Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
The posts in the Finding Love category relate to bringing love into your life, whether you are currently single, dating, or in a relationship. This category includes topics such as finding yourself, knowing what you want, living your life, etc.
You know that guy you used to have? The one you lost? The one you think you were too much for, too needy with, or not enough of what he actually wanted you to be?
Yeah, that one.
He's gone now, right?
And you're sitting here, going back over every last conversation in your head. Every text, every message, every nuance. Until the very last one.Continue Reading
No one could convince me otherwise.
I had too much evidence to the contrary. All my past relationships, all the men I'd ever dated. They only showed me one thing - the same thing - nothing was ever changing, they all ended up the same, and the only thing I could count on with any certainty was that I was going to keep repeating the same patterns every time, no matter how I chose or where I moved to or what circumstances were different for me.
I was the problem.
I was the common-denominator. This could only be something about me. Everything I tried produced the same results, just a different guy with a different face and name, but the pattern, the intense chemistry and the promise of everything in the beginning followed by the gradual distancing and then the total demise of whatever was left of the relationship.
This was always the way it happened for me and NOTHING on the horizon seemed like it could move the needle one bit.
It didn't matter how I looked or what my actual age was or what I had going for me. I felt no different than if I was a 90 year old woman on her deathbed.
I had absorbed every ounce of that energy.Continue Reading
Why do we keep finding these guys?
Because we want to.
We want them. Exactly as they are.
They're our projects. Our goals.
We find the hardest guy to get to commit, the one who shows the least signs of settling down and being the family guy, the faithful guy or whatever else it is we say we want so badly but our actions keep showing us the opposite.
And we decide HE'S the guy we want. Why would we ever do that if we really wanted a real relationship with someone capable of loving us?
You're getting what you ACTUALLY want regardless of what you keep saying you want, Beautiful.
Everything about what you're doing by picking these guys is about proving your worth by getting this ungettable guy. If that's not a word already, it fits here perfectly so we're using it.Continue Reading
It all began when Becca responded to my call to claim the year as HER year to find the love she’d been searching for her whole life. In response to an email I sent out to my subscriber list, she responded with this.
Jane, I'm doing this. This is my year to find the love I've been wanting my whole life!"
I made a commitment to not go after the man that abandoned me and my children three times this last year and a half - I am worth more than how I have been treated- my children deserve a good man in their lives that values them as his own. No more will I beg or chase a man. I will allow only good in my life and my children's lives.
- Becca
I responded back to her with this email:
Awesome, Rebecca! I'm so glad you're here.
There is nothing like these words, spoken with conviction, to put this into motion, to claim your right to have exactly the kind of love you were made for!Continue Reading
At first I thought it was just a coincidence. Except that I've never believed in coincidences.
A woman I'd been coaching for a while who had all but given up hope of ever meeting one of the good guys I kept telling her to believe in, met someone.
His name was Nick.
He was different from all the rest. He was the opposite of her ex and the men she'd dated before.
I had a feeling about this one. And I was right. When he asked her to marry him a year later, she said yes.
That was the first Nick.
Then there was another woman who came to me out of the blue (but never out of the blue!) doing a Google search for "getting over emotionally unavailable men."
Same story. Out of love. Out of hope. Scared to trust or believe in anything being different again.Continue Reading
One of the things I absolutely love about my husband is how he handles surface social settings with such ease. While I'm thinking about what I want to say vs. what I should say or figuring out what's expected of me (because that early PK programming is always right there in my head!), he just shows up normal.
And you know why? Because I was attracted to someone who had ease in an area that I struggled with.
What's just normal and natural to him, is a struggle - or at least a second thought - for me!
My point for you? We're always attracted to someone who can do something we struggle with or don't believe we can do. That thing you're waiting for permission to do? As long as you believe you need permission - or don't give it to yourself, the more you're going to find someone who never looks for permission - or needs it - attractive.
See where I'm going with this?
Whether it's the bad boy, the guy who treats you bad BECAUSE HE CAN, the emotionally unavailable guy who doesn't care if he ever digs deeper because you do all the digging - and understanding - for him, this is why you can't stop being involved with this type of man.
Want to change it? Start here. Start today.Continue Reading
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