I love meeting you and hearing your stories.
Most of the women I work with are some of the most beautiful, successful, extraordinary women I've ever met who are all carrying around with them a secret they don't want anyone to know.
Their secret?
They don't feel that strong.
More often than not, they're crying behind their smiles.
Life hasn't been what it was supposed to be for them.
Sure, they're got a lot to show for their time here so far. And yes, they've had all kinds of experiences and accomplished all kinds of things along the way.
But there's something else that's missing.
They're running out of hope.
I want to change that for you today. If you're looking at yourself comparing what you have to someone else's life, seeing every place along the way where you went wrong, where you could have made a different choice than the one you made that day, I'm going to ask you to stop doing that right now.
Right now.
Today. Right where you are.
You stop being powerless. You stop believing there's nothing left for you. You stop carrying around your huge weight of regrets and remember just one thing today.
You're not powerless! You haven't been left behind!
There's only one thing missing - its you, remembering who you are, remembering that your birthright is to be loved AS YOU ARE, not the way someone else is or was or has something you don't and wish you did.
I want you to take a good look at you. At what you bring to this earth, to this world of ours.
Your gifts, your talents, your essence, your you. That thing no one else has in the same way you do BECAUSE of those same regrets, BECAUSE of those same experiences you've been through that you wish you could change and do all over again differently.
Not in spite of those things. Not in spite of who you are. Not in spite of what you've gone through or the choices you've made along the way but BECAUSE of them.
Girl, hear me on this one when I say believe me, I've been here.
I've walked in your shoes for too long, too. I know something about this. And what I know FOR SURE is that no way would you have been created just as you are in this precise moment & time if there wasn't something beautiful still here for you!
Put that in big, bold letters somewhere you can see that every single day when you wake up in the morning and right before you fall asleep.
There's something beautiful still here for you!
Just because it's not happening right now doesn't mean it's not going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the next. I see what most would call miracles every single day in the women I work with and the women I don't even know, who read my words all around the world.
For this moment, girl. You were created for this time. Just as you are. EXACTLY as you are!
It's a little thing called grace. And love. And hope. No matter who you are, no matter what you've been through, no matter how much you think you've messed up EVERYTHING.
There's still so much more to come for you!
Love,
Jane
Are you in need of some hope today? Tell me what you need to believe in again in the comments. I'm here for you!
I need to believe that I can make changes. There is nothing inherently wrong with how my boyfriend treats me, but there is such a lack of intimacy and true sharing. We are looking at buying a house together. I am 60 and afraid that I am giving up my dreams and needs for security. Feeling really vulnerable.
But are your dreams and needs as much about having security as anything else, Anne? Both matter. It's just up to you to decide what matters more to you personally, regardless of what you're "supposed" to do. If you have no sense of security, can you still go get those dreams? Or do the dreams become mute without that more basic level of security. Is this security just an illusion? Sounds like you need to do some digging here to make this big decision. Maslow's hierarchy of needs!
Thank you Jane, I really needed to hear that today.....yet another lesson learnt this week.
Life is full of surprises some wonderful, some are just surprising...
Xx
So glad, Janene. Full of surprises - exactly! Stay curious with me 🙂
I need to believe there is someone out there that is right for me at my age of 57. I just got out of a 10 year relationship that went nowhere. He found a younger woman to replace me with. Now the is a man who also has never been married, has had a few long term relationships that never went anywhere. I am now his current project. He comes around then ghosts me for awhile. I’m tired of trying.. so I’m hoping to have the strength to just let him go!! He’s all words and no actions with many issues which I don’t want to have to fix!!!
With as many people as there are in this big world of ours, Lisa, I could never EVER believe there wasn't someone for you! It's only that we can't see it when we're with someone else who keeps us from seeing ourselves the way someone who loves us will!
Feeling so stuck in my life. It has been almost 10 years since my 20 year marriage ended. The cheating, the lying, the stealing.... it left me broken. I pulled myself out of that despair though alot of prayer, self-help and meditation. I met a wonderful man 1.5 years ago and everything was really wonderful until after 6 months I told him I wanted us to have a future. What was I thinking? He started pulling away and the COVID hit and I didn't see him for 5 months. He said He liked being alone and didn't think we were going to make it and he was ok with that. I was crushed. I have used a lot of methods to put him out of my mind and finally feel some peace. I know I deserve so much more and I will find happiness and love. I am struggling financially as well and listen to morning and evening meditations to keep me focused on gratitude and attracting positive, joyful things in my life. But I can't seem to move forward.
What's keeping you stuck here, Suzanne? Is it something you're holding yourself responsible for? Is there a "should" at the root of this? What you were thinking was that this guy was different, that you were safe to say what you felt. You're not alone on this one. The one after the divorce is almost always harder to move forward from then the original heartbreak. Get to the root of what's holding you here - it's usually something you're regretting that you "should" have done differently - and set yourself free!
I want to feel that I am enough
Hmmmm ... that's a deep one, Barb. Who/what made you feel you weren't? And why do they STILL hold so much power over you that you still don't feel this way? Are they really that full of power? Or is it because only in your mind do you continue to see it this way?
Dear Jane, please help. I was recently in what I thought was a good relationship. But then he decided that he is not ready.
We think wrong all the time, Elizabeth. Maybe he got scared. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he recognized you were both on two different pages. So many possibilities, but you know what I know for sure? It's about him, not you! Don't turn this into another "I'm not good enough" moment where you blame yourself for thinking it was better than it was or that you did something to push him away. Maybe you did and maybe you didn't but if it was enough to make him decide he wasn't ready, the best way to give him a chance to be ready again, is by not taking this on you. Hold your head up high, remember you're the same incredible woman with so much to offer now as you were when you met him, and one step at a time, move on to the next part of your life. He's not everything, and he doesn't represent all men. If he wasn't the one, that means someone else is!
I need to believe that I not only deserve love but that He or any man would be so lucky to have me, just the way I am!
I need to feel worth it. I need to understand why someone I moved to be with just walked away with no remorse. What am I not enough? Why can’t someone commit to me? Why can’t anyone stay? I just don’t understand how someone can tell me they feel the Creator made me for him only to leave me to go back to ex-girlfriend who made him miserable for 20 years? Why can’t I be loved? How can he cut me off completely and block me so quickly when he couldn’t cut her out of his life?
Vee, none of this is about you not being enough, or you not being the one someone commits to or stays with. You CAN be loved. But not with this guy and not with any of the men you've met so far. It's not you. It's an incompatibility with them! And the earlier you can recognize this truth, the faster you can get out of this trap that has you putting this on yourself and getting stuck in this cycle of taking on someone else's lack of capacity to be who they think they can be, to live up to the words they so easily dole out, and to live up to the potential that someone with a gorgeous heart like yours always wants to see! He can do this because THIS IS WHO HE IS! He's showing you loud and clear, Vee. That's why he can do this! Let yourself be wrong about him. It's okay. Words are so easy to say; it's his actions - and behavior that show you who he really is!