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My ex is confusing me

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A beautiful woman is holding her head in her hands wondering if her boyfriend who has commitment issues is just playing games or if he wants a committed relationship.
I just have no idea what to do.

Ever been confused by an ex? I know I don't even have to ask. More like who HASN'T been confused by an ex! Read on to hear what B wrote to me. I have a feeling you'll relate.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

Thanks so much for providing a safe space for me to share how I feel and get some advice!

My ex broke up with me about a month ago after dating for almost two years. We had a wonderful relationship, but like any relationship had a few ups and downs. He treated me so well and we had a lot of fun together, and the spark was undeniable. However, although I had told him I loved him, he had never said those words back. He made it clear that he felt the same way, but seemed scared to actually say it.

I felt completely blindsided when we broke up as I wasn’t expecting it. The breakup was respectful and calm, but the thing that confused me was that in the same breath as ending things he finally said the words “I love you.”

Since breaking up we have stayed in contact and even seen each other a couple of times. He has told me he doesn’t want to get back together but he wants to be friends. He will blow hot and cold over text and sometimes flirt and other times not reply for days.Continue Reading

He says he just wants to be friends

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A man and a woman are having a serious discussion over dinner because she wants to know how he feels about her.
I just don’t know what to do.

It's never good when the guy we're into says he just wants to be friends.

Those are the words Lee didn't want to hear either. See if this sounds all too familiar to you and then tell me your own story of "the guy who says he just wants to be friends" in the comments. You're not alone!

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I started seeing this guy back in the summer and everything seemed to be going great. Lots of fun and enjoyment.

In August, he asked me to be exclusive and I agreed. So as time went by I noticed he was being a bit different and I was wondering why. When I asked him about us and our future he basically told me we are nothing serious but casual so I was left a bit confused by this.

Anyway, we both met on a dating app and I recently went to check was he back on it and I noticed he was.Continue Reading

Friends to lovers to I don't know

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Worried woman talking with boyfriend
Was I wrong to tell him how I feel?

Our letter this week comes from Kayla, who doesn't know what to make of the friendship/relationship she's been in with a guy for the past 4 years, and is looking for some help to understand what happened and what she can do to get him back.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I've been stuck in a never ending spiral that's worsened these past few months and feel completely out of control of my life and my feelings.

To give some background information, I have been friends with this guy for 4 years, from the end of high school to now, in college. Our relationship has always been flirtatious and full of banter and making jabs at each other.

Through him, I became best friends with his friends.

Recently, we've taken a couple steps forward from our initial friendship. Sure we've had moments in the past where it was this back and forth 'will they, won't they' situation, but nothing ever solid came from anything (and to be quite honest, because he would always pull back).Continue Reading

What do I do? He keeps giving me mixed signals!

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Lonely sad beautiful woman feeling hurt and heartbroken holding phone because boyfriend has gone radio silent
I'm so confused by all this!

Ever wondered if you're the only one whose understanding and supportive qualities keep getting taken for a ride? You're not alone! Calleigh has her own story to share and I'm pretty sure you'll see something you can relate to in here.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I met a guy at work four years ago. We hit it off right away and had an immediate connection. I've never been with someone who I liked so much and had so much in common and got along with. We started dating a few months later. Everything was just getting started when his parents started having health issues.

I stayed by him through everything.

We talked a few months later and he told me that because his parents were taking up so much of his time, we would have to have more of a friendship at the time. I agreed because I knew he had a lot going on and I wanted to be supportive.

He always acted like I was his girlfriend and would say things that only a boyfriend would say.Continue Reading

He Was Super Into Me, Now He Says He Doesn't Want a Relationship

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A beautiful woman is looking at her ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend, wondering why he wouldn't commit to her.
And now I think he's with another woman!

Have you ever had a guy tell you how amazing you are, only to leave you brokenhearted? You're not alone. Beautiful Shaye shares her experience with a certain type of guy I think most of us have run into at least once.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I’m 21, and consider myself very different. I graduated in 2.5 years with a chemistry degree, I’m headed to med school, I don’t drink.

Well I met a guy at the end of March on Bumble, who acted completely in awe of me every. single. day. He told me he had been in a bad wreck and it completely changed his mentality, and was glad I didn’t know who he was before the accident.

I was hoping he was different than other college guys.

I was a bit uncomfortable with his new frat, and sometimes the drinking. He said I completed him and I was all he ever wanted. Seems pretty soon to say that, but okay.Continue Reading

I Don't Want to Push Him Away!

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Couple at home sitting in sofa and having a talk
Should I bring it up again?

Gail wrote to me this week, to be heard, to be listened to, and I'm responding to her letter today on the blog.

Her love interest has said he just wants to be friends, and she wants more than that.

Sound familiar?

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I met a guy after being divorced for 7-1/2 years. I never thought I would meet anyone again to love me for who I am, but he’s a lawyer and he’s younger than me.

I'm 60, he’s 49.

He’s really busy in court and in the office, and we stay in different cities, yes, but my problem is he said he wants to be friends because he doesn’t have time for a relationship because he’s so busy. I understand that but I really have a problem with it because if you really care about someone, you’ll make time for them.

I’ve told him that.Continue Reading

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