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He says he just wants to be friends

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A man and a woman are having a serious discussion over dinner because she wants to know how he feels about her.
I just don’t know what to do.

It's never good when the guy we're into says he just wants to be friends.

Those are the words Lee didn't want to hear either. See if this sounds all too familiar to you and then tell me your own story of "the guy who says he just wants to be friends" in the comments. You're not alone!

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I started seeing this guy back in the summer and everything seemed to be going great. Lots of fun and enjoyment.

In August, he asked me to be exclusive and I agreed. So as time went by I noticed he was being a bit different and I was wondering why. When I asked him about us and our future he basically told me we are nothing serious but casual so I was left a bit confused by this.

Anyway, we both met on a dating app and I recently went to check was he back on it and I noticed he was.Continue Reading

Friends to lovers to I don't know

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Worried woman talking with boyfriend
Was I wrong to tell him how I feel?

Our letter this week comes from Kayla, who doesn't know what to make of the friendship/relationship she's been in with a guy for the past 4 years, and is looking for some help to understand what happened and what she can do to get him back.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I've been stuck in a never ending spiral that's worsened these past few months and feel completely out of control of my life and my feelings.

To give some background information, I have been friends with this guy for 4 years, from the end of high school to now, in college. Our relationship has always been flirtatious and full of banter and making jabs at each other.

Through him, I became best friends with his friends.

Recently, we've taken a couple steps forward from our initial friendship. Sure we've had moments in the past where it was this back and forth 'will they, won't they' situation, but nothing ever solid came from anything (and to be quite honest, because he would always pull back).Continue Reading

What do I do? He keeps giving me mixed signals!

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Lonely sad beautiful woman feeling hurt and heartbroken holding phone because boyfriend has gone radio silent
I'm so confused by all this!

Ever wondered if you're the only one whose understanding and supportive qualities keep getting taken for a ride? You're not alone! Calleigh has her own story to share and I'm pretty sure you'll see something you can relate to in here.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I met a guy at work four years ago. We hit it off right away and had an immediate connection. I've never been with someone who I liked so much and had so much in common and got along with. We started dating a few months later. Everything was just getting started when his parents started having health issues.

I stayed by him through everything.

We talked a few months later and he told me that because his parents were taking up so much of his time, we would have to have more of a friendship at the time. I agreed because I knew he had a lot going on and I wanted to be supportive.

He always acted like I was his girlfriend and would say things that only a boyfriend would say.Continue Reading

I Don't Want to Push Him Away!

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Couple at home sitting in sofa and having a talk
Should I bring it up again?

Gail wrote to me this week, to be heard, to be listened to, and I'm responding to her letter today on the blog.

Her love interest has said he just wants to be friends, and she wants more than that.

Sound familiar?

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I met a guy after being divorced for 7-1/2 years. I never thought I would meet anyone again to love me for who I am, but he’s a lawyer and he’s younger than me.

I'm 60, he’s 49.

He’s really busy in court and in the office, and we stay in different cities, yes, but my problem is he said he wants to be friends because he doesn’t have time for a relationship because he’s so busy. I understand that but I really have a problem with it because if you really care about someone, you’ll make time for them.

I’ve told him that.Continue Reading

He Says They're My Feelings and He Can't Change Them

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Woman lying in bed upset, wondering if she chased him away
The only thing I want is love.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Anna. She's having doubts about a man she's been dating for a year and a half and isn't sure what she should do with them. I have some thoughts for her and after hearing her story, I'm sure you will, too.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I have been reading your emails for some time and they are very encouraging so I would like to thank you for that.

I've been dating this man for a year and a half. He is kind, and a good man, and we are in exclusive relationship. He treats me well, he says he loves me and that he is in love with me. However, when I am with him, sometimes I feel I work hard for his attention.

I feel like he is distracted with his thoughts.Continue Reading

I Like Him But He Just Wants to be Friends

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A group of male and female friends are out together socially at a restaurant.
He acts like he likes me but says he just wants to be friends.

Where have we heard that before? It's an all too familiar one for most of us. And that's our letter writer's story this week, one of our beautiful readers who wants to remain Anonymous, so I'm calling her Lee. She likes a guy who only wants to be friends so she's wondering what to do.

Her letter:

So the thing is.... I like a guy from my school and he is amazing. Well, we talk a lot and we even text often.

But at the end of the day when I tell him I like him, he says he still wants us to be friends. I don't know what to do.

-Lee

My response:

Continue Reading

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