You say you're done.
You say you're ready to find the love you've been searching for your whole life.
But do you really mean it?
It's time to start living like you mean what you say. No more excuses, no more putting your love life on hold while the days slip away.
Yes, it's going to require some work on your part. But this is one where you set the pace. How quickly you want this to happen for you is completely up to you.
It's time to start paying attention – really listening - to that self-talk you do every day. Start noticing everything you do and say that isn't the truth about you. Everything that's someone else's version of you, someone else's story that's been put on you.
Make a note of it. Write it down.
And then remove it from your vocabulary.
This isn't you. It's your thoughts that influence your actions. And it's time to change the thinking we do.
We're clearing the slate. Starting fresh.
Today is the first day of you going out and getting what you want.
1. Pick your top "3".
Three top qualities you're looking for in a soul mate, partner, husband, whatever you want. But make sure it's what will matter as much down the road as it does today. Don't hide from what you're looking for. Put it out there.
You say you want love? Then why are you choosing someone who can't give you love? He's got to go.
You say you want marriage? Then choose someone who says on his dating profile "I want marriage". Same goes for kids. "I want kids" Ignore everything else. You want marriage, you want kids, you want someone capable of giving you love. Then stop giving a second look to the ones who you think you can convince of this. It's the ones who know what they want you're looking for.
2. Go Places.
Pick 2-5 places - as many places as you can handle going regularly (at least one every day) - where someone who's perfect for you could be found. Go there. Every day.
Every single time you catch yourself overthinking, down on yourself, judging yourself, blaming yourself, wondering what someone's thinking about you. Smile. Every time you catch yourself thinking about what others are going to say or think about you. Let them. This is where you smile.
You're going to get used to smiling. A lot. It changes you. Makes you more approachable. Happier. Gives you more confidence. Makes you so much easier to find.
Throw out every single thought that doesn't fit this new version of you. The clean slate, starting fresh version. Anger, cynicism, resentment, playing the victim role, blame, retaliation. Acknowledge them by saying "hi" to them, because yes, you recognize them, but then watch them pass right on by. There's no room for them here anymore.
4. Become the real you.
Every time a thought comes up that says "Who do you think you are?" Or "You've tried this all before". Or "Nothing's going to change". Smile at them. Every single one of them.
All the thoughts. All the naysayers you can picture behind the thoughts. Smile and thank them for reminding you of just how strong you are. Strong enough to see them for who they are … and strong enough to let them walk right on by.
There's no stopping here. You're off in a new direction. This is a new day. A new you. A new time for love. On your terms.
Smile at everyone. At everything. Find a reason to smile if you need one.
Write down everything about this experience. I want to hear what it's like for you. Share it with me in the comments below. Share it with everyone else on this journey.
Change takes time. But you're not changing anything. You're simply living. Walking. Being. Throwing off the old, putting on the new. Right as you go along.
Take notes throughout the day. It's a experiment I'm working on, you can tell them – the ones who can't help but ask. Can't tell you about it, hear yourself say. Because you can't. This one's all yours.
I want you to get used to holding something back. To being mysterious. To not letting on more than they have a right to know. They need to earn the right to know. That's what else this is about.
No more comparing yourself to anyone else.
Not on TV, not on Facebook. Not in real life.
The more you compare, the more you let "them" bring you down to size – to a size that isn't yours but one that's been put on you, and the more you allow yourself to be swallowed up in the comparison of what everyone else seems to have that you don't.
They don't. It's not a contest. You're so beautifully, uniquely you.
I've discovered that the more we look at everyone else, the less we see ourselves and all that we are and have to offer. Limit comparisons. Facebook is the absolute worst. I love Facebook for connections, but those images of perfect, happy people just isn't the whole story. There's so much more behind those images that they never allow you to see.
This is who you've always been!
Keep going. Make these your new daily habits. Your new mindset.
See? This is you without changing anything about yourself except your attitude. It's who you've always been.
It's time to wake up and take notice of what you've been all along.