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Your One Thing

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A woman is looking up at question marks above her head.
What's yours?

I started a coaching session with a woman yesterday with the same question I've got for you.

Like most of us who've been here, she's got a guy she's hearing less and less from and is struggling to get over him once and for all.

I knew this was going to be a long session and I wanted to get to the heart of the matter to get her some relief right away, so I narrowed it down to one single question whose answer stood out as soon as she told me her story. I needed her to make this connection so she could see the significance of it, too.

What is the one skill you feel you're lacking? Or, put another way, what is the one thing you wish you could do that would make you feel so much better right now?Continue Reading

Is it time for me to give up?

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A beautiful woman looking pensive holds a clock wondering if she is wasting her time with her boyfriend.
How long should I wait?

Is it? Rita's wondering if it might be. Read on to see what you think, and then let her know in the comments below.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I started seeing a guy a little over a year ago, we have both been divorced about two years, I was married for 18 years and he was for 17 years, we both have one child, that are about a year apart in age, we live in different cites, about 45 minutes apart.

When we first started dating after about two months, he broke it off because he said (famous words of all men) he wasn't ready for what he thought I wanted, a serious relationship. After about a month (I knew he would be back) he started calling me again, so we started dating again, we never talked about the "serious relationship" thing.

We have such a wonderful time together, although that time is very limited due to our schedules with our kids, maybe once a week sometimes once every two weeks. I know he enjoys being with me and when we do see one another, we do usually end up spending the night together and no we don't always have sex, but our sex life is awesome!Continue Reading

Pick one

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Beautiful young woman with long hair lying on the grass
It's time to do things a little differently.

My message for you today is a short but important one, so listen up, because it has the potential to change everything that's wrong in your life!

For those of you who feel overwhelmed at the thought of doing anything different, let alone knowing what that one thing to do would be, think about this.

If you don't do anything different, if you don't go out of your usual zone, if you don't look for different people than you're used to finding, how can you NOT keep repeating your old patterns?Continue Reading

How do I stop loving him and move on?

21 Comments

Rear view pensive thoughtful woman sitting on sofa alone, lost in thoughts, upset female having psychological problem, heartbreak, thinking about being alone
I want to forget about him and move on with my life.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Michelle who's heartbroken over a man who's seeing someone else. She knows he doesn't deserve her, but she's having a hard time letting him go. Sound familiar?

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I'm hoping you can help me. I've been in a 5 year relationship with a man I'm in love with who so clearly doesn't love me.

We were seeing each other regularly until about a month ago when I found out he's been seeing someone else. I'm heartbroken. We haven't talked since then.Continue Reading

Are you calling this a flaw?

33 Comments

Beautiful woman looking into a mirror.
Let's change how you see yourself.

I've got something for you to do today.

I want you to find the worst thing about you, the part of you that you most wish you weren't, and turn it around.

What's the other positive side of it? What other purpose does it serve?

I used to hate how sensitive I was, I saw it as such a flaw. But when I could finally see the other side of it, the part that allowed me to feel another's pain, to sense when I was around people who were safe or unsafe, and to experience joy as deeply as I experience sadness, I came to accept and embrace that part of me as well.

There's something about accepting what we call a flaw and turning it around that makes us stronger, more confident, because we know more of who we are and why we're exactly the way we're meant to be.

What is that "flaw" - that's anything but a flaw - for you? Tell me in the comments, I want you to hear exactly what it is!

Love,

Jane

My partner wants to rekindle friendship with his ex and I don't know what to do!

10 Comments

Unhappy couple after fight not talking to each other
He was devastated when she left him.

Today's letter comes from one of the beautiful members in our community, Kate, who's at a loss to know what to do when her partner announced he wants to rekindle his friendship with his ex. I can imagine how most of us would feel about this; let's see if we can help Kate out here, too!

Her Story:

Dear Jane,

I’m struggling with the thought of my partner reconnecting with his ex.

When we met over ten years ago he was still upset for over two years occasionally about the way she cheated, ended their relationship and threw him out.Continue Reading

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