You were never supposed to fit in.
Not the way you thought.
You with your one of a kind way of seeing the world.
You with your own unique essence of being in the world. No, you were never supposed to fit in.
You know why you feel like there must be something wrong with you?
Because everyone's been trying to get you to conform and fit in the way they wanted you to your entire life.
Now imagine you trying to go against the grain and resist that when that's all you've ever had reinforced for you.
Not easy, is it?
Now do you see why this keeps coming up?
No, there's nothing wrong with you and no matter how much evidence you try to bring to the contrary, I'll always break down that argument and show you why everything you fight that makes you so uniquely you is precisely what makes the ones who are the only right ones for you want to be with you!
Enough with all the effort that never sees reciprocation. Enough with trying to make your life into what someone else tries to shame you into.
Let's try the easy road for a change. You know, the one where we're not fighting ourselves and the latest thing someone says we're supposed to be. Let's try that road this time.
Let's accept that yes, the pull to fit in is strong and hard to resist when we feel everything these days, but let's also accept we don't need to listen to it.
You have a right to own who you are instead, and with your beautiful smile say to yourself, "Thank you, but I'm going to do this my way today, instead."
Change the way you think about this, and you've changed so much more.
Love,
Jane
How can I help remind you of this? Where are you today? I'd love to hear from you. Share your story down below in the comments!
My best friend who is an introvert, doesnt do romantic relationships cause of a bad heartbreak. Which he will not talk to me about! I am in love with him and haven't told him, cause I feel he doesn't feel the same and I dont want to risk our friendship if it cant b more.! Question is, if he never opens up to me about his heartbreak...than he never will and that would mean he cant possible move from it, right? If he tells anyone about his heartbreak, it would b me....I am the closest person to him right now. If he only knew, I would never hurt him(I have actually told him that b4)...I love him and its painful to hold it back. The thought of telling him b4 hes ready to know it and risk our friendship...I cant even imagine that pain and I dont want to know it either. You understand what I mean?
I sure do, Julie. If he can't talk to you about his past heartbreak and it's the reason why he says he can't be in a romantic relationship with you, he's set up a no-win situation for you. That's why it hurts so bad! But he's choosing this. He has the power to change it, but he has to want to. Don't take this on yourself. He doesn't have to live like this, he's choosing to. Don't look to him for the answer to this; look to yourself and to why you want to be with someone who's willingly hiding behind a bad breakup as a reason to shut himself off from being loved by someone like you with so much love to give!
I'm tired of fitting into his schedule and having to change times and dates to suit his personal life. He is retired and only busy with friends. He says I am important to him and he enjoys me so much but never changes his plans for me. We have beautiful long talks, enjoy each other's company when we're alone and have a lover's emotional time together. I don't want to give that up. How do I make him feel I'm important to him to keep our dates without changing last minute all the time. He says he likes to plan ahead but never honors that.
Lower your expectations of this man so that when he does something you want him to do you're impressed instead of always disappointed, Arlene. And convince yourself you can actually do that. If you can't, you're with the wrong man.