The most tragic part of loving the wrong people for us - the ones who don't love us back or love us the way we love them - is that we take this wrong person and we stake our worth on them.
Until they love us, we're unlovable. Until they accept us, we're unacceptable.
We tie our worth to someone who has no special claim to determine our worthiness. In fact, we pick the very one who's incapable of loving anyone like us at all.
Can you see this?
It's never about a guy, never about winning someone's love. It is always about proving something about ourselves we feel we have to prove. That's a made up story someone put on us, not anything to do with real love.
Take this guy you're holding to this task that he's utterly incapable of and never signed up for in the first place. Let him be just an ordinary guy.
Give yourself back your worth, your lovability, your more than acceptable status. It was never about him, but always about what we needed him to be.
If you don't need him - or any man - to validate you like this, can you see how much easier this thing you've made "the great impossible search" becomes?
Seeing this? Type "yes" here in the comments below.
Yes
So glad you're here, Nadine!
Yes
So glad you're seeing this, Carolyn!
When I read this it finally sunk in, I was trying to prove my worthiness by picking someone who was the least worthy to have my love because subconsciously I was trying to prove to myself just how worthy I am. If this particular guy who can't see my worth, and I can make him see my worth than I am worthy. It all makes sense now. Such a waste of time since he's incapable and still can't appreciate my worth any way. Thank you for helping me see this flaw.
Best,
Tuesday Williams
Took me years to figure this one out, Tuesday. So glad it helped you!!
Yes