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Dating

The posts in the dating category relate to the early stages of a relationship, before the two of you are exclusive. The dating category includes topics such as where to find men, how do I find Mr. Right?, first dates, should you call him, etc.

Vindicated

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Beautiful brunette woman thinking, tired, wondering if she's the one with commitment issues.
The woman in us who's been hurt a bazillion times feels vindicated.

See? You say. See?

That's why I can't find any good ones.

The woman in us who's been hurt a bazillion times feels vindicated.

See! It's just the way it is now.

But is it?

Look closer. No, not where you've always been looking, but somewhere different. Somewhere new.

Maybe that dominates, that being the current popular opinion that the new dating reality makes the act of swiping or putting a few syllables into a phone the most effort men have to make these days, but is that really the whole story?

Or is there more?

No, this isn't just the way it is for you! This is someone else's story. Stop making it your own. It's not!Continue Reading

Dating a Younger Man

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A beautiful woman is sipping coffee while talking with a man over lunch, wondering why she's not getting what she wants in a relationship.
He said it isn't an issue for him.

Ever dated - or thought about dating - a younger man? I often get asked about the "appropriateness" of dating younger men. This week's letter comes from Mariah and that's exactly what she's asking about here.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane

I recently went on a date with a guy 10 years younger than me. I'm 42 and he is 32. He was very attentive, we had a good time but the age gap keeps bothering me.

I spoke to him after our date as he said he is keen to see me again. I asked him how he felt about the age gap. He said it isn't an issue for him. He has dated a woman 5 years his senior before. He asked how I felt, and I said that I'm not sure. Let's see how we go.

He agreed.Continue Reading

Dating a Married Man

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
He still texts me every day.

There are many things I could say about becoming involved with married men, mainly to say don't.

If you want a prescription for heartache (not to mention the moral and ethical guilt that comes along with it), that's a sure one with someone who's involved with someone else, let alone married to them.

But regardless of these moral and ethical issues, the fact remains that I hear from many women who, for various reasons, become involved with men who are married. I'm responding to one of these letters today and hopefully my response with help those of you who are asking the same thing she's asking here, too.

Her story:

Hi Jane,

I was desperately unhappy (have recently become divorced) in my marriage when I surprisingly connected on Social Media with a man I knew many, many years ago.  We were at the same school, but I really didn’t know him well then.

He lives in another county, so we hadn’t even crossed paths apart from innocently liking each other’s photos etc.Continue Reading

I Feel Like He's Pulling Away

8 Comments

A beautiful woman leans her head against a tree, looking unsure.
My gut tells me there's also someone else.

The subject line was clear: Am I a seat filler? I knew exactly what she meant.  Ever had to wonder about that yourself? Well, Rose is wondering that now.

Here's what she told me:

Hi Jane,

I really need your perspective on this one.

So I met this guy about a month ago at a wedding, the first minute we met our eyes locked for a moment, the way he looked and smiled at me felt like I was the only woman in the room.

He later asked for my number which I gave it to him, it was my cousin's wedding so I was very busy making sure everything was going smoothly and as a result I never got a chance to talk to the guy up until the wedding was over.Continue Reading

He Completely Dropped Off the Face of the Planet

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Close up of a woman using mobile smart phone, wondering why she was ghosted and he suddenly stopped texting.
I haven't heard from him since.

Beautiful Sami writes to tell us her story of being ghosted by her relatively new long-distance boyfriend, and she's wondering what could have happened.

Read on for her story, along with my response:

Hi Jane,

I started seeing a guy who lives in a different state than me a few months ago. I've seen him three times in person, and those three times we were with each other almost non stop for days.

He even came to visit me one weekend and again, we were with each other the entire time. It was amazing.

When we weren't together, we would text constantly, every single day. He was usually the one who started the conversations, but I would start them occasionally, attempting to let him know that I was just as interested in talking to him as he was interested in talking to me.Continue Reading

My Ex Has Moved On With Someone Else but He Says He Still Loves Me

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A beautiful woman leans against a tree wondering if he will ever want a committed relationship with her.
I still love him and he says he still loves me - I don't get it!

Our letter this week is a short one. In fact, it's a sentence. But in that one sentence, our beautiful reader Amy asks a question that's so relevant because of what it unearths. Read on to find out why ...

Her Question:

Why is it an ex that I still hold dear to my heart and love more than the sun, and to the moon and back, will message my friend that he still loves me but won't tell me, and is with someone else and moved with her to our planned future city to live in?

-Amy

My Response:

Why does anyone do what they do?

We have so many emotions that come up when it’s happening to us because when we’re in it, when it’s happening to us, we can’t see it with the objective detached view that we normally hold when it’s about someone else.Continue Reading

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