will truly love us unconditionally.

I still remember the night when my single girlfriend and I were at a local restaurant after a social event, and we saw two guys who had also been at that event.  We both found them attractive and thought they looked interesting, and we went back and forth wondering how we might break the ice and meet them.  They both seemed to be in a deep conversation with each other, although they seemed to look over in our direction a few times, enough for us to think they might be interested in meeting us, too.

We noticed that there were no rings on their fingers and they certainly seemed open and friendly enough in their body language, but they never took that step to come over and talk to us, despite our clearly inviting signals and body language.

It was soon time for us to leave, so we walked past them on our way out, smiled one more time and said hello. They both smiled and said "hi", but nothing more.

On our way home we wondered if we should have said or done anything more to open up a conversation, or even gone as far as walking up to them and striking up a conversation ourselves, instead of hoping for them to make a move. We stayed stuck in that depressing world of "what if" and the "what could have been", each in our own individual way, for far too long.

Finally we both realized that it simply didn't really matter. We decided to leave the world of "what if" and come back to the world of "what is". We realized that if it was meant to be, if either one of these guys were meant to be with us, we would meet again.

And more importantly, we realized the hard, cold truth of the matter: If either one of them had been interested in either one of us, they could have (and most likely would have) initiated a conversation with us.  It wasn't all about us.

The point is, thinking about the past, focusing on what we could have or should have done differently, doesn't get us anywhere.  Learning from that past, building on our previous experiences with new knowledge and new levels of comfort does.

Beating ourselves up over things we cannot change about the past, dwelling on what we wish we had done differently doesn't.

So look at the past, and all of those things you might have wanted to do differently, as learning points.  If you feel, based on your past experiences, that you need to do something different, then do it.  If you're not sure, then listen deeply to your heart and not all the shoulds or other people, and you'll find you have that answer deep down inside.

It's all a journey.  We learn.  We experience.

We find ourselves in situations where we wish we had done something different.  And we learn again.  We resolve to do things differently and then we learn the important life lessons that bring us through to the next season of our lives.  And we fall back into old patterns from time to time.  It's that three steps forward, two steps back type of learning that we find so frustrating, yet is so necessary to finding our way on our own time, at our own pace, at a timing that is unique to us and no one else.

And always allow yourself the gift of a fresh start.

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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