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You are here: Home / Archives for 2020

Archives for 2020

The Lie of Brokenness

37 Comments

Woman looking into a broken mirror representing her low self-esteem.
No, there's nothing wrong with you.

When you've been told over and over again that you're broken, when you've been told you have to go to some being outside yourself to ask for forgiveness for the simple act of being human, you're going to forever have a hard time believing you're not.

And when heartbreak turns to more heartbreak and you can't seem to learn well enough from your past mistakes to exact any kind of different outcome, it's a tragedy that all you've got left is a scenario where you cast yourself at yet another man's feet and beg for forgiveness - for grace - to be given the right to be here just as you are.

It's something wrong with you all over again when you're told the very essence of you is bad, wrong, in desperate need of correction. Because the theme is the same as the one you first learned: you will always need someone outside of yourself to save you from yourself!

Look within, Beautiful. Look at your beautiful heart and soul.

Is there any good in you? Not their answer this time, but the answer that's your own.

The truth is, there is nothing but good in your heart, in you! You don't need this validation from anyone else for it to be true. That's how we got here in the first place.

Search your own heart and find your truth.Continue Reading

Once upon a time, there was a little girl with a dream. Remember her?

78 Comments

Beautiful little girl with big dreams, standing in a field blowing dandelion seeds.
What ever happened to her?

You remember her, don't you? She was you, not so very long ago.

What happened to her? Where did she go? What did she give up on? What did she go through that so tragically changed her?

See, there's something we're missing.

Someone, actually.

Someone to hear our stories.

Someone to see us in those stories.

Someone who cares enough to listen without judgement.

Someone who understands because they've been there before.

If you don't have that person in your life, I have some very good news for you.

You do today.

In honor of all of you, I've decided to devote today's post to being here, listening to your stories and answering as many of your questions as I can in real time today, below in the comments section of the blog.

Share your story in the comments below. Let me know what you need. Tell me how I can help you.

I'm here for you.

Love,

Jane

Yes, You Have One Too.

13 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a beach thinking about her absentee boyfriend, wondering why she loves him so much.
You won't know where it is until it's been crossed.

You have a line.

We all do.

I don't know where yours is, but somewhere along the way, you'll find it.

It hasn't been crossed yet or you would know, because something would be different. Nothing would be the same.

It wakes us up. It brings our excuses to a halt. It brings out a side of us we've never known before.

It's your boundary. Your line in the sand. The one thing you won't stand for.

You won't know you have it until it's so clearly right there in front of you.

And then, even if you don't think you have the strength or resolve to stand, you will. Even if the conscious part of you can't do it, your subconscious will.Continue Reading

HELP!!! My narcissist ex bought the house next to mine!

10 Comments

A woman is holding her head, exasperated, wondering why he wants to slow things down.
Avoiding him will be almost impossible!

Whenever I see a letter with capital letters and exclamation marks, I know this is a woman who desperately needs our help. Not just my help, but our whole community here. And that's exactly what I found in the email that landed in my inbox from Stacey.

Here's what she wrote:

HELP!!!

How am I supposed to deal with the emotions that I'm feeling now that I've finally ended my relationship of 6 years with a narcissist and he's bought the house right next door to mine?

NO contact is almost impossible.

I'm desperate for advice.

- StaceyContinue Reading

If There's ONE Thing I've Learned Through Everything I've Been Through, It's This....

12 Comments

A beautiful woman looks out over the beach, wondering why her boyfriend suddenly disappeared.
Sometimes it needs to get bad enough for us to see something needs to change.

It has to get worse before it gets better. I've always felt this, about everything.

We don't do anything different - until we're forced to. We don't change anything that needs to be changed - unless we have to change, even if it's just to maintain the status quo. We can't even see that anything needs to change until we're forced to see what it was so much easier NOT to see.

Until we can't pretend anymore. Until we can't just look away and pretend we don't see it.

I'm reminded of the time my best friend bought a plane ticket she couldn't afford, left her young kids with her husband, to fly clear across the country to try to convince me to see what she could see that I couldn't at the time.

She begged me to leave him, to come back with her, to see what I wasn't seeing, to believe her when she was telling me I was losing myself in him and settling for crumbs. It was breaking her heart to see me this way, and yet still, it didn't move me.

I told her she didn't know what she was talking about. That I was only telling her the awful things when it was bad but most of the rest of the time it was good, that she just wasn't hearing from me then.

She left without convincing me.

Continue Reading

I Don't Want to Push Him Away!

69 Comments

Couple at home sitting in sofa and having a talk
Should I bring it up again?

Gail wrote to me this week, to be heard, to be listened to, and I'm responding to her letter today on the blog.

Her love interest has said he just wants to be friends, and she wants more than that.

Sound familiar?

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I met a guy after being divorced for 7-1/2 years. I never thought I would meet anyone again to love me for who I am, but he’s a lawyer and he’s younger than me.

I'm 60, he’s 49.

He’s really busy in court and in the office, and we stay in different cities, yes, but my problem is he said he wants to be friends because he doesn’t have time for a relationship because he’s so busy. I understand that but I really have a problem with it because if you really care about someone, you’ll make time for them.

I’ve told him that.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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