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What Makes a Man Commit?

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man and woman holding hands symbolizing commitment
This is the most important piece.

What makes a man commit?

You’ve heard so many reasons.

Because he can’t resist you. Because you’re irresitable. Because you’re perfect.

But you know something? The most important piece of this has nothing to do with any of that, and everything to do with something YOU have control over. Here’s why.

Who you choose is so important here because if he’s compatible with someone else and not you, trying to become that other woman will only make you miserable in the end.

Because you aren’t her, and you don’t want to change to become her.Continue Reading

How Could He Let Me Go So Easily?

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
Why am I so upset over someone that put me through this?

Beautiful Ally is sad and heartbroken, wondering how her boyfriend of 6 months could let her go so easily.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I'm an avid reader of your site and your advice has helped me before. I recently ended my relationship and I am having a hard time dealing with it. I feel like I made the right decision but I'm still hurting and confused.

A little background:

I met my boyfriend about 6 months ago.

I was out with a friend and he approached me. I initially was not all that interested but after a lengthy conversation I realized that there was some chemistry. He told me he was getting divorced (after 15 years of marriage), he had been separated over a year (has his own apartment and she has the house) and was moving forward with his life.

He was attractive, very smart and had a great job. I felt like we had a lot in common as I too am intelligent and successful. I have a great job, no kids and never married. He's 40 and I'm 43. He has two young children from his marriage ages 4 and 6.Continue Reading

Does It Feel Like It’s Never Enough?

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Beautiful woman looking into a mirror.
I want you try something for me today.

I’m hearing you tonight.

Another disappointment. One more loss. More hopes dashed. And it feels like nothing has changed, and never will.

Where do you go from here?

How do you get back hope when summoning up any kind of hope at all was already too much to ask?Continue Reading

The Most Important Thing No One Ever Told Me About Marriage

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Woman wearing wedding ring holding the hand of her husband celebrating their marriage wedding anniversary
This is what you really need to know.

How do the years go by so fast?

This week is my 16th wedding anniversary – I can hardly believe it’s been that long.

But then again, I can.

Because what I’ve learned in that time has taught me so much more about marriage than I ever could have known back then.

It’s why I’m more passionate than I've ever been about doing everything I can to help you understand the one thing no one ever told me years and years ago.

Back when I was more concerned about NEVER finding someone, than I was about what it actually means to walk through life on a day to day basis with someone who (no matter how perfect he may be for you) is still very human.

I always thought if you married the right guy for you, everything would work itself out.Continue Reading

Did I Get Played?

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Woman upset after her boyfriend pulled away and disappeared, wondering if he'll ever come back.
Am I being an idiot for thinking this could actually be something?

This week I'm featuring a letter - along with my response - from gorgeous Maddie, who's wondering if the man she's been seeing is actually interested in a committed relationship or if he's just playing with her heart.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have a question for you.

Some background information: I have known this guy for 6 years (we briefly dated 6 years ago and have remained in contact on and off in this time, both as friends and sometimes a bit flirty).

Over the last 5-ish months we have gotten quite close again.

He had a girlfriend so we never spoke or did anything sexual. He spoke to me about some of their issues and I gave advice as best I could.

They broke up around 6 weeks ago and since then he and I have spent time together and gotten a lot closer.Continue Reading

The ONE Question You Need to Ask Yourself NOW If You’re Serious About Finding Real Love

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A father plays with his young daughter.
We’re the ones who only ever wanted to be loved by him.

If you don’t get to the root, nothing changes. If you don’t find your “why”, you can’t know where to look.

And if you don’t like where you are today, change it.

How? Find your why.

Why do you keep falling for the same type of man? Why is this man so attractive to you? Why him, and not someone else?

And more specifically, why do you believe so strongly that you NEED him? What is it about him that has you putting up with things you said you’d never EVER put up with before there was him?

Most of the women I work with discover right away that almost every single one of these questions has a common denominator – and it’s not her we’re talking about here. It’s a specific man.

Namely, the man known as her dad.Continue Reading

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